Fantasizing/Romanticizing
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 116
Originally Posted by MyLittleHorsie 
I was listening to the radio and that riverboat song came on, really, really old. Sitting on a riverboat having a party...
Anyways I was like, I should smoke a joint. I was a daily smoker until my 30s. I quit when I married my husband. Then I thought, where would I even get weed. My son might smoke it, but pretty sure he doesn't have any. Hubby is like a blood hound. Plus his sisters are baby blood hounds as witnessed on a Sunday evening neighbourhood stroll when they began gagging, what is that it, what are they burning daddy it is so gross! I digress. Plus I would never ask my kid for some.
I started laughing at the absurdity. Reminded myself I am 42 and sure it was fun at one time, but not anymore. I imagine the same thing will happen with booze for the rest of my life. An absurd idea. My gf has been smoke free (cigarettes) for 15 years. She still has days she thinks... just one. Romanticism about booze. Like a Harlequin Romance sounds good but is so far fetched from reality it is laughable.
Anyways I was like, I should smoke a joint. I was a daily smoker until my 30s. I quit when I married my husband. Then I thought, where would I even get weed. My son might smoke it, but pretty sure he doesn't have any. Hubby is like a blood hound. Plus his sisters are baby blood hounds as witnessed on a Sunday evening neighbourhood stroll when they began gagging, what is that it, what are they burning daddy it is so gross! I digress. Plus I would never ask my kid for some.
I started laughing at the absurdity. Reminded myself I am 42 and sure it was fun at one time, but not anymore. I imagine the same thing will happen with booze for the rest of my life. An absurd idea. My gf has been smoke free (cigarettes) for 15 years. She still has days she thinks... just one. Romanticism about booze. Like a Harlequin Romance sounds good but is so far fetched from reality it is laughable.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
I actually get alarmed when people casually return to drinking on this website.
I can see that they are still thinking of drinking in a casual way.
It's not an offhand thing. If you are thinking about drinking, it's an emergency.
The other day someone posted something on my timeline and I think I was posting with this person while drinking and watching one of my favorite shows once. So the tv show, the drinks, and the feeling all flooded back in an instant. Like a flash of an image. I could feel it for a moment and it rocked me hard for a moment. Literally just a moment. I went, "woah" in my head and thought, so thats what people are thinking before they drink. They get a flash and then ENTERTAIN the idea and negotiate with it. Nine months into firm sobriety I was like "what the hell was that" and dropped it no problem, but I get how it starts.
Yes I used to drink very soon after getting a flash, but I was so deep in the addiction that I didn't have control.
The work you do in sobriety is the daily work of dealing with these thoughts very seriously. that is your work. The thoughts start the drinking. You want to quit for good? You want long term sobriety? learn to identify and work on your thoughts.
I can see that they are still thinking of drinking in a casual way.
It's not an offhand thing. If you are thinking about drinking, it's an emergency.
The other day someone posted something on my timeline and I think I was posting with this person while drinking and watching one of my favorite shows once. So the tv show, the drinks, and the feeling all flooded back in an instant. Like a flash of an image. I could feel it for a moment and it rocked me hard for a moment. Literally just a moment. I went, "woah" in my head and thought, so thats what people are thinking before they drink. They get a flash and then ENTERTAIN the idea and negotiate with it. Nine months into firm sobriety I was like "what the hell was that" and dropped it no problem, but I get how it starts.
Yes I used to drink very soon after getting a flash, but I was so deep in the addiction that I didn't have control.
The work you do in sobriety is the daily work of dealing with these thoughts very seriously. that is your work. The thoughts start the drinking. You want to quit for good? You want long term sobriety? learn to identify and work on your thoughts.
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