YCDT2

I need to stop drinking but I am not willing to go to AA. Can someone please offer alternatives or advice?

PeacefulWater12

Hello, there is a list of alternative programs up in the stickies.

PeacefulWater12

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...formation.html (Recovery Programs and Resources Information)

There you go.

biminiblue

You can stop drinking. Sounds like you're one of us though. It has to be all or nothing. Therefore, I will not pick up that first drink ever. That's where the trouble starts. Welcome to the forums.

Here, read through this, something will click.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))

YCDT2

Thank you. I certainly want it to be nothing. I want no part of this evil thing. I don't know why my brain tricks me into believing it will be enjoyable. It never is.

biminiblue

Sounds like you've tried the same tactics we all do until we learn the lesson.

Stop touching the hot stove.

We all tried to drink just a little. Once you love it too much, it's never just a little, right? We get it. Time to break up.

YCDT2

I'm going to come here every day and write in the 24 hour thread to keep track of my sobriety. I'm going to make a journal too. I think I need some motivation to try to show my dumb brain that getting a big number on my sobriety counter is a much better feeling than the drink. We shall see. I think I can do this. I am doing this!

Stayingsassy

How come you don't want to go to AA? Genuinely just asking.

YCDT2

I don't want anyone to know about my problem. It is a small town.

tomsteve

i got sober in small town. people saw me walkin out of stores with alcohol pretty much daily. people saw me fall off of bar stools. people saw me stumbling around drunk.
to be afraid of people seeing me going to get help was an unfounded fear. in fact, many people were glad to hear i finally got help.

biminiblue

I drew a red heart with a Sharpie on my kitchen calendar every day for the first 120 days. It was a tiny thing, but I didn't want to break that streak.

That and journaling - including a daily Gratitude list, both here and in my personal journal. I also joined the "March 2014" thread and posted there and the 24 thread every day.

Keep adding accountability layers.

I did go to AA meetings for a few months. I don't go any more, although I do like their materials, books etc. which are available to read at aa.org.

I also threw away all alcohol-related things at my house. All wine and beer and shot glasses, wine openers, bottle openers, mixers. I didn't walk down the beer aisle for quite some time. Didn't go to bars to eat, or parties. In those first few months I led a pretty sheltered life to keep myself safe.

Yes. You can.

Fusion

Hi YCDT2, welcome to SR!

The links posted by PeacefulWater12 and biminiblue are excellent. I found enormous benefit when I read them, plus a host of other threads, when I landed on the safe shores of SR. The diversity of experience, knowledge and information is comprehensive.

Journalling is a great tool, I still keep one and commit my ongoing plans, it seems that writing things out are transmitted more deeply into my brain. I also write a daily gratitude list, which I find really beneficial, it’s apparently scientifically proven to train the brain in focusing on positive things, rather than dwelling in negatives.

BullDog777

For what it's worth, AA teaches anonymity. Total anonymity. Where I went to AA, I saw people there who could have their careers ended if others found out...There were people who had done things that could put them away for a long time.....when that door opens and then closes and you're inside the walls....it's safe within reason. The moment I leave...so does anyone I've ever seen there.

Every AA person I've ever met takes that promise very seriously.

Try not to limit yourself this early on. If a meeting is all that is standing between you and a drink...go to the meeting.

I got turned off of AA in my early 20s . I went back in my 40s and it's been a very very positive experience for me this time. I'm very glad someone suggested to me to keep an open mind. It never hurts to have another tool of sobriety in the bag.

Welcome. I'm glad you're here.

Dee74

Welcome back YCDT2

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach, or a non meeting based approach like Rational Recovery,

If anonymity is an issue for you, have you considered online meetings?

Most methods have those now.

D

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR YCDT2, and congrats on making the decision to quit. As you've seen, there are lots of ways to quit drinking- AA is just one of many.

Regarding the statement above though, it's very likely - almost certain in fact, that people know about your problem already. Our addiction would have us believe that we are somehow cleverly hiding it, but people can tell - especially those close to us. And for the most part, recovery committees make anonymity a priority - so don't let fear of being "found out" stop you from getting the help you need. SR can definitely be a solid part of any recovery plan, so it's good to hear that you plan on spending more time here. Glad to have you aboard!

waynetheking

You live in a small town but you need to stop drinking. Being an alcoholic is nothing to be ashamed of. Not doing anything about it, is. Go get help. Get support. Get a plan and work it. Use every tool you can to battle this. Who cares what other people think. I'm not going to sugarcoat this. Your chances of staying sober are slim if you don't get a plan and get help. Good intentions are great. Without a plan there nothing and you'll continue to drink. How are you going to live your life sober? Hiding from small town people? Screw that. Go to AA and get help. The first 9 months of sobriety is critical. You better treat this for what it is. A disease. Take it very seriously.

YCDT2

Thank you to those that have offered suggestions other than pushing AA. I believe people can beat addiction in other ways, and so I am working on doing that. My husband is also going to quit, so I think my chances are better this time as well.

I'll be staying on the board this time, so I am sure I will be seeing you all in the virtual form for the next few months!