Beer at a funeral?
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Join Date: Aug 2016
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Beer at a funeral?
... believe it or not it didn’t surprise me. My mother in law passed this past feb from complications of career alcoholism. Her husband, my step father in law joined her this past week. My brother in law and my father in law both drink quite frequently too. So it didn’t surprise me that they brought **** prized truck to the funeral (**** was the*** who just passed) and filled it with coolers. And stood outside and drank beer as a family. I made the decision just this past Monday that I’m done pretending I can moderate. It was hard. My husband even said it’s ok if I wanted one. He knows my struggles but wanted to be supportive of whatever decision I made. I passed. And walked away as quickly as I could. Went back inside. And finally lost it. Crying. And told my husband I’m mad I can’t just drink myself into a hole to escape the heartache of that day. And he held me and said he wouldn’t drink anymore to help me. (He had one. And has no issues moderating).
It was a horrible day. But I didn’t make it worse by getting drunk.
It was a horrible day. But I didn’t make it worse by getting drunk.
Last edited by Dee74; 07-05-2021 at 11:05 PM. Reason: PM to me
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 349
The problem with “drinking yourself into a hole to forget” is that you wake up at the bottom of it. Good for you for sticking to your guns.
I went to a wedding last night at a winery, so plenty of booze. Didn’t bother me at 10 months in. It does get easier.
That being said, I did see a first for me at the event. The ceremony started about 15 minutes late. One agitated woman wanted her companion to go ask the bride, “How much longer?” He finally went and got her a big glass of beer to shut her up. So she drank it through the ceremony.
Go ask the bride, indeed. Glad that is no longer my life.
-bora
I went to a wedding last night at a winery, so plenty of booze. Didn’t bother me at 10 months in. It does get easier.
That being said, I did see a first for me at the event. The ceremony started about 15 minutes late. One agitated woman wanted her companion to go ask the bride, “How much longer?” He finally went and got her a big glass of beer to shut her up. So she drank it through the ceremony.
Go ask the bride, indeed. Glad that is no longer my life.
-bora
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by slipnslide 
... believe it or not it didn’t surprise me. My mother in law passed this past feb from complications of career alcoholism. Her husband, my step father in law joined her this past week. My brother in law and my father in law both drink quite frequently too. So it didn’t surprise me that they brought doc’s prized truck to the funeral (doc was the fil who just passed) and filled it with coolers. And stood outside and drank beer as a family. I made the decision just this past Monday that I’m done pretending I can moderate. It was hard. My husband even said it’s ok if I wanted one. He knows my struggles but wanted to be supportive of whatever decision I made. I passed. And walked away as quickly as I could. Went back inside. And finally lost it. Crying. And told my husband I’m mad I can’t just drink myself into a hole to escape the heartache of that day. And he held me and said he wouldn’t drink anymore to help me. (He had one. And has no issues moderating).
It was a horrible day. But I didn’t make it worse by getting drunk.
It was a horrible day. But I didn’t make it worse by getting drunk.
You did so good. Your heart grieves, as it should. That's normal and good and a testament to your love for her.
Im glad you were able to be true to yourself and not succumb to what caused your mother's death.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
I was very close with my maternal grandmother.
When she died in 2001, I noticed her younger brother (my great uncle) drinking beer before we drove to the cemetery for a graveside service.
It really upset me.
He is the prototypical "drunk uncle".
Most of us have at least one uncle who is a drunk, felon, pedophile, etc., and I am saddled with him.
When my wife and I were making our exit from our wedding reception (in 2005), I noticed him drinking bourbon from an ice tea glass, intoxicated as usual.
I was really embarrassed, because my in-laws (now deceased) were elegant people who drank very little (not enough to keep a bird alive).
We wish you well with your recovery efforts.
We will be awaiting updates on your progress.
Sobriety is an infinitely better life than battling the bottle.
When she died in 2001, I noticed her younger brother (my great uncle) drinking beer before we drove to the cemetery for a graveside service.
It really upset me.
He is the prototypical "drunk uncle".
Most of us have at least one uncle who is a drunk, felon, pedophile, etc., and I am saddled with him.
When my wife and I were making our exit from our wedding reception (in 2005), I noticed him drinking bourbon from an ice tea glass, intoxicated as usual.
I was really embarrassed, because my in-laws (now deceased) were elegant people who drank very little (not enough to keep a bird alive).
We wish you well with your recovery efforts.
We will be awaiting updates on your progress.
Sobriety is an infinitely better life than battling the bottle.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
You did the right thing. Don't lose this battle with alcoholism. I'm sorry for your loss. This disease sucks. There's nothing good about it. At least your making the right decision by not drinking. Hang in there girl.
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