Lost please help
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Hope your day is going well Sohard. Whether you want to call it addiction or alcoholism or an alcohol issue/problem/etc I personally feel that the solution is one in the same. Whether the problem is physical, neurological, or even cosmological ( or a combination of all the above ) I don't think it matters. In fact, I think searching obsessively for the "why" answer is counterproductive. I searched for years and what I was really looking for was an answer so I could FIX it and drink moderately again. Which of course is not an option for me, ever. Not even one single sip. I had to simply accept that something about me is different in that I cannot drink alcohol without consequences. And that fact can never be changed. It's not "fair" and I don't necessarily like it, but then again life isn't fair.
Fortunately it's a problem that is 100% avoidable. It's our choice every single day as to whether we will drink or not.
Fortunately it's a problem that is 100% avoidable. It's our choice every single day as to whether we will drink or not.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Thanks all. Day 2. Woo hoo. I’m trying to think differently about it, though. I’m trying to remind myself that it’s that I have chosen not to drink, not that I can’t drink. This is my choice. And I’m also not thinking about it in terms of forever anymore. I’m just thinking about it in terms of the next two weeks. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. I think that’ll make it easier for me to make some headway. I hope.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Before I quit, and I was sitting there miserable and soaked in alcohol when I was needing to relax, or when I was waking at 3am with panic and dread, or when in was breaking my 1,000,000th promise to stick to 4 drinks or maybe even just 6, I would tell myself: I wish I could be done forever. I want to just quit. I want it over, for the rest of my life.
When I did quit, and I knew inside my body and my soul that I had quit, these were my thoughts: "oh! It's done. It's finally over. That giant, scary, terrible, embarrassing problem is gone. I did it. I finally quit."
I hope the same happens to you.
When I did quit, and I knew inside my body and my soul that I had quit, these were my thoughts: "oh! It's done. It's finally over. That giant, scary, terrible, embarrassing problem is gone. I did it. I finally quit."
I hope the same happens to you.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
My Beast perked right up at the timing of GT's experiment, I'm heading to the Big Easy ( first time visit) in two weeks 
I'll be sleeping on Bourbon Street , never did get to try Pappy Van Winkles maybe I'll do a web search to see if it's around town.
I'll be sleeping on Bourbon Street , never did get to try Pappy Van Winkles maybe I'll do a web search to see if it's around town.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by dwtbd 
My Beast perked right up at the timing of GT's experiment, I'm heading to the Big Easy ( first time visit) in two weeks
I'll be sleeping on Bourbon Street , never did get to try Pappy Van Winkles maybe I'll do a web search to see if it's around town.
I'll be sleeping on Bourbon Street , never did get to try Pappy Van Winkles maybe I'll do a web search to see if it's around town.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
This is where I get into big trouble. Day two and heading home. I don’t know how to stop myself from driving to the wine store. I literally don’t know how. Obviously, I am going to try not to, but I’ve zero faith in myself. Zero!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 369
Originally Posted by csilvers1984
Keep your head up!! You're already ahead of myself as you've been sober!! It's taken myself getting some not good health news for me to want to make a change. I'm not sober yet but I'm getting into a facility in the coming week.
I have severe anxiety and withdrawal symptoms or I would stop now. Good for you for wanting it!!! It's taken me 10yrs to really want it.
Keep the want and the passion to quit! Thinks positive and continue to strive for sobriety!
I have severe anxiety and withdrawal symptoms or I would stop now. Good for you for wanting it!!! It's taken me 10yrs to really want it.
Keep the want and the passion to quit! Thinks positive and continue to strive for sobriety!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Sohard, who is driving your car? You mentioned a neurological basis of addiction and if you’ve researched, you’ll know about the pre-frontal cortex with its executive centre and the opposite, the limbic part of the. brain (and other related sites, this is a simplified model as you’ll know). Once Addiction/habit is formed, the craving for alcohol lives in and drives from the limbic shstem, where habits, behaviours and addictions become automatic and habituated.
But, a big BUT is that the alcohol wanting liambic system has to pass messages to your pre-frontal cortex, the executive brain.......and the PFC has the power to veto, to deny the limbic systems’s request to feed its alcohol habit. This is what happens when someone experiences a craving, but doesn’t act on it, like Pavlov’s dog.
Soooo. Using the car analogy, you, the PFC are driving your car, the limbic part of the brain is sat on the back seat. The limbic back seat passenger is screaming at you to turn left or right and drive to the alcohol store to get its fix. You can ignore it’s screaming demands, because it has zero control of the car, you are the driver and in control. You can drive your car straight home and ignore the habituated limbic system, turn the radio on and drown it out.
But, a big BUT is that the alcohol wanting liambic system has to pass messages to your pre-frontal cortex, the executive brain.......and the PFC has the power to veto, to deny the limbic systems’s request to feed its alcohol habit. This is what happens when someone experiences a craving, but doesn’t act on it, like Pavlov’s dog.
Soooo. Using the car analogy, you, the PFC are driving your car, the limbic part of the brain is sat on the back seat. The limbic back seat passenger is screaming at you to turn left or right and drive to the alcohol store to get its fix. You can ignore it’s screaming demands, because it has zero control of the car, you are the driver and in control. You can drive your car straight home and ignore the habituated limbic system, turn the radio on and drown it out.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Tatsy
Sohard, who is driving your car? You mentioned a neurological basis of addiction and if you’ve researched, you’ll know about the pre-frontal cortex with its executive centre and the opposite, the limbic part of the. brain (and other related sites, this is a simplified model as you’ll know). Once Addiction/habit is formed, the craving for alcohol lives in and drives from the limbic shstem, where habits, behaviours and addictions become automatic and habituated.
But, a big BUT is that the alcohol wanting liambic system has to pass messages to your pre-frontal cortex, the executive brain.......and the PFC has the power to veto, to deny the limbic systems’s request to feed its alcohol habit. This is what happens when someone experiences a craving, but doesn’t act on it, like Pavlov’s dog.
Soooo. Using the car analogy, you, the PFC are driving your car, the limbic part of the brain is sat on the back seat. The limbic back seat passenger is screaming at you to turn left or right and drive to the alcohol store to get its fix. You can ignore it’s screaming demands, because it has zero control of the car, you are the driver and in control. You can drive your car straight home and ignore the habituated limbic system, turn the radio on and drown it out.
But, a big BUT is that the alcohol wanting liambic system has to pass messages to your pre-frontal cortex, the executive brain.......and the PFC has the power to veto, to deny the limbic systems’s request to feed its alcohol habit. This is what happens when someone experiences a craving, but doesn’t act on it, like Pavlov’s dog.
Soooo. Using the car analogy, you, the PFC are driving your car, the limbic part of the brain is sat on the back seat. The limbic back seat passenger is screaming at you to turn left or right and drive to the alcohol store to get its fix. You can ignore it’s screaming demands, because it has zero control of the car, you are the driver and in control. You can drive your car straight home and ignore the habituated limbic system, turn the radio on and drown it out.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by Sohard
This is where I get into big trouble. Day two and heading home. I don’t know how to stop myself from driving to the wine store. I literally don’t know how. Obviously, I am going to try not to, but I’ve zero faith in myself. Zero!
Today this is me: "I'm tired. I ate cake all weekend. I don't want to go to crossfit. I don't want to get back to my healthy eating. I want to finish the cake and binge watch netflix."
but my higher brain said, "sass, you're finally getting stronger in your workouts. You're building lean muscle and you're losing belly fat. That's because you've been getting back to eating how you should and not missing workouts."
so I got up, had a couple eggs, got my work out clothes on, finished crossfit, came home, and had a salad with tuna.
The cake is still in the freezer.
I just said no. I knew I'd regret it if I didnt. So I chose the next right step.
Just say no to that which wants you to fail.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
A MASSIVE YES! It’s called neuro plasticity. For it to work, every time you experience a craving, urge, thought, feeling, that wants a drink......you must ignore it and the brain, effectively unlearns the addiction, the neuronal pathways that formed as a result of associating alcohol with stress, relief, relaxation etc. become, effectively grassed over due to not acting on the drink craving and new pathways are formed. It’s amazing.
I’m going to dig out some information for you to watch and read tomorrow night. So until then, please don’t drink and please don’t forget that your thoughts of alcohol cannot control you, they are the back seat passenger, and they won’t always be sat there, you will eject them by not acting on their demands........they may occasionally creep back in the back door, once the new routes are formed, but by then, you can instantly throw them out, as easily as you would wave your hand to wave away a fly.
I’m going to dig out some information for you to watch and read tomorrow night. So until then, please don’t drink and please don’t forget that your thoughts of alcohol cannot control you, they are the back seat passenger, and they won’t always be sat there, you will eject them by not acting on their demands........they may occasionally creep back in the back door, once the new routes are formed, but by then, you can instantly throw them out, as easily as you would wave your hand to wave away a fly.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Tatsy/Sassy!
Thank you so much for your support this evening! I drove home and made no stops. I made a healthy dinner and am going to bed (yes, it’s only 8:30, but better safe than sorry). Thank you both for your words of wisdom!!
Thank you so much for your support this evening! I drove home and made no stops. I made a healthy dinner and am going to bed (yes, it’s only 8:30, but better safe than sorry). Thank you both for your words of wisdom!!
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by Sohard
Tatsy/Sassy!
Thank you so much for your support this evening! I drove home and made no stops. I made a healthy dinner and am going to bed (yes, it’s only 8:30, but better safe than sorry). Thank you both for your words of wisdom!!
Thank you so much for your support this evening! I drove home and made no stops. I made a healthy dinner and am going to bed (yes, it’s only 8:30, but better safe than sorry). Thank you both for your words of wisdom!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 65
Sohard writes>>>I just want someone to be a wizard and make this work. Sorry. <<<
You’ve gotten a lot of advice on this board, I don’t give advice. Before I recovered I was given a lot of advice, it didn’t work.
My recovery from both alcohol and tobacco was based me being afraid that I would lose my heath and die from these addictions. I got scared and stopped using both substances and it had nothing to do with an AA group or any other group, a therapist, God / Higher Power, it had to do with my survival instinct, I reached my bottom. However, I did take the 12 steps as a design for living, which is separate from my addictions, as well as I attend Al-Anon and ACoA.
I’ve been listening to addicts of all types including non-substance addicts for at least 50 years and everyone’s bottom is different.
You’ve gotten a lot of advice on this board, I don’t give advice. Before I recovered I was given a lot of advice, it didn’t work.
My recovery from both alcohol and tobacco was based me being afraid that I would lose my heath and die from these addictions. I got scared and stopped using both substances and it had nothing to do with an AA group or any other group, a therapist, God / Higher Power, it had to do with my survival instinct, I reached my bottom. However, I did take the 12 steps as a design for living, which is separate from my addictions, as well as I attend Al-Anon and ACoA.
I’ve been listening to addicts of all types including non-substance addicts for at least 50 years and everyone’s bottom is different.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 978
Originally Posted by Tatsy
Sohard, who is driving your car? You mentioned a neurological basis of addiction and if you’ve researched, you’ll know about the pre-frontal cortex with its executive centre and the opposite, the limbic part of the. brain (and other related sites, this is a simplified model as you’ll know). Once Addiction/habit is formed, the craving for alcohol lives in and drives from the limbic shstem, where habits, behaviours and addictions become automatic and habituated.
But, a big BUT is that the alcohol wanting liambic system has to pass messages to your pre-frontal cortex, the executive brain.......and the PFC has the power to veto, to deny the limbic systems’s request to feed its alcohol habit. This is what happens when someone experiences a craving, but doesn’t act on it, like Pavlov’s dog.
Soooo. Using the car analogy, you, the PFC are driving your car, the limbic part of the brain is sat on the back seat. The limbic back seat passenger is screaming at you to turn left or right and drive to the alcohol store to get its fix. You can ignore it’s screaming demands, because it has zero control of the car, you are the driver and in control. You can drive your car straight home and ignore the habituated limbic system, turn the radio on and drown it out.
But, a big BUT is that the alcohol wanting liambic system has to pass messages to your pre-frontal cortex, the executive brain.......and the PFC has the power to veto, to deny the limbic systems’s request to feed its alcohol habit. This is what happens when someone experiences a craving, but doesn’t act on it, like Pavlov’s dog.
Soooo. Using the car analogy, you, the PFC are driving your car, the limbic part of the brain is sat on the back seat. The limbic back seat passenger is screaming at you to turn left or right and drive to the alcohol store to get its fix. You can ignore it’s screaming demands, because it has zero control of the car, you are the driver and in control. You can drive your car straight home and ignore the habituated limbic system, turn the radio on and drown it out.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Hi Sohard,
Well, we’re moving up onto 11 days to go.
When you find yourself thinking about drinking/not drinking, let your voluntary muscles take a pause and think back and forth about your drinking choices.
Recognize the one that says NO, and realize you are doing exactly what is necessary to accomplish that one at that very moment. You are moving none of your voluntary muscles. Then, after some relaxed breathing, continue and do whatever else you are going to do.
It is your Addictive Voice that is eventually going to find it SO HARD to get YOU to move towards drinking.
These 11 days left are here to get you to practice that control of your voluntary muscles against your Addictive Voice, however counterintuitive it may feel. You just HAVE to DO IT. 11 more days.
GT
PS, if you did drink, I see you’re here, so, no biggie. This two week plan can be started any time.
Well, we’re moving up onto 11 days to go.
When you find yourself thinking about drinking/not drinking, let your voluntary muscles take a pause and think back and forth about your drinking choices.
Recognize the one that says NO, and realize you are doing exactly what is necessary to accomplish that one at that very moment. You are moving none of your voluntary muscles. Then, after some relaxed breathing, continue and do whatever else you are going to do.
It is your Addictive Voice that is eventually going to find it SO HARD to get YOU to move towards drinking.
These 11 days left are here to get you to practice that control of your voluntary muscles against your Addictive Voice, however counterintuitive it may feel. You just HAVE to DO IT. 11 more days.
GT
PS, if you did drink, I see you’re here, so, no biggie. This two week plan can be started any time.
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