whitejay

Hello SR ! I haven't been here for a long time. Feels good to find my way back.
The title says it all.

My story is depressing - very depressing. I have been diagnosed severe depression (ongoing) for 30 years and all that time I bing drank.

Looking at around one year in county.
Lawyer said even if I go into a residential rehab I will still be serving time inside.

Words of wisdom to help me through time in jail ? (female)

Scared to death. I'd rather be in State than County. Only because I have heard really bad things.

Stayingsassy

Jail or death is where we are all eventually headed if we do not quit, so anyone here who has not committed to sobriety is on the same path you are on, depending on the reliability and staying power of their enablers.

Use this time to rebuild yourself. go to the jail sponsored recovery program. Read. learn a skill. Help others. Exercise.

You will be given three squares and a place to sleep, so focus entirely on your sobriety and building your reinforcements against relapse.

Best wishes.

trachemys

Volunteer for work detail. I turned 30 days into 10 by working in the kitchen. Rough schedule but, I was out of there quicker.

Dee74

Hi whitejay - I have no experience at all but wishing you the best.
You'll get through this

D

nez

What the hell do I know anyway? My thinking took me to the depths of hell. Many times my preconceived notions of the worst place I could imagine myself to wind up in, turned out to be the best place for me. Like I said, what the hell do I know anyway?

The emergency room with IVs in my arms. Rehab. On the floor in the fetal position unable to function. Sobbing alone by myself in my business after hours because I couldn't go home. In the rooms of AA. None of these places were at the top of my list of desired locations. What the hell do I know? They were gifts that brought me to today.

whitejay

At first I was in shock that someone like "me" (yeah right) could end up like this.....

Then the second phase was mad. How dare those stupid morons send me to jail.

The third phase was cussing out my lawyer (why) ? No reason

Fourth phase scrambling for a way out-
AA, rehab, counseling, anything...

Fifth phase shoot maybe I do need help

Sixth phase acceptance

Seventh - what a waste of life - I wish God never made me who I am....why couldn't I just be normal like everyone else......

I always prayed for God to take away my desire for alcohol - and you know what.
It took jail to stop me......

Thank you all for caring

Maudcat

Good thoughts, whitejay.

BlueMegaFool

oops. Double post. See post below.

BlueMegaFool

A few things that might help with your fear of what lies ahead.

The Ankle monitor program. As soon as you get inside apply for it. I you have someone on the outside you can stay with have them contact the jail and push for it. The second part is huge. It made the difference for me and they had me out on ankle monitor after just one month.

There are various ways to get good time. Ask around and utilize any that are available. Usually classes of some sort. If your county jail is over crowded like ours they often give maximum good time to everyone to get them out as fast as they can.

Books! Books are your best friend. Even if you are not a reader, you will be. I read some great books in jail.

It's really not that scary once you get there. Boredom is the hardest thing.

Personally I was grateful to know I would be sober for the 6 months they gave me. I was a complete mess when I went in. Of course I didn't do the full six months. One month inside and 3 on ankle monitor. You get extra good time off if you are on ankle monitor.

Back to the gratitude. I met a guy who called the Jail "God's Hospital". It really was for me. It can really be a spiritual time of prayer and reflection. There is a reason you are there and it can be the best thing that ever happened to you.

whitejay

That helps tremendously Bluemegafool.

After I read your post I sat back and reflected on "Gods Hospital" and gratitude that you spoke of.

That's my problem. I've never been grateful for anything in my life. All I did was think about how depressed I am and how drinking will make it all better....

My eyes are now open and I am going to look at this as a Blessing.

Thanks again

entropy1964

I'm really just lucky that I haven't had legal problems as a result of my drinking. Very lucky. Truly, I should have gone to jail many times.

It takes what it takes....you will have a very solid footing in your recovery when you get out and have an opportunity to start a whole new way of interacting with your life.

We'll be here for you when you get out!

Fly N Buy

I have two friends in the rooms who did county time. Fast forward a bit - one just finished Master degree and the other is running their own business

BlueMega has shared some amazing insight. IME it is in that suffering that God is sought and found. Prayers for you my friend.

The program many of us follow can evoke a spiritual awakening sufficient to recover from alcoholism. It really works for those who commit to it - 100 percent of the time. Our pasts can become our greatest assets. Yours will as well, certainly.

Warm Regards,
Fly

SoberCAH

I hope that you can do inpatient treatment before you enter jail.

It certainly helped me.

Jail may be God's way of saving your life.

You will be around other very sick people (substance abuse, mental health problems, etc.), but you may be Exhibit A as to recovery to them if you use the time to focus myopically on getting sober.

Although I have only spent 1 night in the joint (many, many years ago), I have plenty of friends from AA who have done significant time and who got and stayed sober.

Please keep us posted - we are here for you.

Yippiee - this is my 2,000th post. And I'm still sober.

whitejay

You know, it's so weird to sit around and think about all the people in this big world of ours that drink all day, every day and they never end up in jail.

Then there is me: the 1x a week bing drinker that gets popped every time. I blame it on me being single and I have no one to drive me home.

Isn't that the most insane thinking ever ?? ha ha what a joke

Then I blame it on going into bad areas that attract tons of police and the odds were against me anyways....(why did I feel a need to go into bad towns).....need psychologist on this one !

Now, I am starting to think this is God's way of saving me before I kill myself or someone else.

To open my eyes to the truth, bring light into my darkness, show me how to have feelings for others (alcohol kept me very self-centered and extremely shallow). Never giving away NOTHING, especially my emotions or the real me...........

yes I can blame my inherited depression from my dads side of the family (all 5 sisters died of alcoholism and a my cousin ,who was the son of a Judge, died on the floor of his mom's house and she didn't even know he was dead for 5 days because she herself was so drunk.

I have no one else to blame anymore. I am beyond amazed at all the wonderful things you guys have said to me. Feels good to have non judgemental people who really do care.

May I bring something good to others for once in my life..

Bless

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