seamushan

I'm 35 and I used to be a binge drinker and for most of my life I've used alcohol as a crutch in social situations but last year I took some marijuna and it triggered off a panic attack. Ever since then any time I drank the next day Id suffer terrible rebound anxiety where Id fear that the marijuna related panic attack would come back where I'd believe I'd lose control and would go crazy and so because of this from Jan of this year I only drank 3 times.

So currently I've been off the drink for over 2 months and during that period I've that I've become very moody. Sometimes I'd be very joyous and positive and then a few days later I'd become despondent about how **** life is. Lately, I feel like I'm trapped in my own mind and would love some form of escapism. I still have the thoughts that the weed induced panic attack will come back and this is one of the reasons why Im not drinking as I fear going back there.

One thing I have noticed is that I'm a lot more relaxed around people and that I can push myself much more in social situations. I'm just wondering whether all these moods and emotions are normal? And what should I expect in the future?

least

Congrats on two months sober and welcome to the family. Yes, moodiness is very common in early sobriety. The brain is used to functioning under a depressant so it's a roller coaster ride at first.

It gets better tho, the longer you stay sober.

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR and congrats on 2 months sober seamushan. You'll find a lot of support and understanding here, and yes - the ups and downs are very common in the first months of being sober. It takes time for your body and mind to re-adjust.

Stayingsassy

Very normal. Frustrating and difficult but normal. Just hang in there! congrats on two months!

SnazzyDresser

Congrats on 2 months sober, seamushan! Meditating has helped me a lot to quiet my anxious overactive mind, makes being sober about a zillion times better.

Dee74

Emotional ups and downs are very common seamushan.

I got a lot more emotionally consistent around 90 days - I hope you will too

welcome to SR

D

seamushan

Thank you for the kind words! What type of meditating do you do? Have you any recommendations?

seamushan

Thank you all for the support, it is very much appreciated. Today I am feeling anxious and I fear that "I will go crazy" and "lose control" I know all of these thoughts are irrational but they are hard to get rid off. The thoughts where originally triggered when I smoked weed and it induced a terrifying panic attack.

biminiblue

Next time you have that thought that you will go crazy or lose control - say to yourself, "That's just my anxiety. Anxiety is just a thought. It can't hurt me, and I will be okay. I am safe in this moment."

Then do this breathing exercise:

Box Breathing - Navy Seals

If I don't grab onto a thought, it doesn't escalate.

Stayingsassy

Yes. Thought stopping is possible. I discovered certain trigger thoughts in myself. Of dying suddenly, my children getting an illness, not being present enough for my parents, losing my job...you name it. I learned to tell myself "I'm not going to go there right now.". That was my actual self talk:

" I'm not going to go there right now. ". Because "there" would spiral to panic at times.

I've had panic attacks in the past (way before sobriety) and once they get started they are nearly impossible to stop. I would usually drink several glasses of water and go run for a while and that helped but stopping it when it STARTS is key.

BullDog777

Yeah....THIS .

Early in sobriety I caught myself yelling STOP!!!! To divert my mind before it started to snowball..

My wife catches me doing it sometimes too...although I don't yell it anymore.

We can be watching tV or just hanging out and my mind will start to wander into places I shouldn't go. She'll just hear me quietly say "Stop". It took her awhile to get used to, but she knows where it's coming from. Doing that consciously breaks the pattern in the moment. I learned that from therapy.

Stayingsassy

I stay stop out loud too! "No sassy, stop! Now stop it! "

It's so simple that its funny how it helps.

biminiblue

I also use the out loud, "Stop."

It works.

Sometimes I recite a prayer or a poem right at that moment too. It breaks that momentum of worry.

NYCDoglvr

For me the first six months was like 24/7 PMS in a full moon. Stay the course and you will feel better.

Dave42001

Nice work on 2 months, 90 days is right around the corner!!

hang in there, my first year was full of ups and downs... part of the deal!!

Remember every day you don't drink is a Super Bowl WIN!!!!!! keep working it!!!