Why did he push me away
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Join Date: May 2018
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Why did he push me away
Why did my functioning alcoholic boyfriend suddenly push me away when I had no problem with his drinking. I made one small comment about not wanting to hangout with his new drinking buddy and even offered to leave so they could have guy-time and 2 days later he dumped me. After 2 weeks of a breakup we were to get together as friends and he cancelled last min..why?? Why did he push me away??
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Originally Posted by biminiblue 
Again, you dodged a bullet.
Let go. He doesn't want to see you.
We never get satisfactory answers in break-ups. That may not be what you want to hear, but it is the truth.
Let go. He doesn't want to see you.
We never get satisfactory answers in break-ups. That may not be what you want to hear, but it is the truth.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
This could actually be a "it's not you, it's me" situation. It sounds like he's realized that being in a relationship may threaten his drinking. Not saying this is for sure the case, but I know that there were times where my drinking came before anything (or anyone) else.
biminiblue is right about you dodging a bullet. It might not seem that way right now, but alcoholism is progressive and so is the chaos that come with it.
biminiblue is right about you dodging a bullet. It might not seem that way right now, but alcoholism is progressive and so is the chaos that come with it.
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Originally Posted by Broken3481
Why did my functioning alcoholic boyfriend suddenly push me away when I had no problem with his drinking
Active alcoholism is not a fun thing to be around.
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Location: canada
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hi there,
can't answer why he pushed you away, but i do have a question for you: how come you had/have no problem with his alcoholic drinking? what is going on with you that you are perfectly fine with having an alcoholic as a boyfriend?
if you were to explore that for yourself, that would possibly show you areas where you could effect some change and have control.
can't answer why he pushed you away, but i do have a question for you: how come you had/have no problem with his alcoholic drinking? what is going on with you that you are perfectly fine with having an alcoholic as a boyfriend?
if you were to explore that for yourself, that would possibly show you areas where you could effect some change and have control.
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Location: The Present
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You dodged a hail of gunfire here. In an early relationship, if I guy chooses his drinking buddies over his girlfriend, it's indicative of a potential relationship of long-term abuse, where you will always come second. I know it's hard, but look at this breakup as a lucky break.
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Originally Posted by RecklessEric
I strongly suspect you may have developed a problem with his drinking.
Active alcoholism is not a fun thing to be around.
Active alcoholism is not a fun thing to be around.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
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You have no control on his drinking behavior, only he can make the choice to stop. Take a look at going to an Al Anon meeting. it's a sister group of AA. It's for friends, spouses and family of alcoholics / addicts etc.. here's some information and link to the program.
Al-Anon defines itself as an independent fellowship with the stated purpose of helping relatives and friends of alcoholics.[4] According to the organization, alcoholism is a family illness.[4] Its "Preamble to the Twelve Steps" provides a general description:
The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems. We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.
Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution; does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues for membership. Al-Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.
Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.[4]
"We welcome you to the [Name of Group] Al-Anon Family Group and hope you will find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy. We who live, or have lived, with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. We, too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless, and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al-Anon/Alateen
Al-Anon defines itself as an independent fellowship with the stated purpose of helping relatives and friends of alcoholics.[4] According to the organization, alcoholism is a family illness.[4] Its "Preamble to the Twelve Steps" provides a general description:
The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems. We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.
Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution; does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues for membership. Al-Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.
Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.[4]
"We welcome you to the [Name of Group] Al-Anon Family Group and hope you will find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy. We who live, or have lived, with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. We, too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless, and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al-Anon/Alateen
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Thanks
The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems. We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.
Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution; does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues for membership. Al-Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.
Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.[4]
"We welcome you to the [Name of Group] Al-Anon Family Group and hope you will find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy. We who live, or have lived, with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. We, too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless, and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic
Thk u for explaining this. I never knew what Al anon was or a.a. really for that matter
Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution; does not engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues for membership. Al-Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.
Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.[4]
"We welcome you to the [Name of Group] Al-Anon Family Group and hope you will find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy. We who live, or have lived, with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. We, too, were lonely and frustrated, but in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless, and that it is possible for us to find contentment, and even happiness, whether the alcoholic
Thk u for explaining this. I never knew what Al anon was or a.a. really for that matter
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