After hitting 1 year I drank
Maladaptive
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: East coast, USA
Posts: 558
Omg, thank you all for the support. What good friends you are! I feel so much love from you all!
As for the big plan— I haven’t gotten to that. Right now, I’m working on getting a few good days in. As for a funk and depression and how to cope with all that, i know I need to do it. I guess I was lucky my pink cloud lasted a year. And this isn’t my first time doing this. The last time, before I found out I couldn’t moderate, i relapsed for about 4 years. Not doing that again. I don’t think my marriage could survive it.
I coasted thru last year, now I have seen both sides and have to figure out how to deal with the urges and put that beast back in its hole.
As for the big plan— I haven’t gotten to that. Right now, I’m working on getting a few good days in. As for a funk and depression and how to cope with all that, i know I need to do it. I guess I was lucky my pink cloud lasted a year. And this isn’t my first time doing this. The last time, before I found out I couldn’t moderate, i relapsed for about 4 years. Not doing that again. I don’t think my marriage could survive it.
I coasted thru last year, now I have seen both sides and have to figure out how to deal with the urges and put that beast back in its hole.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by Shitzupuppy 
As for the big plan— I haven’t gotten to that.
... now I ... have to figure out how to deal with the urges and put that beast back in its hole.
... now I ... have to figure out how to deal with the urges and put that beast back in its hole.
With the Big Plan, you can forget WHY you quit for good, but you can never forget that you DID quit for good. Using the “NEVER again”, with AVRT to build your life as an abstainer makes it impossible to NOT remember that you decided “I will never drink again.” That’s how the “urge” to drink is dealt with whenever it may pop up over the decades of the rest of your life.
That “urge” is not you, it is your AV still trying to get you to believe you lied to yourself about making the Big Plan.
I have tried, but cannot lie to myself. I’ve asked others to try as well, but every time they have failed, too. We always know what we just tried to do and it doesn’t work. So, when someone makes The Big Plan, he/she KNOWS absolutely, whether they really mean it or not.
I know I will die without EVER again experiencing that DEEP PLEASURE from drinking alcohol. That’s what using AVRT after making the Big Plan means. And that death is certain to be delayed because I never drink.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Shitzupuppy
Good morning, I’m back after binging for about 6 weeks. Today is day 2 and my head is in the right place. ��
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by GerandTwine
You answered your own question. If you decide to use RR’s Addictive Voice Recognition Technique you can live out the rest of your life and NEVER experience that “deep pleasure” of being drunk EVER again. You know that is what is morally correct for you.
With the Big Plan, you can forget WHY you quit for good, but you can never forget that you DID quit for good. Using the “NEVER again”, with AVRT to build your life as an abstainer makes it impossible to NOT remember that you decided “I will never drink again.” That’s how the “urge” to drink is dealt with whenever it may pop up over the decades of the rest of your life.
That “urge” is not you, it is your AV still trying to get you to believe you lied to yourself about making the Big Plan.
I have tried, but cannot lie to myself. I’ve asked others to try as well, but every time they have failed, too. We always know what we just tried to do and it doesn’t work. So, when someone makes The Big Plan, he/she KNOWS absolutely, whether they really mean it or not.
I know I will die without EVER again experiencing that DEEP PLEASURE from drinking alcohol. That’s what using AVRT after making the Big Plan means. And that death is certain to be delayed because I never drink.
With the Big Plan, you can forget WHY you quit for good, but you can never forget that you DID quit for good. Using the “NEVER again”, with AVRT to build your life as an abstainer makes it impossible to NOT remember that you decided “I will never drink again.” That’s how the “urge” to drink is dealt with whenever it may pop up over the decades of the rest of your life.
That “urge” is not you, it is your AV still trying to get you to believe you lied to yourself about making the Big Plan.
I have tried, but cannot lie to myself. I’ve asked others to try as well, but every time they have failed, too. We always know what we just tried to do and it doesn’t work. So, when someone makes The Big Plan, he/she KNOWS absolutely, whether they really mean it or not.
I know I will die without EVER again experiencing that DEEP PLEASURE from drinking alcohol. That’s what using AVRT after making the Big Plan means. And that death is certain to be delayed because I never drink.
Knowing there was no wrench in the plans, no excuses made for misery, grief, feelings of failure, weight gain, celebratory occasions, etc made things very simple. Very difficult but VERY simple.
The strategy of giving yourself temporary sobriety hoping it turns permanent does not work for me because my beast happily waits months. It's waited up to four months in the past. Twiddling its thumbs. Waiting to pounce.
This way even though I don't quite have a year I am relaxed about knowing I will always remain sober because the answer is never "not yet" it is always and has been from day one, "never again."
Maladaptive
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: East coast, USA
Posts: 558
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Glad you are back Shitzu. When you say your head is in the right place, what exactly do you mean?
I had that for a long time until April 27, but every day, the past few weeks, I woke up and knew I would drink. There was no debating it.
Now there is no debating it the other way. I am content and at peace with my decision not to drink.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,934
As hard as it is to quit once, it seems even harder to quit again after that.
What Dee said is absolutely true!
I drank after 5 1/2 years of sobriety. Then it took me a year of on again, off again drinking to finally get sober again. It was very tough time and I came pretty close to losing a lot of things I value in life.
I would suggest an AA meeting, trying to do this by yourself is incredibly difficult.
What Dee said is absolutely true!
I drank after 5 1/2 years of sobriety. Then it took me a year of on again, off again drinking to finally get sober again. It was very tough time and I came pretty close to losing a lot of things I value in life.
I would suggest an AA meeting, trying to do this by yourself is incredibly difficult.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 561
I drank at 11 months
...and I didn't let it turn into a full blown relapse which I normally do) - so glad we are both back! I'm not allowing myself to beat myself up because that leads to toxic shame and more drinking. Folks on here have really helped me to see that I haven't lost the 11 months of progress.
The 2 nights I drank this week really sucked actually. I want sobriety more than I want to drink.
I'm glad you posted - it helps me not feel so alone!
The 2 nights I drank this week really sucked actually. I want sobriety more than I want to drink.
I'm glad you posted - it helps me not feel so alone!
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