My guide to moderation
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by lessgravity 
A big thank you to everyone who commented here.
It means more so much to me to know this post might have given some people on SR any value in their sobriety. This site has been essential to my finally crossing the bridge to a fully sober life and I'm deeply honored to be able to give back in any way.
It means more so much to me to know this post might have given some people on SR any value in their sobriety. This site has been essential to my finally crossing the bridge to a fully sober life and I'm deeply honored to be able to give back in any way.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 2,428
Originally Posted by lessgravity
A big thank you to everyone who commented here.
It was really helpful for me personally to go through this writing experiment - I wanted to be brutally honest with myself about what it would mean to keep drinking alcohol. Moderation, full blown drunk, whatever you might call it.
It means more so much to me to know this post might have given some people on SR any value in their sobriety. This site has been essential to my finally crossing the bridge to a fully sober life and I'm deeply honored to be able to give back in any way.
It was really helpful for me personally to go through this writing experiment - I wanted to be brutally honest with myself about what it would mean to keep drinking alcohol. Moderation, full blown drunk, whatever you might call it.
It means more so much to me to know this post might have given some people on SR any value in their sobriety. This site has been essential to my finally crossing the bridge to a fully sober life and I'm deeply honored to be able to give back in any way.
I have a number of addictions, it is just as relevant to all of them as my alcohol addiction.
Many thanks for the work you put in.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I missed this the first time you posted it. Brilliant.
When in rehab one of the crucial things I said in a meeting, both to myself and to a number of people listening, was "I'm sick of negotiating with alcohol." All of what you posted is what I meant by negotiation. It all seemed to take so much energy, and when you actually look at it, indicates that there is absolutely nothing positive about drinking.
If you are an alcoholic, the only way to stop negotiating with alcohol is to stop drinking, completely and forever.
When in rehab one of the crucial things I said in a meeting, both to myself and to a number of people listening, was "I'm sick of negotiating with alcohol." All of what you posted is what I meant by negotiation. It all seemed to take so much energy, and when you actually look at it, indicates that there is absolutely nothing positive about drinking.
If you are an alcoholic, the only way to stop negotiating with alcohol is to stop drinking, completely and forever.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
I missed this the first time you posted it. Brilliant.
When in rehab one of the crucial things I said in a meeting, both to myself and to a number of people listening, was "I'm sick of negotiating with alcohol." All of what you posted is what I meant by negotiation. It all seemed to take so much energy, and when you actually look at it, indicates that there is absolutely nothing positive about drinking.
If you are an alcoholic, the only way to stop negotiating with alcohol is to stop drinking, completely and forever.
When in rehab one of the crucial things I said in a meeting, both to myself and to a number of people listening, was "I'm sick of negotiating with alcohol." All of what you posted is what I meant by negotiation. It all seemed to take so much energy, and when you actually look at it, indicates that there is absolutely nothing positive about drinking.
If you are an alcoholic, the only way to stop negotiating with alcohol is to stop drinking, completely and forever.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I also think that most people are "normal" drinkers because they rarely, if ever, negotiate with alcohol. They have a drink or two at a function or split a nice bottle of wine with an amazing dinner every once in a while and really don't think much about drinking at all. They might even get hammered at a bachelor party...but they have a normal hangover instead of shaky horrible withdrawal and don't do that again for months, years or ever.
It doesn't control them at all, and they don't have to control their drinking at all.
It continues to amaze me how the majority of people are like this instead of like us alkies. When we drank we thought EVERYONE was a huge drinker, that drink was the focus of every gathering to everyone. No, that's not the case at all.
It doesn't control them at all, and they don't have to control their drinking at all.
It continues to amaze me how the majority of people are like this instead of like us alkies. When we drank we thought EVERYONE was a huge drinker, that drink was the focus of every gathering to everyone. No, that's not the case at all.
Redmayne
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Personally speaking ....
Personally speaking, in my 'drinking days' I found that I when speaking, should never move my lips at all and then if needs must, only in moderation simply to order another drink or borrow money from someone to buy some more...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
I also think that most people are "normal" drinkers because they rarely, if ever, negotiate with alcohol. They have a drink or two at a function or split a nice bottle of wine with an amazing dinner every once in a while and really don't think much about drinking at all. They might even get hammered at a bachelor party...but they have a normal hangover instead of shaky horrible withdrawal and don't do that again for months, years or ever.
It doesn't control them at all, and they don't have to control their drinking at all.
It continues to amaze me how the majority of people are like this instead of like us alkies. When we drank we thought EVERYONE was a huge drinker, that drink was the focus of every gathering to everyone. No, that's not the case at all.
It doesn't control them at all, and they don't have to control their drinking at all.
It continues to amaze me how the majority of people are like this instead of like us alkies. When we drank we thought EVERYONE was a huge drinker, that drink was the focus of every gathering to everyone. No, that's not the case at all.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Awesome post lessgravity! Man, it's been a few years since I was caught in that shitstorm, but that post is pretty much spot on. I've tried a few times to explain the insanity of it all and the vicious cycle, your post does a really good job of providing that explanation. For me, it was the lies to myself that served as the engine for everything else to zip along. I'm still stunned that I could convince myself for so long that I had it all under control. Anyway, really, really great post. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Illinois
Posts: 71
Amazing! God - thank you for that reminder. I’ve been a few years sober now and reading this reminded me of all the stuff I do not ever want to go back to. Those 3 AM wake ups were the worst. Anxiety and all.
Until I started keeping enough booze on hand to level me out through those...
Oh God...what hell it was.
Until I started keeping enough booze on hand to level me out through those...
Oh God...what hell it was.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,335
LG,
As i posted in a reply on the other thread that is resurfacing/bumped along the same subject matter, you absolutely accurately describe our struggles!
I want to thank you so very much for posting this, from the very bottom of my very empty and Dusty wine glass !
As i posted in a reply on the other thread that is resurfacing/bumped along the same subject matter, you absolutely accurately describe our struggles!
I want to thank you so very much for posting this, from the very bottom of my very empty and Dusty wine glass !
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