Planning and Plotting. Lying and Dying. A week in the life of a drinking housewife.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: North Yorkshire UK
Posts: 765
Ive thought about your post such a lot today after reading it last night. I woke up on the 4th January and said "Enough". Im 52. My drinking had steadily got worse over the last 18 years until i was easily drinking 2 bottles of wine every night and even sometimes opening a 3rd. Ive drunk through my kids teenage years and ive driven the car to the shop to buy more wine *********. Ive spent many nights having sex with random men ive met on internet dating sites again pissed. Some, many, i wouldnt have slept with had i been sober. Most i wouldnt have even got to a date had i been sober. Ive made random calls/texts to family friends whilst 2 sheets to the wind, ive fallen over and hurt myself, ive wasted days and days and days and days of my life too hungover to function but pretending to be top of the world. Ive put my liver through hell and got fat and out of shape. Ive spent a fortune on killing myself, lying and everything else that comes with booze. So here we go. Stopping drinking is like divorcing the person you love the most. Or saying you will never have contact with your kids again. Imagine that? Imagine someone saying the only way to get a good outcome is to never EVER have contact with this person again. Cruel to be kind and all that. But they text, and they phone, and they send letters and persuasive emails. And they get their friend to phone. And they wink from another table at you when you happen to be in the same reataurant. And you have to say no. And you have to keep on saying no. Again and again and again. It takes time. Initially they come at you like big waves and you feel you can hardly stand up. Its overwhelming and youre not sure you can cope. And you log into here (im not an AA girl by the way) and someone here throws you a line. And you hold onto that line really tight and maybe some days you need a few lines throwing and a life vest but thats what we are here for.. And then the days turn into weeks and you find the waves get less, maybe more spaced out and you notice that you can think better. There is a clarity that makes you feel alive and present. You can start to see that youve been possesed by something that you do not have any control over and the one thing alcohol does it takes away your right to decide. You dont decide to get in the car and drive. It does. (spellchecker put "it dies". Nice twist). You dont decide to keep throwing it down your neck once youve had one...it decides. So listen honey. Take back control. You decide with all of us right there beside you that this is it. Time for a divorce. And when that beast comes knocking...you check in with us.
I wish you all the very very best. Youre not alone. We get what youre going through. And i promise, with my hand on my heart, life is so much better when youre sober. Hold onto that. Xxx
I wish you all the very very best. Youre not alone. We get what youre going through. And i promise, with my hand on my heart, life is so much better when youre sober. Hold onto that. Xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Originally Posted by BrandNewDay11 
Right now my plan is this:
Check in every day on this forum, read and comment on at least 1 post, and sign up for the daily sobriety pledge
Journal every day
Utilize techniques from The 30 Day Sobriety Solution book, which is a book that I relate to on many levels.
I'm not sure if that is enough. What more can I do? AA meetings are not for me.
Check in every day on this forum, read and comment on at least 1 post, and sign up for the daily sobriety pledge
Journal every day
Utilize techniques from The 30 Day Sobriety Solution book, which is a book that I relate to on many levels.
I'm not sure if that is enough. What more can I do? AA meetings are not for me.
Think about what has helped before and when you get through a bad day or night thanks to...whatever, add it to your list.
It could be small things:
Drink a pint of water
Eat
Cry
Have a hot shower
Post on SR asking for permission to drink (I'd be surprised if you get it!)
Scrub your bathroom clean
Eat again
More water
Go to bed early
Walk outside for 20 minutes (without any money)
Watched documentaries on advanced alcoholism (lots on YouTube)
Play the tape forward
Meditate (YouTube is good here too)
Binge watch Netflix
Do a jigsaw
Read a good murder mystery
Have a pamper evening (plucking is a great distraction!)
Ask for help here
etc etc etc
Remember that you have a lying deceitful addiction inside you which is not to be trusted. I had myself under house arrest on Friday evenings for a good 3 months. Ensuring I had a full fridge and everything I needed so I was safe.
Another little tip for your journal is to include something you are grateful for each day. Even if it is "I am still alive" for a while.
You're doing great don't stop now!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Originally Posted by soberista
Ive thought about your post such a lot today after reading it last night. I woke up on the 4th January and said "Enough". Im 52. My drinking had steadily got worse over the last 18 years until i was easily drinking 2 bottles of wine every night and even sometimes opening a 3rd. Ive drunk through my kids teenage years and ive driven the car to the shop to buy more wine *********. Ive spent many nights having sex with random men ive met on internet dating sites again pissed. Some, many, i wouldnt have slept with had i been sober. Most i wouldnt have even got to a date had i been sober. Ive made random calls/texts to family friends whilst 2 sheets to the wind, ive fallen over and hurt myself, ive wasted days and days and days and days of my life too hungover to function but pretending to be top of the world. Ive put my liver through hell and got fat and out of shape. Ive spent a fortune on killing myself, lying and everything else that comes with booze. So here we go. Stopping drinking is like divorcing the person you love the most. Or saying you will never have contact with your kids again. Imagine that? Imagine someone saying the only way to get a good outcome is to never EVER have contact with this person again. Cruel to be kind and all that. But they text, and they phone, and they send letters and persuasive emails. And they get their friend to phone. And they wink from another table at you when you happen to be in the same reataurant. And you have to say no. And you have to keep on saying no. Again and again and again. It takes time. Initially they come at you like big waves and you feel you can hardly stand up. Its overwhelming and youre not sure you can cope. And you log into here (im not an AA girl by the way) and someone here throws you a line. And you hold onto that line really tight and maybe some days you need a few lines throwing and a life vest but thats what we are here for.. And then the days turn into weeks and you find the waves get less, maybe more spaced out and you notice that you can think better. There is a clarity that makes you feel alive and present. You can start to see that youve been possesed by something that you do not have any control over and the one thing alcohol does it takes away your right to decide. You dont decide to get in the car and drive. It does. (spellchecker put "it dies". Nice twist). You dont decide to keep throwing it down your neck once youve had one...it decides. So listen honey. Take back control. You decide with all of us right there beside you that this is it. Time for a divorce. And when that beast comes knocking...you check in with us.
I wish you all the very very best. Youre not alone. We get what youre going through. And i promise, with my hand on my heart, life is so much better when youre sober. Hold onto that. Xxx
I wish you all the very very best. Youre not alone. We get what youre going through. And i promise, with my hand on my heart, life is so much better when youre sober. Hold onto that. Xxx
Soberista
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by BrandNewDay11
ed 30 Day as well.
Have you read Rational Recovery?
I like AA meetings here and there, generally not for me either.
Have you read Rational Recovery?
I like AA meetings here and there, generally not for me either.
The 30 Day SS is a really good fit for me. I did the 30 days of abstinence last year, chose to drink right after for a 4th of July party , went back to abstinence until the next party, and in summer there are plenty of parties so, you guessed it. By the end of the summer I was back to every other day drinking again.
That's when I knew I 100%, for sure, that I couldn't moderate. And here I am...4 days sober. And honestly the fact that summer is coming again is scare to me I do enjoy the open sharing at AA meetings, I'm just not a 12 stepper and never will be.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Originally Posted by soberista
Ive thought about your post such a lot today after reading it last night. I woke up on the 4th January and said "Enough". Im 52. My drinking had steadily got worse over the last 18 years until i was easily drinking 2 bottles of wine every night and even sometimes opening a 3rd. Ive drunk through my kids teenage years and ive driven the car to the shop to buy more wine *********. Ive spent many nights having sex with random men ive met on internet dating sites again pissed. Some, many, i wouldnt have slept with had i been sober. Most i wouldnt have even got to a date had i been sober. Ive made random calls/texts to family friends whilst 2 sheets to the wind, ive fallen over and hurt myself, ive wasted days and days and days and days of my life too hungover to function but pretending to be top of the world. Ive put my liver through hell and got fat and out of shape. Ive spent a fortune on killing myself, lying and everything else that comes with booze. So here we go. Stopping drinking is like divorcing the person you love the most. Or saying you will never have contact with your kids again. Imagine that? Imagine someone saying the only way to get a good outcome is to never EVER have contact with this person again. Cruel to be kind and all that. But they text, and they phone, and they send letters and persuasive emails. And they get their friend to phone. And they wink from another table at you when you happen to be in the same reataurant. And you have to say no. And you have to keep on saying no. Again and again and again. It takes time. Initially they come at you like big waves and you feel you can hardly stand up. Its overwhelming and youre not sure you can cope. And you log into here (im not an AA girl by the way) and someone here throws you a line. And you hold onto that line really tight and maybe some days you need a few lines throwing and a life vest but thats what we are here for.. And then the days turn into weeks and you find the waves get less, maybe more spaced out and you notice that you can think better. There is a clarity that makes you feel alive and present. You can start to see that youve been possesed by something that you do not have any control over and the one thing alcohol does it takes away your right to decide. You dont decide to get in the car and drive. It does. (spellchecker put "it dies". Nice twist). You dont decide to keep throwing it down your neck once youve had one...it decides. So listen honey. Take back control. You decide with all of us right there beside you that this is it. Time for a divorce. And when that beast comes knocking...you check in with us.
I wish you all the very very best. Youre not alone. We get what youre going through. And i promise, with my hand on my heart, life is so much better when youre sober. Hold onto that. Xxx
I wish you all the very very best. Youre not alone. We get what youre going through. And i promise, with my hand on my heart, life is so much better when youre sober. Hold onto that. Xxx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
BND,
I get it that ‘forever’ is too long for some folks, so I see the value of a limited challenge. The only problem is that 30days is too short: You get all the downsides (withdrawals, alcohol cravings, sugar cravings, anxiety, sleepnessness), but none of the benefits that tend to manifest themselves longterm.
Instead of 30 days, make it a 100 days, and you’ll see that this will be enough to ‘get you to the other side’. You won’t be done by any means, but your brain will be rewiring by then and with every day your chances will get better and better. All the best, go for it!
I get it that ‘forever’ is too long for some folks, so I see the value of a limited challenge. The only problem is that 30days is too short: You get all the downsides (withdrawals, alcohol cravings, sugar cravings, anxiety, sleepnessness), but none of the benefits that tend to manifest themselves longterm.
Instead of 30 days, make it a 100 days, and you’ll see that this will be enough to ‘get you to the other side’. You won’t be done by any means, but your brain will be rewiring by then and with every day your chances will get better and better. All the best, go for it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by soberista
Ive thought about your post such a lot today after reading it last night. I woke up on the 4th January and said "Enough". Im 52. My drinking had steadily got worse over the last 18 years until i was easily drinking 2 bottles of wine every night and even sometimes opening a 3rd. Ive drunk through my kids teenage years and ive driven the car to the shop to buy more wine *********. Ive spent many nights having sex with random men ive met on internet dating sites again pissed. Some, many, i wouldnt have slept with had i been sober. Most i wouldnt have even got to a date had i been sober. Ive made random calls/texts to family friends whilst 2 sheets to the wind, ive fallen over and hurt myself, ive wasted days and days and days and days of my life too hungover to function but pretending to be top of the world. Ive put my liver through hell and got fat and out of shape. Ive spent a fortune on killing myself, lying and everything else that comes with booze. So here we go. Stopping drinking is like divorcing the person you love the most. Or saying you will never have contact with your kids again. Imagine that? Imagine someone saying the only way to get a good outcome is to never EVER have contact with this person again. Cruel to be kind and all that. But they text, and they phone, and they send letters and persuasive emails. And they get their friend to phone. And they wink from another table at you when you happen to be in the same reataurant. And you have to say no. And you have to keep on saying no. Again and again and again. It takes time. Initially they come at you like big waves and you feel you can hardly stand up. Its overwhelming and youre not sure you can cope. And you log into here (im not an AA girl by the way) and someone here throws you a line. And you hold onto that line really tight and maybe some days you need a few lines throwing and a life vest but thats what we are here for.. And then the days turn into weeks and you find the waves get less, maybe more spaced out and you notice that you can think better. There is a clarity that makes you feel alive and present. You can start to see that youve been possesed by something that you do not have any control over and the one thing alcohol does it takes away your right to decide. You dont decide to get in the car and drive. It does. (spellchecker put "it dies". Nice twist). You dont decide to keep throwing it down your neck once youve had one...it decides. So listen honey. Take back control. You decide with all of us right there beside you that this is it. Time for a divorce. And when that beast comes knocking...you check in with us.
I wish you all the very very best. Youre not alone. We get what youre going through. And i promise, with my hand on my heart, life is so much better when youre sober. Hold onto that. Xxx
I wish you all the very very best. Youre not alone. We get what youre going through. And i promise, with my hand on my heart, life is so much better when youre sober. Hold onto that. Xxx
You know its truly mind boggling when you really consider the cumulative pain that drinking has caused us. I tend to remember the negative incidences separately, like little unrelated islands, probably because the reality that they are actually ALL direct results of drinking is too much for my psyche to admit all at once. And of course we push down and pretend to forget the painful realities of our drinking as much as we can.
When you said you've fallen down and hurt yourself while drinking I thought about how many times that's happened to me.
Just 2 weeks ago I burned my right ring finger while cooking drunk (I have no idea how, I woke up on the couch that night feeling the pain and saw the huge blister). Another time recently I went outside in the rain to hide empty beer bottles in the trash with only socks on my feet. My socks of course got wet and caused me to slip straight across the vinyl floor into the corner of the doorframe to the basement. It actually impacted my boob and left a huge, painful bruise (but the good thing is the basement door was closed, had it been opened I could be dead). Last summer while going into the house from the yard (for more beer of course) I managed to close my finger in the door, ripping many layers of flesh off. A few years ago while eating dinner drunk I reached over to get some napkins and fell backwards off the counter height chair, injuring my foot so badly I was in a walker boot for 2 weeks. I needed an MRI and everything, it was a high grade bone contusion.
The list goes on and on.
Thank you for your inspiration and encouragement! Right now my biggest fear is how I will handle family parties without drinking. I can imagine it happening but what I can't imagine is actually enjoying it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by joandmelandhan
BrandNewDay that all does sound good but what I would add is preparation for times when you are vulnerable. You know when they are. For me it was when my girls visited their dad on a Friday night.
Think about what has helped before and when you get through a bad day or night thanks to...whatever, add it to your list.
It could be small things:
Drink a pint of water
Eat
Cry
Have a hot shower
Post on SR asking for permission to drink (I'd be surprised if you get it!)
Scrub your bathroom clean
Eat again
More water
Go to bed early
Walk outside for 20 minutes (without any money)
Watched documentaries on advanced alcoholism (lots on YouTube)
Play the tape forward
Meditate (YouTube is good here too)
Binge watch Netflix
Do a jigsaw
Read a good murder mystery
Have a pamper evening (plucking is a great distraction!)
Ask for help here
etc etc etc
Remember that you have a lying deceitful addiction inside you which is not to be trusted. I had myself under house arrest on Friday evenings for a good 3 months. Ensuring I had a full fridge and everything I needed so I was safe.
Another little tip for your journal is to include something you are grateful for each day. Even if it is "I am still alive" for a while.
You're doing great don't stop now!
Think about what has helped before and when you get through a bad day or night thanks to...whatever, add it to your list.
It could be small things:
Drink a pint of water
Eat
Cry
Have a hot shower
Post on SR asking for permission to drink (I'd be surprised if you get it!)
Scrub your bathroom clean
Eat again
More water
Go to bed early
Walk outside for 20 minutes (without any money)
Watched documentaries on advanced alcoholism (lots on YouTube)
Play the tape forward
Meditate (YouTube is good here too)
Binge watch Netflix
Do a jigsaw
Read a good murder mystery
Have a pamper evening (plucking is a great distraction!)
Ask for help here
etc etc etc
Remember that you have a lying deceitful addiction inside you which is not to be trusted. I had myself under house arrest on Friday evenings for a good 3 months. Ensuring I had a full fridge and everything I needed so I was safe.
Another little tip for your journal is to include something you are grateful for each day. Even if it is "I am still alive" for a while.
You're doing great don't stop now!
I have to admit...I am planning to have a family party the end of this month to celebrate my son's birthday as well as Memorial Day, and the thought of not drinking at this party is REALLY difficult for me. It's a perfect storm of triggers: My family, my mother in law, barbecue, a special event and almost everyone else drinking (in moderation, no one in my family drinks like me, except a cousin whon I probably won't invite). The thought even occurred to me that maybe I could drink "just for that party".
I don't know how I'll get through it without drinking but I desperately want to!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by Mac4711
BND,
I get it that ‘forever’ is too long for some folks, so I see the value of a limited challenge. The only problem is that 30days is too short: You get all the downsides (withdrawals, alcohol cravings, sugar cravings, anxiety, sleepnessness), but none of the benefits that tend to manifest themselves longterm.
Instead of 30 days, make it a 100 days, and you’ll see that this will be enough to ‘get you to the other side’. You won’t be done by any means, but your brain will be rewiring by then and with every day your chances will get better and better. All the best, go for it!
I get it that ‘forever’ is too long for some folks, so I see the value of a limited challenge. The only problem is that 30days is too short: You get all the downsides (withdrawals, alcohol cravings, sugar cravings, anxiety, sleepnessness), but none of the benefits that tend to manifest themselves longterm.
Instead of 30 days, make it a 100 days, and you’ll see that this will be enough to ‘get you to the other side’. You won’t be done by any means, but your brain will be rewiring by then and with every day your chances will get better and better. All the best, go for it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by NulaMeansZero
Also throw in some outside exercise, call me crazy but even just walking around , SOBER with a clear head. Get the blood flowing , maybe after dinner or early afternoon. Just a nice 30 minute excursion so you can reflect on how amazing everything is being sober.........
Breaking a sweat does wonders....
Breaking a sweat does wonders....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: North Yorkshire UK
Posts: 765
"I am planning to have a family party the end of this month to celebrate my son's birthday as well as Memorial Day, and the thought of not drinking at this party is REALLY difficult for me. It's a perfect storm of triggers: "
You are planning. Stop there. Now youre NOT planning. Youre divorced AV is planning like a motherf**ker. The fact you have highlighted REALLY would suggest to me the beast is getting ready to strike. Personally i think you should not plan this party. Youre not ready to cope with saying no with all the pressure around you. Why not plan a trip to a fun park. Something different that can be a celebration but without inviting a potential unwanted guest? So early on in sobriety you need a strategy for this..Xx
You are planning. Stop there. Now youre NOT planning. Youre divorced AV is planning like a motherf**ker. The fact you have highlighted REALLY would suggest to me the beast is getting ready to strike. Personally i think you should not plan this party. Youre not ready to cope with saying no with all the pressure around you. Why not plan a trip to a fun park. Something different that can be a celebration but without inviting a potential unwanted guest? So early on in sobriety you need a strategy for this..Xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by soberista
You are planning. Stop there. Now youre NOT planning. Youre divorced AV is planning like a motherf**ker. The fact you have highlighted REALLY would suggest to me the beast is getting ready to strike. Personally i think you should not plan this party. Youre not ready to cope with saying no with all the pressure around you. Why not plan a trip to a fun park. Something different that can be a celebration but without inviting a potential unwanted guest? So early on in sobriety you need a strategy for this..Xx
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by soberista
"I am planning to have a family party the end of this month to celebrate my son's birthday as well as Memorial Day, and the thought of not drinking at this party is REALLY difficult for me. It's a perfect storm of triggers: "
You are planning. Stop there. Now youre NOT planning. Youre divorced AV is planning like a motherf**ker. The fact you have highlighted REALLY would suggest to me the beast is getting ready to strike. Personally i think you should not plan this party. Youre not ready to cope with saying no with all the pressure around you. Why not plan a trip to a fun park. Something different that can be a celebration but without inviting a potential unwanted guest? So early on in sobriety you need a strategy for this..Xx
You are planning. Stop there. Now youre NOT planning. Youre divorced AV is planning like a motherf**ker. The fact you have highlighted REALLY would suggest to me the beast is getting ready to strike. Personally i think you should not plan this party. Youre not ready to cope with saying no with all the pressure around you. Why not plan a trip to a fun park. Something different that can be a celebration but without inviting a potential unwanted guest? So early on in sobriety you need a strategy for this..Xx
On the other hand you are actually planning to drink at your son's birthday party. Do you see the sad irony in that?
For anyone, everyone, especially your son and family, staying sober is the right thing to do.
So much of this not drinking is growing up, however old each of us might be. It's just not the right thing to do, to get drunk at your son's birthday party. It's a childish, selfish thing to do.
I know you know this, I'm not trying to be harsh. These are facts I've come to realize and confront my own behavior with, as a father.
Our kids deserve more.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
I agree with Soberista: SOMEONE is certainly planning on having a party, lol! BND, nothing changes if nothing changes. Do whatever you can to protect your fledgling sobriety - I know we’re always complaining that now ‘it’s no longer fun’. But the sad truth is, it hasn’t been about fun for a long while, but about getting hammered, harming ourselves and our families.
When you think about it, this is just more ‘planning and plotting’.
When you think about it, this is just more ‘planning and plotting’.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by lessgravity
On the other hand you are actually planning to drink at your son's birthday party. Do you see the sad irony in that?
For anyone, everyone, especially your son and family, staying sober is the right thing to do.
So much of this not drinking is growing up, however old each of us might be. It's just not the right thing to do, to get drunk at your son's birthday party. It's a childish, selfish thing to do.
I know you know this, I'm not trying to be harsh. These are facts I've come to realize and confront my own behavior with, as a father.
Our kids deserve more.
For anyone, everyone, especially your son and family, staying sober is the right thing to do.
So much of this not drinking is growing up, however old each of us might be. It's just not the right thing to do, to get drunk at your son's birthday party. It's a childish, selfish thing to do.
I know you know this, I'm not trying to be harsh. These are facts I've come to realize and confront my own behavior with, as a father.
Our kids deserve more.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by Mac4711
I agree with Soberista: SOMEONE is certainly planning on having a party, lol! BND, nothing changes if nothing changes. Do whatever you can to protect your fledgling sobriety - I know we’re always complaining that now ‘it’s no longer fun’. But the sad truth is, it hasn’t been about fun for a long while, but about getting hammered, harming ourselves and our families.
When you think about it, this is just more ‘planning and plotting’.
When you think about it, this is just more ‘planning and plotting’.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by soberista
"I am planning to have a family party the end of this month to celebrate my son's birthday as well as Memorial Day, and the thought of not drinking at this party is REALLY difficult for me. It's a perfect storm of triggers: "
You are planning. Stop there. Now youre NOT planning. Youre divorced AV is planning like a motherf**ker. The fact you have highlighted REALLY would suggest to me the beast is getting ready to strike. Personally i think you should not plan this party. Youre not ready to cope with saying no with all the pressure around you. Why not plan a trip to a fun park. Something different that can be a celebration but without inviting a potential unwanted guest? So early on in sobriety you need a strategy for this..Xx
You are planning. Stop there. Now youre NOT planning. Youre divorced AV is planning like a motherf**ker. The fact you have highlighted REALLY would suggest to me the beast is getting ready to strike. Personally i think you should not plan this party. Youre not ready to cope with saying no with all the pressure around you. Why not plan a trip to a fun park. Something different that can be a celebration but without inviting a potential unwanted guest? So early on in sobriety you need a strategy for this..Xx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Originally Posted by BrandNewDay11
I just wanted to let you know, as the day went on and the support from this post sunk in I realized how incredibly stupid it would be to even consider drinking at this party the end of the month. That indeed was the beast getting ready to strike as you said! And telling me there was no way I could get through a party without drinking. But I CAN and I WILL! And I will have a well drawn out plan ahead of time of how I will handle any cravings. Thank you all for the support, I am so grateful and humbled.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by BrandNewDay11
I agree 100 days is better. I am a little nervous about committing to that though. 
I found after a year I no longer have any interest in resuming drinking as the life I now lead is too precious, with so many issues resolved, to want to go back into drinking mode again.
Like many, I found it difficult to contemplate "never again", but another year feels peesy and good.
All the best to you!
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Location: SoCAL
Posts: 152
Originally Posted by BrandNewDay11
These are awesome suggestions and SO appreciated! My normal trigger times are in that time between the kid coming home and me preparing dinner, and at family parties.
I have to admit...I am planning to have a family party the end of this month to celebrate my son's birthday as well as Memorial Day, and the thought of not drinking at this party is REALLY difficult for me. It's a perfect storm of triggers: My family, my mother in law, barbecue, a special event and almost everyone else drinking (in moderation, no one in my family drinks like me, except a cousin whon I probably won't invite). The thought even occurred to me that maybe I could drink "just for that party". I don't know how I'll get through it without drinking but I desperately want to!
I have to admit...I am planning to have a family party the end of this month to celebrate my son's birthday as well as Memorial Day, and the thought of not drinking at this party is REALLY difficult for me. It's a perfect storm of triggers: My family, my mother in law, barbecue, a special event and almost everyone else drinking (in moderation, no one in my family drinks like me, except a cousin whon I probably won't invite). The thought even occurred to me that maybe I could drink "just for that party".
I don't know how I'll get through it without drinking but I desperately want to!You got a major problem my dear....
Here's the honest truth, if you think that you've been doing a good job hiding your drinking your mistaken. Everyone know in your circle, Guaranteed your spouse knows he just doesnt say anything , sad fact is that even your teenagers know......that alone should fuel your fire.........(When I quit my wife broke down and said that she knew I had a problem as well)
Giving you small pats on the back isnt going to change anything, time to get tough on yourself, GET MAD!!!!
I dont know you , and I 100% do not mean to be a jerk in anyway, but the only way your going to succeed is by being strict and removing alcohol from YOUR LIFE!!!
FACT: If you think that you can have a few drinks your mistaken.
FACT#2---If you Choose Sobriety , YOU CHOOSE LIFE!!
A amazing life filled with more joy you have ever known, you'll have so much time on your hands you will not know what to do with it! Everything changes when you choose sobriety, everything.........
Please dont drink ..........
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