Binge drinking - 25 weeks pregnant
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 27
Binge drinking - 25 weeks pregnant
I’ve had a problem with alcohol for about 5 years. I found out I was 7 weeks pregnant in December. For the first couple of months I obstained from alcohol but in the last few months I have slipped a couple times and had 4-5 glasses of wine on one occasion.
I feel terrible, like I want to die. I have so much guilt it’s hard to look my husband in the eye.
He doesn’t know but if he ever found out he would leave me. He knows I’ve had a problem and left me in the past but came back to work on things when we found out I was pregnant.
Yesterday I drank while he was at work and I feel disgusting. I just keep praying and hope my baby is ok. I feel terrible.
As of now all of his ultrasounds and my blood work has come back normal but I’m so afraid I’ve caused new damage.
Does anyone have any advise/ stories?
I’m desperate.
I feel terrible, like I want to die. I have so much guilt it’s hard to look my husband in the eye.
He doesn’t know but if he ever found out he would leave me. He knows I’ve had a problem and left me in the past but came back to work on things when we found out I was pregnant.
Yesterday I drank while he was at work and I feel disgusting. I just keep praying and hope my baby is ok. I feel terrible.
As of now all of his ultrasounds and my blood work has come back normal but I’m so afraid I’ve caused new damage.
Does anyone have any advise/ stories?
I’m desperate.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
we're very glad youre here, E.
it reads like to honestly and sincerely want to stop drinking and thats great! theres a lot of support here. it would be very wise to look into local support,too- recovery programs such as AA,celebrate recovery,SMART and/or one on one therapy,too.
it reads like to honestly and sincerely want to stop drinking and thats great! theres a lot of support here. it would be very wise to look into local support,too- recovery programs such as AA,celebrate recovery,SMART and/or one on one therapy,too.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR E1234. My advice would be to take that desparation and focus it entirely on your drinking problem. You cannot change what you've done of course, but you can change what you do today. Admitting you need help here is a great first step, I would also suggest you seek help locally- whether that's via a support group, your doctor, wherever you can find help.
Shame and guilt will not help anyone at this point - and to be quite frank, it's not just your life you are responsible for protecting right now either.
I'd recommend against trying to find stories on the internet about drinking and pregnancy too - there's zero question that it's not a good idea, so focus on making sure it never happens again. Reading horror stories or trying to diagnose whether or not your drinking may have done damage or not will only cause you more grief.
Shame and guilt will not help anyone at this point - and to be quite frank, it's not just your life you are responsible for protecting right now either.
I'd recommend against trying to find stories on the internet about drinking and pregnancy too - there's zero question that it's not a good idea, so focus on making sure it never happens again. Reading horror stories or trying to diagnose whether or not your drinking may have done damage or not will only cause you more grief.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
Welcome to SR E1234. My advice would be to take that desparation and focus it entirely on your drinking problem. You cannot change what you've done of course, but you can change what you do today. Admitting you need help here is a great first step, I would also suggest you seek help locally- whether that's via a support group, your doctor, wherever you can find help.
Shame and guilt will not help anyone at this point - and to be quite frank, it's not just your life you are responsible for protecting right now either.
I'd recommend against trying to find stories on the internet about drinking and pregnancy too - there's zero question that it's not a good idea, so focus on making sure it never happens again. Reading horror stories or trying to diagnose whether or not your drinking may have done damage or not will only cause you more grief.
Shame and guilt will not help anyone at this point - and to be quite frank, it's not just your life you are responsible for protecting right now either.
I'd recommend against trying to find stories on the internet about drinking and pregnancy too - there's zero question that it's not a good idea, so focus on making sure it never happens again. Reading horror stories or trying to diagnose whether or not your drinking may have done damage or not will only cause you more grief.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by tomsteve
we're very glad youre here, E.
it reads like to honestly and sincerely want to stop drinking and thats great! theres a lot of support here. it would be very wise to look into local support,too- recovery programs such as AA,celebrate recovery,SMART and/or one on one therapy,too.
it reads like to honestly and sincerely want to stop drinking and thats great! theres a lot of support here. it would be very wise to look into local support,too- recovery programs such as AA,celebrate recovery,SMART and/or one on one therapy,too.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by E1234
Thank you so much for your response. I agree. I’m trying to decide weather or not to tell my doctor. I’m sure nothing can be done to fix what has already happened. So I’m not sure if it’s worth the risk of judgement / my husband finding out. Just trying to pray. Thanks again
If you feel that you will be able to stop drinking completely and stay stopped without telling anyone else, then that's probably fine. But if the problem becomes one that you cannot control on your own, you likely need to come clean.
I personally don't feel there's any possible way I could have gotten sober without telling my wife and admitting my problem, but that's me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by E1234
Just trying to pray. Thanks again
dont forget to listen for what to do.
who knows- maybe God is speaking through us here.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,465
Welcome, and I'm glad you posted.
I really hope that you tell your dr the truth. This is about your unborn child and I hope that you can let go of your shame and do what is the right thing for your baby.
Following is the information we have on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...pregnancy.html
I really hope that you tell your dr the truth. This is about your unborn child and I hope that you can let go of your shame and do what is the right thing for your baby.
Following is the information we have on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...pregnancy.html
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by DarklingSong
Welcome to SR. You will find lots of support and advice to quit drinking here. Please don't torture yourself any further. You are doing the right thing now.
Support to you.
Support to you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by Dropsie
You cannot know of course, but if you stop now the baby will probably be OK.
Talk to your doctor, etc, but dont let the guilt give you an excuse to drink.
Please. Dont.
For you. For the baby. Please.
Talk to your doctor, etc, but dont let the guilt give you an excuse to drink.
Please. Dont.
For you. For the baby. Please.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
I agree with the others. What is done is done, now just do everything you can to stay off the alcohol for the baby's sake and for your sake - if you keep drinking then you will only feel more guilt and shame, that would be a downward spiral. See what you can do to take control now, don't let the alcohol control you any longer - see this baby as a positive to change your life, kick alcohol for good and enjoy being a mum.
If you need your doctor's help then I think you should go for it.
We are all here to support you when you need it.
Take care. X
If you need your doctor's help then I think you should go for it.
We are all here to support you when you need it.
Take care. X
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Suggest reading about fetal alcohol syndrome.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
The only thing that is important here is continued sobriety. Do not allow your guilt to cause you to drink again, this is a dose dependent issue. There is a number of drinks that causes significant neurological damage to the baby and it is different for everyone.
There's no way to know if you have caused any damage, but there is a way to protect the child from further damage. let go of the past, refuse to allow yourself to drink again and move forward with sobriety and courage.
Get support. You will need it.
There's no way to know if you have caused any damage, but there is a way to protect the child from further damage. let go of the past, refuse to allow yourself to drink again and move forward with sobriety and courage.
Get support. You will need it.
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