BullDog777

I'm proud of myself because I've found some inner peace and I'm able to logically see things for what they are nowadays.

I remember thinking to myself one time.."People can be just as dangerous as booze or heroin. They can be toxic and horrible and terribly destructive.....but at the same time you can be addicted to them because of the way they make you feel."

I got a little taste of that old feeling tonight. I've only ever thought about settling down with 3 people in my life. One is dead, one I'm married to and the third ran into me on social media about 40 minutes ago. We both joined our high school alum. page at the same time.

I know she was aware that I was there. We were both posting in the same thread.

My head got flooded with adrenaline....It's weird, my knee jerk reaction was anger. Not longing or sadness or even curiousity....it was anger.

Then I think I was sad for a few moments and then it passed.
We never initiated contact...after a few minutes, i bailed.

I asked myself...why is she heroin or booze?

then i spelled it all out in my head. could never trust her....ever. she was worse than booze and heroin...i think i would have met with a much faster demise.

After we broke up i drank myself half dead for 3 years because of it.

it weird how life goes sometimes. She was a 14 on a scale of 1-10 in the looks department. It took me a minute to remember what a horrific pain in the ass she really was.


I might unjoin the group.

Anyway. I'm proud of myself for not getting wrapped around the axle.

Might sound dumb, but for me, that was a HUGE HUGE thing.

MindfulMan

Good for you. Toxic people, particularly in employment or romance, were my strongest reason for not getting sober.

Caveat...did you date in high school and how long ago was that? If you did and it was years ago, there might be some changes.

You also may have used the breakup as an excuse to get drunk.

Or she really is that much of a nasty piece of business and you're far better off without her, despite being a knockout. THAT is so not worth it.

BullDog777

We dated very briefly in high school...then again for about 8 months when i was like 22. I'm 45 now.

An yeah, she really was that much of a nasty piece of business.
Satan was her name, i think? hahahahaha -at least i can laugh about it all now.

Eaglelizard

Bulldog, thank you so much for reminding me not to join my high school alumni association's social media page!

biminiblue

Just don't open the private message that she will eventually send you.

So much crazy on facebook high school pages. It's like we get emotionally sent right back to that time.

Danger, Will Robinson.

Ladysadie

That can be scary. TG you had the cajones to leave it in the past. I'm proud of you. What great integrity you have.

ScottFromWI

Social media and the web in general can be addictive in themselves, and especially when we see people who we connect with on a personal level. Glad you were able to put it behind you and move on.