sunshinelove101

I called my Mom (I have had a couple beers) to tell her I was going to my first AA meeting tomorrow. I was excited about it. She was accepting of it- but at some point in our conversation she said that alcohol has ruined her family- and then she said- what's the point- she will die soon- it was so disappointing to hear that. I'm here trying to do better- she drank all the time when I was young. Now the judgement comes in? I was looking forward to my meeting tmrw- now I'm wondering if I should order beer/delivery.

least

Drinking at someone never hurts them, just us.

Obladi

Your mom's illness is hers. The best thing you can do for both of you is to take care of yourself. A meeting is a way better idea than drinking.

Anna

My mother was an alcoholic in denial. I had to distance myself from her because she was toxic to me. The most important thing right now is that you do what is right and best for you. Good luck with your meeting tomorrow.

sunshinelove101

Thank you all~ I need to distance myself from my Mom as it triggers my urges to drink. I just love talking to her about life, and that unfortunately includes drinking/AA meetings, but maybe she doesn't need to know about everything.

sunshinelove101

Oh, and so much for the 24 hour sobriety thread. Everything was great- I think this AA meeting tmrw will help. God knows I've been praying.

BullDog777

It took me 2 years to get this...but this is the way I view relationships with people now. This includes my mom as well.

You're either good for me or you're bad for me. If you're bad for me, you have to go.

My mom and I have ISSUES. Really bad issues. She was horribly abusive to me growing up and things improved for awhile after I got clean, but she's getting senile now and getting really mean again. So much so I almost hate taking my daughter to see her anymore.

For me...for MY own well being, I MUST stay the priority. Anyone who makes me struggle, I just will not deal with anymore. Maybe someday that'll change...but not today.

You gotta be number 1 for the foreseeable future so you can have one. There's no need to feel bad about that.

tomsteve

good on ya for going. when there, it would be wise to inquire about a copy of the big book. that has the program of recovery explained.
it would be wise to schedule regular meeting attendance- find different meetings to attend

and dont drink even if your ass falls off.
there aint no drink worthy event.

Dropsie

Sun,

I think you probably know this, but what your mother said was about her, not you.

I am not strong enough to do what BD did, but he is so right.

Oh, and I love this TS "and dont drink even if your ass falls off."

XX

Rar

Two great sayings here -

Least: Drinking at someone never hurts them, just us.

Tomsteve: and dont drink even if your ass falls off.

Love them!

NYCDoglvr

We must always put our recovery first so I agree with this. An aunt, addicted to meds, was harshly critical and manipulative so I cut her out of my life completely, only went to her funeral when she died.

PhoenixJ

You cannot own some one else's problems...unless you choose to. It is hard not to feel guilt or whatever..but you cannot control others- only yourself.
Alcohol will make EVERYTHING worse.
Professional support is a very good idea for you. A GP for physical and a counselor for the addictive stuff, mental health.
Support to you.

SoberLeigh

So do I, Rar - great advice!

SoberLeigh

As has been already been voiced, sunshinelove, keep you and your sobriety as your numher one priorities. Keep your own personal waters as calm and as non-triggering as possible.

You can do this and we are here to help.

waynetheking

Perhaps she can go to a meeting with you?