benzenering

Haven't had a day sober since 2008.

Today is my second day at home after inpatient detox. I'm pretty sure I'm going to go crazy! I can't tell if it's cravings or not, but after every sip of my sparkling water (which I got to replace my alcoholic drinks), I'm waiting for the "hit". Every. Single. Sip. It is maddening. Yesterday, I finally just went to bed, but I can't do that every day. I'm still out on short term disability, just had a free day today and went out for some overdue shopping to keep myself busy. Can't do that often...spent nearly $300.

Will report to PHP on Monday. I don't know yet for how long, maybe a couple of weeks more or so. Gotta get thru the weekend. Weather won't be good here this weekend so I won't be able to go hiking, which is the best thing to pass the time for me.

Any help? I was working night shift so my drinking time was starting at 10:30 am.

Now in day 8. Was easy while I was sequestered away in detox, but I have three grocery stores withing 1 mile of my house. This is WAY harder that I thought it would be.

Anna

Good for you for going to detox!

Day 8 is early days and I'm not surprised to hear that you are having cravings. I know I had cravings at that point. The main thing is to get through each hour, each minute and stay sober. It will get easier.

This link might help:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)

Stellar45

The fact that you have been sober for 8 days after zero sober days since 2008 is incredible! I commend you for that. I cannot imagine what it would be like, although I had some pretty horrific detoxes where I could not eat for days on end afterwards and sleep evaded me for 4-5 days as well.
I am only at day 81 for now, but draw strength and inspiration from your efforts.https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ilies/c011.gif

Lookingforchange

Your doing amazing-🤞😎Any sober friends that can stay with you? Binge watch TV or maybe even staying in bed for a couple of days is not so bad. Sobriety is worth it and you are worth it hun.

Dee74

I spent a lot of time here in the early days - it really helped to be around folks who understood

D

Delizadee

SR, AA, being around good friends and family... all good things if it involves support and no alcohol.
Good for you!!
Be super kind to yourself and agree with Lookingforchange. Let yourself indulge, be lazy and give yourself a free pass on those kinds of things that aren't going to hurt you.
Books and netflix have always been my guilty-not guilty go to pleasure
Find what works for you and hits the right spot to settle you a bit.

Sohard

$300? Yeah, it's not nothing, but it's MUCH cheaper than a lifetime of drinking. If a little retail therapy helps, go for it. Do ANYTHING that helps. You got this, by the way. I can feel it. I promise you, it gets WAY easier. I'm on day 102. I never would've believed I could feel this way. You can to. Just look ahead and know it'll get easier. I swear it really will. I would NEVER lie to anyone about that. It helped me when someone said not to look ahead a lifetime but to promise I'd stay sober for just 100 days, and then I could feel free to reevaluate. Once I got to 100, everything was MUCH clearer and easier than on day 7. So, perhaps that same advice can help you: just promise yourself 100 days. Then re-evaluate. I know then what you'll choose. I'm so rooting for you.

DtotheP

If your open to it, hit up some AA meetings in the area. They seem helpful to me most of the time. I hear things I can relate to, and it makes it a little easier to try and turn things over to a Higher Power if you can do it. Mostly try to keep your self busy do anything. I try to hit the gym, workout , sit in the sauna, run, anything to get your blood pumping. Also reading helps me, I have a lot of reading materials from when I went to treatment years ago. I've pulled them out and read and re-read them. Good luck and hang in there, just dont drink!

Eaglelizard

Rootin for ya, benzenering, the hard part is done, now it's just maintaining elevation until your wiring fixes itself. Happy music, listening to the birds chirping, reading good books, easy jogs, it all helps to speed up the process. Good luck!

Zebra1275

Go to an AA meeting today, participate and talk to people. Do the same thing tomorrow.

Rar

I remembered your post from when you first posted it. I keep thinking about it and looking forward to my own 100 days! Good for you!.

Rar

Hang in there! You're doing amazing! Wishing you strength. Don't give up.

benzenering

Another shopping trip this morning, but I'm only buying things I've been neglecting for awhile so at least it's not frivolous. Went to a SMART meeting this morning. It's unfortunate I don't have more of them in the area. I'm going to get my hair done in a few minutes (something else I've been neglecting, as Saturdays are EXTRA REALLY GOOD days to drink). I think I'll spend the afternoon making a menu for the next week. Really need to lose some of this beer belly

Thank you all for the encouragement. I am really needing it. I'm wondering when I'll start to feel good. Everyone seems to say, I feel SO MUCH BETTER now that I've stopped drinking...my skin has cleared up....I've lost weight.

Not me. This is really, really sucking.

Hawkeye13

It took a bit of time to get like this, and it will take some time to get feeling better
but you will if you keep doing the right thing each day for yourself.

I think drinking is such an "immediate gratification" thing we forget that real life takes the time it takes.

Are you hydrating well, eating good healthy food, and doing some light exercise?
Your skin will get better and you will start losing weight as your body begins to release fluid and toxins.

I found the protocols above helpful to "jump start" the process.
I also drank gallons of herbal tea and took a good quality vitamin / mineral
to begin building up what I had destroyed with years of drinking.

That beer belly means your body is stressed and needs some time and support.
You can do this and I think you are doing a great job so far

TheToddman

What he said ^^^

Once my AV started really trying to torment me I was logged in quite a bit. I had a notebook full of countermeasures to deal with cravings/triggers when I left rehab, but the thought of the taste and ensuing adversities (e.g., playing the tape forward) was enough to repel me. Being sequestered for a month made a huge difference.

Also, and probably foremost for me, I'm in the gym every day. It has been pivotal to my recovery.

Hope this helps

TheT.

benzenering

Joined a gym this morning. It should help me out in many ways, including giving me something healthy to do after work and all those other, numerous times I'm bored. I have no idea what to do at a gym (I'm a former runner, and have run 3 half marathons, but have never used a treadmill or weights or anything like that).

Also, went to the library. Haven't been there in eons. Instead of doing self checkout I went to check out with the librarian, and I told her it had been awhile and I wasn't even sure if my card worked. She looked me up. I didn't return a book in 2009...it's been longer than I thought!! Ha ha! Had to pay $10.

Maybe some of these things will help to keep my head busy. If not, I guess I'll try something else!

Sohard

Thanks so much! Good for you, too! We got this!

anxiousrock

It does suck! Personally I gained a lot of weight and my skin went to **** from stress. Not sure when and if that will get better. But I guess you need to think about the reasons you wanted to quit drinking to begin with?

Hawkeye13

I read tons of novels for the first 8 weeks.

Also watched old movies, took many showers,
did lots of healthy from scratch cooking.

Working tabletop puzzles was great in an acute craving phase.
The other "big thing" for me was taking up learning guitar after 30 years away.

What kind of hobby have you always wanted to try but been too busy drinking to do?
You will be amazed how much free time and energy you'll have in a month,
so maybe start dreaming and get the supplies. . .

Sohard

Give it time. I looked awful and exhausted at first. Around weeks 3-4 I started to change. I've now lost 18 pounds, have arm muscles for the first time EVER (nightly planks!), and my eyes are bigger, bluer, and less red. My hair is healthy in a way it's never been.

Just imagine this shi*** time as swimming through a swamp. Of course you don't look too hot. But soon you'll get OUT of that swamp and emerge to clear waters where you'll look better, and then land where you'll look great.