anxiousrock

I'm turning 30 this year and my mum still treats me like a **** 5 year old.
I cannot handle that.
I am an adult with a "problem" and I'm trying to explain this to her.
"Mum, when you check on me 6 times a day, it frustrates me and I want to drink even more!".
Being treated like I'm 5 makes me feel like a failure and want to drink myself away from those feelings.
Does that even make sense?
UGH I'm just SOOOOO frustrated.

Thanks for listening.

Jotick

Sounds like your Mum is worried about you, parents will always remember you as their baby no matter how old you are. Remember she brought you into this world and it’s only because she cares and loves you that she is checking in. It may be frustrating but maybe it’s frustrating for her too, seeing you in a bad way? I know my mum is desperately worried about me and doesn’t want me following in my fathers footsteps and ending up with nothing but his alcohol issues and ill health. Make your mum proud and turn it around, you can do it!! Blame game is negative and positive thinking is sure to help on the road to recovery. Wishing you all the best

doggonecarl

Your mom has been your mom for 30 years and how she treats you probably hasn't changed. But today it upsets you.

What's really the problem?

JJ991

As annoying as I'm sure it is, your mum is worried and doing what she thinks is best. Can you talk to her again, tell her you love her & how much you appreciate the support but that you need a bit of space?
Hang on in there. Don't let your AV use it as an excuse to drink!

anxiousrock

She's seen me drunk like 3 times in my life - and all were about 13-14 years ago (drinking with friends in high school).
I have been turning it around in a good way. Drinking WAY less (a couple hiccups along the way, of course), but been going to AA and counselling, plus online forums all the time .
It's just sad to see that she doesn't think I'm trying...that's what's most frustrating.

anxiousrock

I am definitely NOT going to drink because of it, and I've told her before I need space but she doesn't get it. She thinks space is going from calling, email, and texting me 100 times a day to just 50.

Jennifer7162

Would she consider going to Alanon?

Dropsie

Its hard to know how much your parents love you until you have your own.

We don't mean to drive you crazy....

zjw

that can be frustrating. My dad thought i was anorexic and woudl come over at meal times to check if i was eating one time. I'm 40 mind you and gave him a boat load of **** over it and he stopped.

I also many tiems have been treated like i'm 14 and working my first job by employers. when i'm 40 and have what many would consider a carreer and professional position its like seriously guys?

Another one i get a lot is people automaticaly treat me like I'm an idiot. I think they mistake my kindness and humlity for stupidity and naiveness. ::shrug:: i'm like geeze whatever..

I feel your pain.

Best you can do is show a good example and well if it comes to it you list out the reasons why your an adult and should be treated as such and tell them to stuff it. In a polite courteious way of course. It can be effective. they might get there feathers ruffled but its either there feathers or your feathers you decide right?

zjw

yeah there is that too!

anxiousrock

Thanks everyone. I feel much better now. I was just about to lose it earlier.

MindfulMan

As an aside, my 30th birthday was one of the best days of my life.

You will start to realize that you don't give AF what people think. Including your mom. Well, with her you'll still care but it won't get you as angry!

fini

If being tretd like a kid brings you to reacting by wanting to drink yourself away from these feelings...kinda shows up the point why she 's worried

i get the frustration, though. you could ask her to limit her call or text to once a day, and if she does not, you can decide not to answer more often than once a day or whatever schedule seems appropriate to you.

Jotick

[QUOTE=Anarock;6833065]She's seen me drunk like 3 times in my life - and all were about 13-14 years ago (drinking with friends in high school).
I have been turning it around in a good way. Drinking WAY less (a couple hiccups along the way, of course), but been going to AA and counselling, plus online forums all the time .
It's just sad to see that she doesn't think I'm trying...that's what's most frustrating

Try not to let it get you down your doing amazing! She may drive you crazy but try and see the funny side, my mum still calls be every morning to make sure I’m up in time for work, I’m 41 lol! Yes Mum as I’m rolling my eyes!!

Snowydelrico

Sometimes it’s hard/impossible to control external forces.
It leads to frustration, resentment, anger, stress and a whole load of other unpleasantness.
I learned how to relax and not try to control external forces.
I got to know myself better and these things that bothered me before somehow weren’t an issue anymore.

Think the moral is. It’s not what’s/who’s to blame it’s how to change.

Take care

Gottalife

How fortunate you are to have a mother that cares. Mine is a chronic nasty drunk who has tried everything she can think of to get me drinking again. Her negative power is not match for the Power I have tapped into through AA. She never got close.

Count your blessings. When you get around to a fourth step you might find you had something to do with her current behaviour.

Rar

Though I try not to bug them, I still worry about my two children, especially when they're struggling or having problems. One will be 40 in June and the other 49 next month. I don't think it's that she thinks you're not trying, she might be trying to show her support for something that means allot to you. Maybe even to reassure herself that you're okay.