Some of us don't know what is "Normal"
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Some of us don't know what is "Normal"
Based on some other posts here I have been thinking about the idea of "normal". When we stop drinking, when does it happen and how do we know we are there?
Well in my case I'm not sure I will ever know. I drank and partied pretty consistently from approximately age 15 to age 55. 40 years! So I don't see how I could ever know when I'm "normal" since I have not experienced a long term sober normal since the 1970s. And I realize normal for a 55 year old is far different from normal for a 15 year old.
What I do know is that I feel better in many ways relative to how I felt a couple of years ago when I was drinking every day. That's enough for me.
Well in my case I'm not sure I will ever know. I drank and partied pretty consistently from approximately age 15 to age 55. 40 years! So I don't see how I could ever know when I'm "normal" since I have not experienced a long term sober normal since the 1970s. And I realize normal for a 55 year old is far different from normal for a 15 year old.
What I do know is that I feel better in many ways relative to how I felt a couple of years ago when I was drinking every day. That's enough for me.
Soberado
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Cleveland Ohio-ish
Posts: 395
Originally Posted by rascalwhiteoak 
The concept of normal has always been elusive to me anyway. Now I'm just "better," and I really like it.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
In recovery, I have gradually found a new normal. It's far better than anything I sort-of had before - I'm also one of those people who never quite felt like others, despite being little miss overachiever, popular, etc etc. I had a good cover for a long time; now, my life is real.
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Denmark
Posts: 257
I never felt normal when I was drinking, I was usually either feeling lost/depressed/outside or I was really, really drunk - or I isolated myself from society.
Now I feel just OK . not better or worse than other people, but I feel I'm ok the way I am and I can be around other people and feel confident about it, which is a huge step for me
Now I feel just OK . not better or worse than other people, but I feel I'm ok the way I am and I can be around other people and feel confident about it, which is a huge step for me
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 214
Normal SUCKS! Seriously think about it. The only thing normal ever did was get people into trouble. It moves people into more debt, drinking and drug problems, bad life choices you name it. Tell me one person who came up with a really good business idea trying to be normal. Name how Jesus Christ, Steve Jobs and Abraham Lincoln were trying to be normal. Give yourself permission to seek different! I say normality is the enemy!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 729
I am not normal and I have no desire whatsoever to be "normal". I exceed at excess. I find and run with things that interest me and the result is outstanding.
I learned to channel my addiction and turn it to things that make my life better.
*&%^% normal!
Fire for effect!
I learned to channel my addiction and turn it to things that make my life better.
*&%^% normal!
Fire for effect!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
While I like some things about AA I dont agree with their normal/ abnormal drinker dichotomy.
The so called normal drinker (whatever that might be) is not immune from drinking dangerously. It only takes one mess up to end up in hospital or worse and a 'normal' drinking past does not guarantee a blessed future.
So called 'normalcy' may be good for the liquor industry, but it is never safe for society.
The so called normal drinker (whatever that might be) is not immune from drinking dangerously. It only takes one mess up to end up in hospital or worse and a 'normal' drinking past does not guarantee a blessed future.
So called 'normalcy' may be good for the liquor industry, but it is never safe for society.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I think a better word than "normal" is healthy. I feel comfortable in my own skin and basically have peace of mind (most -- but not all -- the time). In early sobriety (the first year) I related to a Buddhist description of the mind: like a bunch of drunken monkeys.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by AAPJ
Based on some other posts here I have been thinking about the idea of "normal". When we stop drinking, when does it happen and how do we know we are there?
Well in my case I'm not sure I will ever know. I drank and partied pretty consistently from approximately age 15 to age 55. 40 years! So I don't see how I could ever know when I'm "normal" since I have not experienced a long term sober normal since the 1970s. And I realize normal for a 55 year old is far different from normal for a 15 year old.
What I do know is that I feel better in many ways relative to how I felt a couple of years ago when I was drinking every day. That's enough for me.
Well in my case I'm not sure I will ever know. I drank and partied pretty consistently from approximately age 15 to age 55. 40 years! So I don't see how I could ever know when I'm "normal" since I have not experienced a long term sober normal since the 1970s. And I realize normal for a 55 year old is far different from normal for a 15 year old.
What I do know is that I feel better in many ways relative to how I felt a couple of years ago when I was drinking every day. That's enough for me.
However, I still have to live life on life's terms and I've been getting better at this over the years.
What sobriety has given me is a reservoir of experience in which I didn't have to drink and from which I could learn/grow.
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