Hope you're all well :)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Hope you're all well :)
Stepping in to say hi, but not staying.
I am staying Sassy, however.
There is too much drinking on this forum. I know its the nature of the beast, but too many people taking drinking way too casually and just hanging out here while keeping it as a lifestyle, whether its what they really want or not.
Anyway, I do wish everyone the best. Doing a lot of reading, which I find more soothing than the internet. I've stepped back from social media too. It makes life move a little slower, a little more peacefully.
I'm happy. Hope those of you who aren't can find what it takes to get there.
All my best,
Sassy
I am staying Sassy, however.
There is too much drinking on this forum. I know its the nature of the beast, but too many people taking drinking way too casually and just hanging out here while keeping it as a lifestyle, whether its what they really want or not.
Anyway, I do wish everyone the best. Doing a lot of reading, which I find more soothing than the internet. I've stepped back from social media too. It makes life move a little slower, a little more peacefully.
I'm happy. Hope those of you who aren't can find what it takes to get there.
All my best,
Sassy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I guess it's all in perception and perspective. We see what we want to see. I definitely don't see or feel that here, just a lot of love, support and understanding.
I wish you all the best. Sometimes we all need a break from our support groups. I hope you have other supports and tools in real life so you can continue on succesfully.
And door's always open here
I wish you all the best. Sometimes we all need a break from our support groups. I hope you have other supports and tools in real life so you can continue on succesfully.
And door's always open here
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Sassy, no, I would hate to see you go, I have found your posts always so insightful! But whether you stay and go, I thought you might be interested in this podcast where they interview Peter Attia, a doctor who is into Keto and working out. It’s long, but I think it’s right down your alley:
How to Live a Longer, Higher Quality Life, with Peter Attia, M.D. [Invest Like the Best, EP.27]
Enjoy!
How to Live a Longer, Higher Quality Life, with Peter Attia, M.D. [Invest Like the Best, EP.27]
Enjoy!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 675
I really enjoy your posts too Sassy! You have such an eloquent way of expressing things.. Sometimes I feel like being here and staying stuck in whatever issue I'm having at the moment, making other people's issues about myself, etc. isn't necessarily healthy, so I understand your wanting to take a step back (albeit for different reasons).
You're a couple weeks ahead of me and remember thinking that was cool when I first got here.. Congrats on your 6 months which is coming right up, you're doing so great! Hope you'll come back when/if you want to..
You're a couple weeks ahead of me and remember thinking that was cool when I first got here.. Congrats on your 6 months which is coming right up, you're doing so great! Hope you'll come back when/if you want to..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
I don't see it as "casual" or "keeping it as a lifestyle" but more that we are a place of safety and while advocating not drinking, accepting people where they are now in their addiction.
In the years I've been here, this results in many people coming back and finally kicking the drink in the end.
Being too hardazz and rough on folks when they relapse more often than not chases them away back into isolation and the bottle.
Wish you the very best Sassy in your forward sober journey
In the years I've been here, this results in many people coming back and finally kicking the drink in the end.
Being too hardazz and rough on folks when they relapse more often than not chases them away back into isolation and the bottle.
Wish you the very best Sassy in your forward sober journey
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: California
Posts: 2,722
I have mixed feelings on the subject. I'm sad for the folks who stop for awhile, then drink, then come back. I'm happy to see them back. The door to sobriety is always open--for those who are able to make it back.
No matter how many times one stumbles and returns, they are always welcomed back. Big Book tells me that to do otherwise may doom them to their fatal disease.
I can remember going to three memorials/funerals for members who 'went back out'. Perhaps they were thinking they'd come back when they were done with their run. Unfortunately, the disease got them: one from a heroin overdose found three days later, one got drunk and shot himself in the head, and the other was found with a needle in his arm (or near his arm).
Thankfully I've also gone to funerals for friends who died sober, most of them after a long, fruitful life.
Thanks for the reminder Sassy.
No matter how many times one stumbles and returns, they are always welcomed back. Big Book tells me that to do otherwise may doom them to their fatal disease.
I can remember going to three memorials/funerals for members who 'went back out'. Perhaps they were thinking they'd come back when they were done with their run. Unfortunately, the disease got them: one from a heroin overdose found three days later, one got drunk and shot himself in the head, and the other was found with a needle in his arm (or near his arm).
Thankfully I've also gone to funerals for friends who died sober, most of them after a long, fruitful life.
Thanks for the reminder Sassy.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
The thing is that there are many stages on the scale of alcoholism, so you're gonna get a mix of people where some are just starting to ask the question "do I have a problem?", some who are further along but in denial, others who have come to terms that they are alcoholics but haven't been able (or willing) to quit yet, some who are in the late stages and are about to give up, etc.
And along with that the forum is going to have people at many different stages of recovery. Some will be very early in the process and are full of regret, fear, pain (both physical and mental), facing legal, financial and relationship problems, etc. Others may have a few weeks or months under their belt and are starting to see some progress, while still others may have years or even decades of recovery.
Add some people with various amounts of sobriety who have come back because they have relapsed, mix all of these people up, and you get a pretty diverse group of alcoholics covering the entire spectrum. I know it can be frustrating sometimes, but then I try to remember how I was in my mid to late 20's first grappling with the idea that I might be an alcoholic. I did a lot of the same things I see people here doing...mostly trying to figure out a way to drink like a normal person so I didn't have to give up the booze.
At 29 I "finally" gave up trying and got sober. BTW, I'm 57 and I'll be celebrating 5 years sober next month, not 28 years
. I was sober for 6+ years, relapsed for over a year, got sober again for 7 years, relapsed for 8 years, and now have almost 5 years sober again. I can relate to most everyone on this forum because at some point in the last 40+ years of drinking and not drinking I've probably been in a similar position to where you're at now (except you old timers with double digit sobriety).
And along with that the forum is going to have people at many different stages of recovery. Some will be very early in the process and are full of regret, fear, pain (both physical and mental), facing legal, financial and relationship problems, etc. Others may have a few weeks or months under their belt and are starting to see some progress, while still others may have years or even decades of recovery.
Add some people with various amounts of sobriety who have come back because they have relapsed, mix all of these people up, and you get a pretty diverse group of alcoholics covering the entire spectrum. I know it can be frustrating sometimes, but then I try to remember how I was in my mid to late 20's first grappling with the idea that I might be an alcoholic. I did a lot of the same things I see people here doing...mostly trying to figure out a way to drink like a normal person so I didn't have to give up the booze.
At 29 I "finally" gave up trying and got sober. BTW, I'm 57 and I'll be celebrating 5 years sober next month, not 28 years
. I was sober for 6+ years, relapsed for over a year, got sober again for 7 years, relapsed for 8 years, and now have almost 5 years sober again. I can relate to most everyone on this forum because at some point in the last 40+ years of drinking and not drinking I've probably been in a similar position to where you're at now (except you old timers with double digit sobriety).
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
we'd be sorry to see you go for good Sassy
I realised a few years back all I can so here is share my experience - no more no less. What people do with that experience is up to them - its out of my hands.
Still good to see the success stories tho
D
I realised a few years back all I can so here is share my experience - no more no less. What people do with that experience is up to them - its out of my hands.
Still good to see the success stories tho
D
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
smh......
This is sad for several reasons....
She helped a lot of people...she's now missing and we have no way of making sure she's OK.
This may be what she wrote, but the alcoholic brain never rests for very long...the motive may have been pure in time, but the AV just got her to a place where she can't tell on herself either.
She posted a lot about still having ups and downs...we exist as a group to help each other "not be alone" in this battle...this is why AA works for a lot of people.
Sassy, if you read this...please don't stay gone. You matter to a lot of people here.
This is sad for several reasons....
She helped a lot of people...she's now missing and we have no way of making sure she's OK.
This may be what she wrote, but the alcoholic brain never rests for very long...the motive may have been pure in time, but the AV just got her to a place where she can't tell on herself either.
She posted a lot about still having ups and downs...we exist as a group to help each other "not be alone" in this battle...this is why AA works for a lot of people.
Sassy, if you read this...please don't stay gone. You matter to a lot of people here.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
On this note, I would say that i too left SR once, a couple of times actually. Many have - some never come back, some do, there was just another thread about this very same topic over in Newcomers.
There are definitely still people drinking here, just as there are in any other recovery community. The stats don't lie unfortunately - there are more people who don't ever beat their addiction than there are that do - regardless of how they go about it. So the odds are against us already.
Having said that, there are lot of people here to DO understand what it means to be an addict -and how to get better. Even some of the ones that might be drinking - they have quit before and quite frankly we all know what we are doing when we drink or use is not good for us. If it were simply a mater of just not doing none of us would be here in the first place, right?
I can tell you that seeing other people stuck or relapsing over and over is mightily frustrating as a forum leader too. There are many times I've wanted to remove a post or boot a user because they seem like they are beyond help or perhaps even here to play games. But i've learned that we cannot or should not ever turn away people who need help, even if they seem like they don't want it - again and again and again.
I wish you the best of luck Sassy - and if you are still reading this please know you are always welcome to come back whenever you like.
There are definitely still people drinking here, just as there are in any other recovery community. The stats don't lie unfortunately - there are more people who don't ever beat their addiction than there are that do - regardless of how they go about it. So the odds are against us already.
Having said that, there are lot of people here to DO understand what it means to be an addict -and how to get better. Even some of the ones that might be drinking - they have quit before and quite frankly we all know what we are doing when we drink or use is not good for us. If it were simply a mater of just not doing none of us would be here in the first place, right?
I can tell you that seeing other people stuck or relapsing over and over is mightily frustrating as a forum leader too. There are many times I've wanted to remove a post or boot a user because they seem like they are beyond help or perhaps even here to play games. But i've learned that we cannot or should not ever turn away people who need help, even if they seem like they don't want it - again and again and again.
I wish you the best of luck Sassy - and if you are still reading this please know you are always welcome to come back whenever you like.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
She'll be fine. She'll check in with us later. I think sometimes newcomers attach themselves to this forum with such a vengeance that they get burned out on it. Let's face it, 6 months of sobriety changes people. As long as she stays sober that's all that matters.
Hang in there SS. We're here for ya, anytime.
Hang in there SS. We're here for ya, anytime.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
I think WTK has it nailed.
She's got this for now and I do think sometimes reading too much about something you have decided not to do can be counter productive.
Also, it is tough when people you care about flounder or disappear, which is all part of the process but sometimes hard to accept.
Love to Sass.
She's got this for now and I do think sometimes reading too much about something you have decided not to do can be counter productive.
Also, it is tough when people you care about flounder or disappear, which is all part of the process but sometimes hard to accept.
Love to Sass.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Hi guys. I'm still sober. Just focusing on environmental input that is alcohol free, lots of alcohol references here that I just didn't want muddying up the waters.
I'm not fixed by any means...avoiding a lot socially, and I think that mindset sort of started to just extend to here. I got rid of all the drinkers in my life....don't even hang out with the husband much anymore, and the drinking here was just not fun to deal with either.
I work a lot. Sometimes too much. Exercise too much. Alternately eat too little then too much. I get really tired and really burned out on life was lot. I find every action in my life seems to be for other people and never for me, don't know how to fix that, but it'll sort itself out like everything else does eventually when you don't drink.
Please don't worry about me, ill be alright. Take good care of yourselves.
I'm not fixed by any means...avoiding a lot socially, and I think that mindset sort of started to just extend to here. I got rid of all the drinkers in my life....don't even hang out with the husband much anymore, and the drinking here was just not fun to deal with either.
I work a lot. Sometimes too much. Exercise too much. Alternately eat too little then too much. I get really tired and really burned out on life was lot. I find every action in my life seems to be for other people and never for me, don't know how to fix that, but it'll sort itself out like everything else does eventually when you don't drink.
Please don't worry about me, ill be alright. Take good care of yourselves.
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