nandm

Thank you for the post.

It got me thinking of how over the years I have had periods where I have been quite active in my posting then have periods where I get caught up in life and don't seem to find time to check in much, sometimes for months at a time. And even then it is just a quick lurking check to see what people are posting. I do miss being more active and connected and your post brought back that feeling. I am very active in my local AA community but it is different than the interactions I find here.

Thanks for the reminder that I need to check in more often.

Maudcat

I miss Lexiecat and hope she returns here.

iew101

I’m currently in “lurk mode” 😀

SR gave me the support I needed to get back on track and now I mainly check in and read to remind myself why I won’t drink again, and also to not forget that drinking is in fact a problem for me. Honestly, I have no desire to drink again which is a nice feeling. Like deep down no desire.

38 days sober and not looking back 👍

lessgravity

We have the same amount of days sober. Keep it moving and nice work.

TheToddman

People come and people go.

I have to say two recent departures struck me. One (which you alluded to Less) was almost inexplicable, the other very much anticipated (although that person was very strong in their sobriety). Whatever the reason, this is still a very fluid virtual community with accountability and participation totally incumbent on the member themselves. We can try admonish as much as possible and do what we can but we only have the power to control our own journeys.

Not to wax philosophical too much (once again)...........

SnazzyDresser

I miss my friend sleepie. Her posts were like no one else's! I wish her well and would like it a lot if she came back and posted some more!

Maudcat

I like to think that people who no longer post have gotten themselves together and are moving on and up.
The ones that get me is when people, clearly upset and miserable, post about a loved one’s drinking, looking for the answer.
When told, gently and with kindness, that there really is no answer save the drinker needs to want to stop, they ghost.
I always wonder what happens.

lessgravity

Todd - I'm kind of twisted up on her departure as well. Nothing I/we haven't come across in life before. Just strange and sudden and sad.

Especially with the posting that came before.

Alas, perhaps she's finding peace.

Talkinandwalkin

A lot of us just get on with the business of life. It doesn't mean we value SR any less. It just means we have grown as a person and don't require the same degree of a tether. I would liken it to a child that has grown and left home. The idea of a home sometimes is as important as the actual home. I have a total of 170 something odd posts and I am close to three years of sobriety. While others might have 1000. It depends on what each individual needs. GOD BLESS! And Thank You as always!

FBL

SR helped me tremendously when I needed it. I stick around with the intention of giving some back, but then again I still learn something here all the time. From old-timers and newcomers alike.

As for those that disappear...that's life.

CreativeThinker

When I first joined SR I was on this site multiple times a day...I needed to be. Reading and posting helped me move through the hardest times of finding sobriety. As time has gone by, I still visit SR...just not as much. Like FormerBeerLover, I learn something every time I come here. I can't see myself ever leaving this site indefinitely as it has provided me with so much!

CT

Forward12

We can only hope for the best, but I think telling a codependent that there is nothing that they can do to magically "fix" their alcoholic loved one makes them go bonkers and they just leave as in their mind there has to be some magic wand to wave to fulfill their fantasy.
Similarly to the alcoholic that keeps drinking fully convinced that they can moderate/don't have a problem/can control their drinking/, and when the truth of complete abstinence being the only option is presented, is looked at as completely absurd.
Both are serious addictions with a ton of ego of "I'm right, you're wrong," almost always involved.

Mattq2

SR and it’s members saved me. I don’t post as much as I used to but I often think of those who helped when I needed it so badly. I do remember one member doing a daily support thread when I was first starting. Her support thread helped me a great deal. I read it everyday. Haven’t seen her here in over a year. You can’t help but wonder.

Hawkeye13

I drift in and out of posting, and frequency of posting, but I tend to read frequently.

Virtual life and real life are different things, especially for people who didn't even conceive of a virtual community before the internet.

I think some folks heal and move on, some fall back into the abyss, and some
just stick around with others who understand.

BullDog777

THIS IS SOOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!

I was out for almost 4 years on my last bender. There were a few who posted messages or pm'd me a couple of times, but really none after a couple of months of me being gone.

There was one guy who sent me a few messages every few months just letting me know there was still help out there and if I needed him, he was there. No matter what I had done or how long I had been gone.

The member, The End, helped save my life.

reach out to your fellow SR people...you never know when that line you throw out there is the one that brings them back in. That's a priceless currency when all the person still suffering has is fear and hopelessness.

Dropsie

Great post Bull Dog -- thanks for the reminder.

XX

Klp9999

Lurk mode here thanks to this wonderful place SOBER for 4 years or so!!!??? I don’t keep count of the days. Life has changed so much for awhile thought my marriage would end...it didn’t ( my mind and emotions) settled down. My husband still drinks but just a drink now and then..not me no way no how! I still sometimes want to really want to but this time soberity is sticking happy dance.

Outonthetiles

My posting has decreased, but only because I'm busy living my life--sober.
SR is still a huge part of my life and I think that I will always be here in one form or another.

Fallow

Wow powerful messages for me here.

Ive been lurking and hiding for years.
I signed up under a new name but couldnt take it. A real struggle.

Yet in all the time I have been coming here my life has changed so much for the better. I thank all of you so much for that.

In real life and on SR so many have disappeared from my life. Many are dead and most of us just went separate ways.

I guess that is life.

I hope to stick it out here. With so many beautiful and helpful people around the world. We all definitely deserve the best after what we have been thru.

Cuckoo

Thank you for this thread. It has given me the push I need to post again.
I spend hours lurking and reading but out of total shame for being a complete failure I havent been able to hold my hands up and admit defeat.......again.
I recently read 'This Naked Mind' as recommended to me by 'decchemist'.
It absolutely blew me away. I had no urge to drink at all when I had finished it. Almost felt like I had been hypnotised !!
But, it didnt last long and I went right back to it. I dont think I even craved a drink it was more that I missed the habit if that makes sense ?
Yesterday I attended a funeral and really really really wasnt going to drink but......
My blackout started after my third drink and i dont really remember anything for hours afterwards including the hour long drive home (i wasnt the driver !!) Or coming in to my family. This cant go on.
I feel like total rubbish and I want to be normal
Please dont be too hard in me
C