Trying Again
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 967
I don’t think you are weak for being unable to control your alcohol intake. Alcohol is legal drug addiction, which means it’s an illusion if someone thinks it can be controlled.
I am currently on Day 8 and also facing 20 pounds of weight gain during my last spree. So far I have lost 5 of those 20 with exercise, healthy eating and no alcohol. 15 more to go!
I am currently on Day 8 and also facing 20 pounds of weight gain during my last spree. So far I have lost 5 of those 20 with exercise, healthy eating and no alcohol. 15 more to go!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by fini 
yes, it is tiring.
and it is impossible to have control of life and surroundings, though one can, within limits. it is also impossible to be perfect, though you may do some things perfectly.
in any case, you know all that, i am sure.
so...am i getting this right? AA and therapy helped you get years of no drinking and a much better life, and you abandoned both those things. Not drinking is giving something up, and ultimately you get worn down by the struggle to stay strong, when strength seems the only way to control what you say you don't have control of.
it is quite a dilemma, yes?
if you experience yourself as powerless vis-a-vis alcohol, then the 12step program that you haven't really done seems like it might provide a solution.
if you experience yourself as in need of/lacking a firm decision, then checking out AVRT on the secular forum farther down seems a good choice.
if you fel you were just lacking peer support and encouragement, any kind of meetings and forums might provide that.
i could go on. my point is that what you see as the real problem will tell you where to look for the solution.
how are you doing today and how is the "plan-making" looking?
and it is impossible to have control of life and surroundings, though one can, within limits. it is also impossible to be perfect, though you may do some things perfectly.
in any case, you know all that, i am sure.
so...am i getting this right? AA and therapy helped you get years of no drinking and a much better life, and you abandoned both those things. Not drinking is giving something up, and ultimately you get worn down by the struggle to stay strong, when strength seems the only way to control what you say you don't have control of.
it is quite a dilemma, yes?
if you experience yourself as powerless vis-a-vis alcohol, then the 12step program that you haven't really done seems like it might provide a solution.
if you experience yourself as in need of/lacking a firm decision, then checking out AVRT on the secular forum farther down seems a good choice.
if you fel you were just lacking peer support and encouragement, any kind of meetings and forums might provide that.
i could go on. my point is that what you see as the real problem will tell you where to look for the solution.
how are you doing today and how is the "plan-making" looking?
I'm good. Spent the weekend having some emotional conversations and then escaping in some online game, which is not usual for me. Hopefully I'll find some more constructive ways to spend my time. 😂 Also, fridge died, so had to get a new one and deal with that.
No drinking, though. Didn't really struggle with the desire to. My husband admitted that he did, though.
I work in the garden center industry, so I'll be busy for the next couple months, which will be good.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by FreedomCA
I don’t think you are weak for being unable to control your alcohol intake. Alcohol is legal drug addiction, which means it’s an illusion if someone thinks it can be controlled.
I am currently on Day 8 and also facing 20 pounds of weight gain during my last spree. So far I have lost 5 of those 20 with exercise, healthy eating and no alcohol. 15 more to go!
I am currently on Day 8 and also facing 20 pounds of weight gain during my last spree. So far I have lost 5 of those 20 with exercise, healthy eating and no alcohol. 15 more to go!
I haven't seen any rewards in weight loss yet, but I won't say I haven't seen any rewards... It's Monday, and I'm not hung over!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Welcome.
Its hard when your sober buddy wants to become your drinking buddy, and then in top of it says you are worse.
Do it for you, not for your new husband, or the court, or the divorce lawyer all those years ago, just you.
Sounds silly I know, but the time it really stuck was when I totally decided on my own, I was done. I totally can drink, but I can also shoot a gun in a crowded room full of people I love and the effect would be about the same.
So I stopped. Over and out. And Never Quit the Decision. BTW, I love the Hip Sobriety site -- you might want to check it out.
XX
Its hard when your sober buddy wants to become your drinking buddy, and then in top of it says you are worse.
Do it for you, not for your new husband, or the court, or the divorce lawyer all those years ago, just you.
Sounds silly I know, but the time it really stuck was when I totally decided on my own, I was done. I totally can drink, but I can also shoot a gun in a crowded room full of people I love and the effect would be about the same.
So I stopped. Over and out. And Never Quit the Decision. BTW, I love the Hip Sobriety site -- you might want to check it out.
XX
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 15
Thank you guys, still here & not drinking.
Just feeling really depressed. Every day gets a little better, though.
Made a million trips to the restroom in the middle of the night to relieve my bladder. 😂
Hope this means I'm starting to get rid of the bloating.
Just feeling really depressed. Every day gets a little better, though.
Made a million trips to the restroom in the middle of the night to relieve my bladder. 😂
Hope this means I'm starting to get rid of the bloating.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by MacLyn
So depressed. How long does it last?
I came to Sober Recovery about three weeks after my last relapse and wondered why at three weeks I wasn't seeing significant improvement. I will give you the advice I was given and which proved tremendously helpful:
Be patient.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Hi MacLyn 
It is still early days for you and early days are not easy
I think it is different for everyone. I had a tough time with it but, for me, it was still better than drinking.
Also, I have had depression for years so, removing the alcohol was just one piece of the puzzle for me.
Are you doing anything for self-care? Like getting a massage or a facial? Or maybe fill the tub and let Calgon take you away? Maybe movies are your thing or getting out and doing something physical? Just throwing things out there
What would feel like a treat or an indulgence for you?
I have found that when I am down, as hard as it is to make myself, the best medicine is pushing myself to do something kind for myself.
It is still early days for you and early days are not easy
I think it is different for everyone. I had a tough time with it but, for me, it was still better than drinking.
Also, I have had depression for years so, removing the alcohol was just one piece of the puzzle for me.
Are you doing anything for self-care? Like getting a massage or a facial? Or maybe fill the tub and let Calgon take you away? Maybe movies are your thing or getting out and doing something physical? Just throwing things out there
What would feel like a treat or an indulgence for you?
I have found that when I am down, as hard as it is to make myself, the best medicine is pushing myself to do something kind for myself.
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