Fear of Change and Irrational Guilt

Old 03-06-2018, 01:35 PM
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Fear of Change and Irrational Guilt

Hello all, long time since I posted.

Sober now for 2.5 years. Going great, I simply loathe the thought of being drunk again, which I know one drink would lead to. No problem there.

As my life improves and new opportunities arrive I find my fear of change and the burden of irrational guilt is almost paralyzing. As an example, I recently moved, a move I would make 100 times out of a 100, it is the correct choice without a doubt. Yet I cannot begin to count the number of times I cried like a little kid because I was taking my cats away from the only home they'd ever known. And for leaving the little tiny apartment within which I spent 7 years of my life and made the most impressive changes ever, even if I was depressed and lonely most of the time.

I recognize this for what it is.. yet I have a lot of difficulty handling it. If it doesn't improve i will seek out professional counseling.

My question is.. has anyone else dealt with this, and what coping mechanisms worked for you ?

thanks all, never give up the fight. There is life after alcohol.
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Old 03-06-2018, 03:00 PM
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Every major change in my life--career, school, relocation, relationship, marriage-- took overcoming the fear I had to make that very change.
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Old 03-06-2018, 03:37 PM
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before I got sober I viewed stuff like that as an exciting adventure.

I'm dealing with the possibility of some serous changes in my life as well. and i'm struggling to settle into that exciting adventure mindset that kept my sanity in the past.
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Old 03-06-2018, 05:39 PM
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Sometimes now, I'm even a little anxious in the pit of my belly just going to work. I never felt that way when i was smashed half the week.

We are just very aware of everything.

Just quitting drinking changed my entire life without changing a single detail in my environment.

How much of relapse, I wondered today, is just the inevitability of change in sobriety?
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Old 03-06-2018, 07:08 PM
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Yeah I can relate to that. I felt awful moving my cats. But they will be happy just being with you- they bounce back quick.
Irrational guilt would be a good topic to talk to a counsellor about. They can help you with positive thinking.
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Old 03-07-2018, 10:07 AM
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I'm doing ok.. I don't think I have a disorder or anything as I am able to overcome it with some tears and whimpering... but still get done what I know needs to happen.

I was just never like this when I was drinking, the poison would mask everything.. while that might sound appealing in this case it is not, as the decisions I would make in that state were always questionable. Now I know I am of a clear sober mind making the correct choice. The best route is usually not the easiest. Forge through....
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Old 03-07-2018, 11:05 AM
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Your post reminds me of a saying I've heard in the rooms: "feel the feelings and do it anyway." Moving is one of the top stresses in life, up there with death of a spouse. It's normal to feel doubt and uncertainty. Congrats on taking the action and not drinking. What we alcoholics call stress non alcoholics call life.
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Old 03-07-2018, 11:33 AM
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I totally relate to this. Moved last year (when I was 2.5 years sober too!) and I immediately had all this guilt and anxiety about leaving friends and my new job and a million other things.

It's not easy, and it's not fun, but after a few months my new life started to feel normal. I started making new friends in my new community, and I restarted doing the one thing that always makes me feel better, running.

This kind of misplaced stress is common in our community and I applaud your strength at being able to stay away from the bad stuff during the hard times.
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