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Old 03-04-2018, 06:26 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hi BR, I hope having some time to yourself in a few weeks is enough to catalyze change. The alcohol might put up a fight, so be ready for that. I once had a long term girlfriend who hated all of my friends (even those who weren't bartenders). Before long it was just me and her and we got along less well, I drank more, worked more, let my health slide, until I finally had enough and ditched her. Unfortunately the drinking stayed with me like a nagging illness that came and went. Bad things continued to happen. Lots of "bad luck". Everything else in life eventually withered away until it was basically me, my bad habit, and all its crappy consequences. True love. It took 10 years but eventually I said f*** this and let's get back to living. Now I love a few other things. Like feeling 20 years younger. Like "feeling" at all. Like salvaging my ruined life bit by bit and making a comeback after most people had written me off as a joke or a lost cause. But ditching the relationship or the many that followed--wasn't what got me "here" (knock on wood). Still working on it.
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Old 03-04-2018, 06:34 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Thanks for the support, Eagle.

I've researched rehabs but they all look the same on their respective websites. The one I went to was terrible, and a big waste of money, and I really think it made things worse. It was all group therapy, and the group size was 50 people, maybe more than that. I'm not going to recover that way, just my personality. The closest non-12 step rehabs I can find are 6+ hours away in other states, so I can't just stop by to see what they are doing there.
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Old 03-04-2018, 10:09 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Eaglelizard View Post
Hi BR, I hope having some time to yourself in a few weeks is enough to catalyze change. The alcohol might put up a fight, so be ready for that. I once had a long term girlfriend who hated all of my friends (even those who weren't bartenders). Before long it was just me and her and we got along less well, I drank more, worked more, let my health slide, until I finally had enough and ditched her. Unfortunately the drinking stayed with me like a nagging illness that came and went. Bad things continued to happen. Lots of "bad luck". Everything else in life eventually withered away until it was basically me, my bad habit, and all its crappy consequences. True love. It took 10 years but eventually I said f*** this and let's get back to living. Now I love a few other things. Like feeling 20 years younger. Like "feeling" at all. Like salvaging my ruined life bit by bit and making a comeback after most people had written me off as a joke or a lost cause. But ditching the relationship or the many that followed--wasn't what got me "here" (knock on wood). Still working on it.

awesome post eagle.
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Old 03-04-2018, 10:13 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by benzenering View Post
Thanks for the support, Eagle.

I've researched rehabs but they all look the same on their respective websites. The one I went to was terrible, and a big waste of money, and I really think it made things worse. It was all group therapy, and the group size was 50 people, maybe more than that. I'm not going to recover that way, just my personality. The closest non-12 step rehabs I can find are 6+ hours away in other states, so I can't just stop by to see what they are doing there.
outpatient rehab did not help me. AVRT comes as close to describing the method I used. I found it very empowering. I'm not saying you wouldn't find a rehab that helps, maybe you are needing that kind of support. You could add AVRT concepts to whatever you choose. I think that mentality helps reframe sobriety as something you really want to do, vs something you have to do.
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Old 03-04-2018, 06:16 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by benzenering View Post
Yes that is what Iím moving forward for, D. After 10 years using alcohol to cope with a bad marriage, I imagine it will be a difficult habit to break. I think I will need help.
You'll find a lot of help and endless support here benzenering

D
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Old 03-04-2018, 06:37 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Benzenering, rootin for ya.
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Old 03-05-2018, 09:08 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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AVRT? I know I've seen it somewhere in the past, but can't find it. Is it on this site?
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Old 03-05-2018, 10:34 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Addicted voice recognition technique. It can be used with AA or any other program. Check the secular forum here at SR.

It starts for me with knowing that any thought that puts alcohol in a positive light or leads to romanticizing the drink is a thought that is "not me." It is all addiction. The true me, the real me, reaches for meaning and authenticity in my life, so when alcohol voices crop up in my brain I immediately see them as the addicted voice, beat them back, and with practice, they go away quickly.

One example: "I love alcohol." A common thought for those who struggle here, but it's a lie. Its not you, not the real you.
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