Markymarc

Hi All, I am a 42 year old single male from the Chicago area, I was a heavy drinker for about 6 years and then had to stop due to fatty liver.

I went through 6 months of hell, anxiety, insomnia, hypochondria, etc. Lost my job, detox in a hospital setting for 5 days, isolated myself from all contacts and activities before I snapped out of it. I was sober for 11 months until last week.

I had friends over and they brought wine, not knowing of my condition. I had some that night and felt fine, but continued the next day with a jug of Carlo Rossi. This continued for about a week until I told myself to stop. Luckily I have not had any relapse symptoms physically, just mental.

I feel like I let myself (especially my higher power), my animals, and around me down despite only me knowing about it, and feel like I am at ground zero again. Especially taking a risk to further damage myself physically.

I thought I was stronger than this, but apparently I am not.

fini

hey Markymarc,
i used to think it was a matter of "strength" as such, but through much torturous continued experiments found that a bunch of continued actions gave me better success.

and i would like to draw your attention to the title of your thread, which implies there will be more relapses. no need to set yourself up for that...amazing how these words can whiz by without noticing what they really say.

so it's time to look at what you'll do to move forward from ground zero.
lots of reading here on SR and lots of folks doing this in different ways.

welcome back, stick around.

JayTee33

Hi Markymarc,

Well, you're back here now! Forward we go! Good luck.

Culture

It doesn't always stick first time round, took me a few attempts.
I am at 6 months now and when I first relapsed, I took up Dee's suggestion and made a plan, that made a real difference as before I couldn't get past 23 days.
Reading my plan everyday for 10 minutes before I get out of bed sets up my resolve to not drink for another 24 hours, I still take it a day at a time.
Also get on SR before you give in to the craving, there's always some one here to talk you out of it, it has saved my sobriety, more than once.

Dee74

Hi Markymarc - I daresay many of us found ourselves in an 'ambush' situation, panicked and did what we always did..drink.

A good recovery action plan could help you out next time someone brings wine over, or you're out and others are drinking, etc

Alcohol is everywhere - we really need to be prepared for that.

just as an aside tho - my house is 'dry'. If people don't like that they don't come over...

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

D

waynetheking

Keep trying. Your not a failure. Your disappointed in yourself. We get that. Just keep trying. Ask your higher power for help. Develop a plan and work it. Get busy. Don't let the disease wins. Just keep going and don't drink under any circumstances.
Stay with us. We're here for ya.
Hi, I'm wayne...

SnazzyDresser

Hang in there, Markymarc. You had 11 months of sobriety already, no reason at all you can't get right back on track and make it stick. We're all capable of a lot more than we know.

Gottalife

It is the most natural thing in the world for an alcoholic to drink. Not something to be ashamed of so much as something that can be learned from.

You seem to suggest with the above, that if your friends had not brought the wine, you would still be sober. If that is what causes alcoholics to drink, how come I was out last night with people who were drinking, and it never occured to me to have a drink myself?

"In our experience any attempt to shield the alcoholic from temptation is doomed to failure" My experience too. I couldn't stay sober by hiding from the booze . That was a sensible thing to do in the first few days but it was unsustainable and therefore could not bring permanent sobriety.

I would say the key difference is we are on different sides of recovery or, in my case, the steps. For me, the problem has been removed. I have sufficient power that drinking is not an option or an issue. I had to do some work to get there, work I had hoped to avoid.

JJ991

Hi.
I also thought the title might suggest you were setting up for more relapses (sub consciously), something to be aware of.

Our house isn't dry as my husband still drinks. We had a friend over last night, they were both drinking. However, this friend knows my situation and checked I was ok with her drinking - I wouldn't have offered her a drink if I wasn't, that is my rule.

I don't broadcast I have a drinking problem but I do tell people I no longer drink, with some friends knowing a bit more. I find this helps with being prepared, it is part of my plan if you like. (I'm at 5 months.)

11 months is amazing, you can get back there again.

anxiousrock

Impressed that you have admitted it and are back on the sober train. Glad you came back here for support!

NYCDoglvr

I doubt most alcoholics can just stop and expect to stay sober long term. It's not about "strength", or willpower; those things alone don't work. What's necessary is a recovery plan, taking actions instead of being a passive observer. What worked for me as AA, although I hated it in the beginning. I was so desperate to stop drinking I crawled into meetings totally defeated.

A big hug!