Sohard

Can you think back to how you felt at 75 days sober? Do you remember? I'd really love to hear where you were at mentally at 75 days sober. Because I’d LIKE to say I look at alcohol as poison, I’m psyched to be sober, my Big Plan (in AVRT lingo) is made and solid. In reality, while my life has vastly improved in just 75 days, I really DO miss wine/alcohol. I reallly do. I feel exactly like I did after knee surgery - trapped. At the point, I couldn’t walk or bend my knee, which wasn’t a good place to be, so I had to go to rehab for 4 months post surgery. But, rehab was hell when they would forcibly bend your knee and put you through torture to help fix you (which did work). But, it’s like real life was hell struggling from place to place, and physical therapy was also hell but something I needed to do. Now, drinking became hell, but getting sober is it’s own kind of hell. My sobriety feels 50% terrific and 50% negative (it's hard, I miss it, etc), and that bothers me. I want “the obsession lifted”, yet I don’t feel it has been, although it’s vastly improved with time. I’d love to know how you felt at day 75. Were you still mourning it at all? When did that end, if it did? It really scares me I don't feel more secure at 75 days because I want this so, so much. When did you really stop the wanting??

Dee74

I can't think back to day 75 specifically but I was a lot more at peace with my decision not to drink again after 90 days

for me the key was building a sober life I loved.
What have you been doing in that regard SoHard?

D

Vinificent

I am at 9 months and I still miss it - it just doesn't control my thoughts the way it did earlier in sobriety. The things I miss are not so much the blotto feeling, but the inclusion and romanticism of toasting for good or bad. I'm not sure if that will ever go away, which is why I spend alot of time here - to remind me all the fun and romantic notions are just the alcoholic voice trying to draw me back in. I was at a meeting last week and a person with over 30 years sobriety said they thought about drinking on a recent vacation, so I am not sure if it ever goes away.

doggonecarl

It's been a long time since I had seventy five days, but I'm pretty sure I was mainly just amazed that I hadn't drank in that many days. That's what I remember about the early days...just hanging on.

But it helped that I accepted never drinking again, and stopped feeling that sobriety was depriving me of something vital. It wasn't. Being sober freed me from the chains of alcohol. And now, at 7.5 years, I don't miss it. I'm proud that I don't drink, and blessed to be sober.

Sohard

I've definitely been working hard on building a sober life I love. I've gotten myself in great shape and am enjoying that. I'm thriving at work. I've been on two job interviews for a better position, which are both looking like real possibilities, one in particular. I've gotten back into reading, which I used to before I stopped so I could just drink all the time. I can't really build more of a sober life, at this point, because I need to focus on hanging on. Experiencing every thing (and every emotion) sober for the first time in decades. I really have accomplished so much, I feel, at this point. I just want the desire to really go away and it hasn't. At least not 100%. I'll hope for the 90 days. Thank you!

Sohard

Okay, that makes me feel a little better. Sometimes I sincerely forget what you stated so clearly - that this is the "early days". 75 days is so momentous for me I borderline feel like an old-timer. Like, how can I not be solid by now?! But, I guess you're right, it's still the early days. Thank you.

Sohard

While I sure hope this isn't the case with me, I do very much appreciate your honesty. Thank you!

Mizzuno

I do think that some part of you will always think about drinking. It will become less and less. Even though you see the positives, it is true that something you once did is missing and you have created a void. The void has to be filled. At least this is what I have learned time after time.

Part of me thinks that I should not be responding to this as I had a relapse after 10 plus months. The other part of me has experienced a calmer more peaceful life with the removal of alcohol and therefore I am compelled to share with you.

Fill the void. Grieve the loss. You will be just fine. Being honest about how you feel and what you think will take you a long way. It is okay to be where you are at. Each day will hold something new. You deserve to see what that something new will be.

Dee74

I think thats a great start - and yeah change is a process & takes time- you won't have a sober life built in 75 or even 90 days, but you're definitely on track.

Honestly I think about it now about as much as I think of playing chicken on the highway and about as seriously

D

least

I was around 3 months sober and still felt discontented. I forget who it was. but someone suggested I start to practice gratitude every day. It was hard at first, but became a habit, and it improved my sobriety, and, indeed, my whole attitude toward life. Gratitude can make you happier. Try it.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0

Dave42001

Nice job on 75 days!!!

Personally I was a mess for most of my first year. I totally get the 50/50 analogy. I kept going back to meetings working with my Sponsor, I knew more than he did and at the time and he had 25 years sober.

I stayed focused on recovery lived at AA and read and posted a lot here on SR.. I don’t remover the day the obsession was lifted but it happened.. truly a miracle!!

Keep up the good work, you’re doing all the right things, it takes a while to make life changes but the reward is so peaceful and wonderful!!

Wishing you the best!!

Stayingsassy

I have not craved alcohol since the day I quit, because I was just done. But I suffered physically and mentally and felt really off until about 4 months. It was a long hard road but worth it. Every single day was worth it even when it was hard.

Done4today

Congrats on 75 days Sohard!

I know I didn't want to drink around that many days but I may have thought about it. The obsession to drink left me around the 30 day mark but I do think about when I drank. I don't think about drinking. Not sure if that sounds right but I have no desire to drink and drinking has been taken off the table completely.

As for early in recovery, I feel like a new comer at times and others like an old timer. But I know that this is a life time maintenance program. I know I will never be "cured".

August252015

Congrats on 75 days SoHard.

A few things IME - first, I totally relate to the knee thing as I had what sounds like a very similar experience on my first knee (the second was later and easier)- even the breaking again of the built up cartilage. It did suck. Glad you are through that.

So, I'm an AA er not an AVRT person but to answer your original question(s)....
I was VERY sick when I quit so around 75 days I was just able to work again. I got a very simple job at Chick-Fil-A. It was exactly what I needed and could do at the time as it added another type of positive, regularly scheduled routine to my AA program.

Personally, I never wanted to drink or missed drinking. I am 2 years sober this past week. That in itself is a miracle.

Physically and emotionally I felt a shift forward around 100 days. I went through extended PAWS - have you heard of it? Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome- here's a terrific article www.digitaldharma.net and click on tab PAWS - details what a lot of us go through the first 6 mo, even up to 2 yrs. I went through nearly ALL of what is laid out.

I continued to progress, with emotional ups and downs as life came in - the new life I work hard to have and grow and keep- and I continued to learn to turn to my program first.

I could elaborate- happy to PM too- but the most important thing I can say is that being sober and living in recovery (two very different things) is the absolute best thing I have ever chosen to do. Clarity, good thinking, improved life skills, joy, a support system of both program people and normies.....so much I have gained - and the only stuff I lost was the "bad."

Best to you.

Dropsie

SoHard,

I know you are into AVRT, but have you thought about working the steps?

Even if you don't go to meetings, I think the dudes were genius in figuring out on their own how to be able to manage life on life's terms without alcohol.

I was chatting about it with Mizz. I have never done the steps, but thought, why not? There are no meetings where I live, but totally not into sitting around talking about drinking anyway (sorry, just me). But the steps are different, and to my mind much more important.

The meetings were a way to replace the social aspects of drinking and to support the step work (and to help others of course), but not an end in themselves.

There are great people here who are AA old timers that I am sure would provide help online at the steps forum.

I know that AVRT rejects the notion of one day at a time, but I think that Bill and his friends meant something different. I think they really meant to live in the now, and that the steps are a vehicle for helping us get there notwithstanding our addiction. Early Eckhart Tolle followers as it were.

Dont mourn the past or worry about the future. Live one day at a time sober, and let the universe take care of the rest.

Don't try and control more than yourself, its a total waste of time. But do try and control what you can -- stay sober, stop negative thinking, procrastinating, etc.

That is where true happiness lies.

I am so deeply happy that you made it. You have made it. Just never forget that all it takes in one sip and its back to square one. Thats the big plan. And AVRT has that down pat, and I love all the help recognising the addictive voice, which is a clever little sod.

Never quit the decision. But I don't think there is any harm in also doing the steps even if its just on your own. Because there is a huge hole in our lives where the booze used to live that needs filling. That is a fact.

Actually everyone is saying the same thing, IMHO, but where's the fun in that....