6 month retrospective.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,100
6 month retrospective.
Don't worry guys--a lot shorter than usual.
Wait--did I just apologize in advance? Crap.
My six month anniversary is upon me (tomorrow actually) and I figured I'd reflect just a little chronologically.When I read back through my posts I'm getting that I tend to be just a *little* verbose, so in the interest of self improvement I'm going to try to be more succinct..so here goes. You'll thank me later.
My sober self:
Month 1 (rehab) learning to handle emotions that I'd repressed and process accordingly. I was getting pissed off for being pissed off
Month 2 (back into the workforce) learning to manage distraction. Learning to truly gain self-acceptance. Frustration builds and then wanes. Ebbs and flows. Life's like a sine wave sometimes.
Month 3 (social dynamics) learning to not internalize what others think. They will think what they will. Focusing only on pleasing others is part of what drove me to drink. Peace sometimes cannot be had and some will not like me simply because I'm me. Continue moving forward even if others want to create friction.
Month 4 (drawing sober strength) learning to reach outside myself and tell others about my journey. SR appeared here. Never looking back and keeping the next 24 in my crosshairs.
Month 5 (managing the AV) ..the AV is unrelenting. I've heard it referred to as the 'Beast' and a beast it is. The beast doesn't try to devour but eat at my soul. Destruction is imminent if it's not held at bay.
Month 6 (redefining the self) learning that I can't define myself by my failures. Without too much rumination understand where I came from and where I'm headed. Stay in the moment. Constantly improve and never be complacent.
With regards to me being transparent in a virtual community where I'm a text-based representation of myself--I guess my giveadamn's busted..just like the song goes (forgive me if I got the title wrong, I'm not much for country/western even though I do live in Marlboro Country
). Not that I'm not aware of constraints, boundaries and rules...just that I'm not purposing not to be consumed by the concern about what others think. This is my sober journey-but also one that I can't thank you guys enough for being an integral part of.
So I figured I'd pause for some reflection and also to let a little of my inner narcissist die
Caio.
Wait--did I just apologize in advance? Crap.
My six month anniversary is upon me (tomorrow actually) and I figured I'd reflect just a little chronologically.When I read back through my posts I'm getting that I tend to be just a *little* verbose, so in the interest of self improvement I'm going to try to be more succinct..so here goes. You'll thank me later.
My sober self:
Month 1 (rehab) learning to handle emotions that I'd repressed and process accordingly. I was getting pissed off for being pissed off
Month 2 (back into the workforce) learning to manage distraction. Learning to truly gain self-acceptance. Frustration builds and then wanes. Ebbs and flows. Life's like a sine wave sometimes.
Month 3 (social dynamics) learning to not internalize what others think. They will think what they will. Focusing only on pleasing others is part of what drove me to drink. Peace sometimes cannot be had and some will not like me simply because I'm me. Continue moving forward even if others want to create friction.
Month 4 (drawing sober strength) learning to reach outside myself and tell others about my journey. SR appeared here. Never looking back and keeping the next 24 in my crosshairs.
Month 5 (managing the AV) ..the AV is unrelenting. I've heard it referred to as the 'Beast' and a beast it is. The beast doesn't try to devour but eat at my soul. Destruction is imminent if it's not held at bay.
Month 6 (redefining the self) learning that I can't define myself by my failures. Without too much rumination understand where I came from and where I'm headed. Stay in the moment. Constantly improve and never be complacent.
With regards to me being transparent in a virtual community where I'm a text-based representation of myself--I guess my giveadamn's busted..just like the song goes (forgive me if I got the title wrong, I'm not much for country/western even though I do live in Marlboro Country
). Not that I'm not aware of constraints, boundaries and rules...just that I'm not purposing not to be consumed by the concern about what others think. This is my sober journey-but also one that I can't thank you guys enough for being an integral part of.So I figured I'd pause for some reflection and also to let a little of my inner narcissist die
Caio.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Great work, Toddman.
We sure do learn a lot on our sober journey. It is true that this is yoursober road and you do have to find what will work for you. It truly does not matter what other people think or say of your journey just as long as you are comfortable and secure. The road will take on different shapes. I have learned that sobriety is not black and white. Lots of different colors and lots of different lessons.
There are so many tools that we need in our tool box. I see that you are really getting a handle on how to live and how to keep yourself healthy. That is what is the most important, in my opinion. The health of our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual bodies.
Thank you for being here and for sharing your sober journey with us!
Onwards and Upwards!
We sure do learn a lot on our sober journey. It is true that this is yoursober road and you do have to find what will work for you. It truly does not matter what other people think or say of your journey just as long as you are comfortable and secure. The road will take on different shapes. I have learned that sobriety is not black and white. Lots of different colors and lots of different lessons.
There are so many tools that we need in our tool box. I see that you are really getting a handle on how to live and how to keep yourself healthy. That is what is the most important, in my opinion. The health of our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual bodies.
Thank you for being here and for sharing your sober journey with us!
Onwards and Upwards!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 547
Good work Toddman. I am at a similar point where I am attempting to sort out all the emotional baggage and do some work on the self, suppressing the ego and working on humility. It isn't easy but it is rewarding.
Congratulations in advance for 6 months, I am about 4 days behind you.
Congratulations in advance for 6 months, I am about 4 days behind you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,100
Originally Posted by Mizzuno 
Great work, Toddman.
We sure do learn a lot on our sober journey. It is true that this is yoursober road and you do have to find what will work for you. It truly does not matter what other people think or say of your journey just as long as you are comfortable and secure. The road will take on different shapes. I have learned that sobriety is not black and white. Lots of different colors and lots of different lessons.
There are so many tools that we need in our tool box. I see that you are really getting a handle on how to live and how to keep yourself healthy. That is what is the most important, in my opinion. The health of our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual bodies.
Thank you for being here and for sharing your sober journey with us!
Onwards and Upwards!
We sure do learn a lot on our sober journey. It is true that this is yoursober road and you do have to find what will work for you. It truly does not matter what other people think or say of your journey just as long as you are comfortable and secure. The road will take on different shapes. I have learned that sobriety is not black and white. Lots of different colors and lots of different lessons.
There are so many tools that we need in our tool box. I see that you are really getting a handle on how to live and how to keep yourself healthy. That is what is the most important, in my opinion. The health of our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual bodies.
Thank you for being here and for sharing your sober journey with us!
Onwards and Upwards!
Thanks for the kind and insightful words. True indeed. The holistic approach is what I began this with and only what I'll continue with.
By the way...I think I killed your recovery thread LOL
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Brilliant post, which shows how unflinchingly self aware you have become in your journey from abstinence to sobriety.
Very useful to me as well, really put stuff in perspective. I am working on 6 in order to get back to 2! And that’s ok.
Keep it up. Life is good. Keep drinking off the table and your lessons, which have become habits, will keep it that way.
Very useful to me as well, really put stuff in perspective. I am working on 6 in order to get back to 2! And that’s ok.
Keep it up. Life is good. Keep drinking off the table and your lessons, which have become habits, will keep it that way.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Congratulations on six months, The Toddman, that’s an awesome achievement! 
Brilliant post setting out your self-discovery and growth. Your ‘text based representation’ of your sober-self is glowing on screen!
Posted these elsewhere, but thought you might like them, from George Bernard Shaw:
“Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.”
“We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.”
Brilliant post setting out your self-discovery and growth. Your ‘text based representation’ of your sober-self is glowing on screen!
Posted these elsewhere, but thought you might like them, from George Bernard Shaw:
“Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.”
“We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.”
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 1,100
DD,
A *lot* of overlap for sure. Abstract aspects seemed to traverse all of the months so I tried to use concrete ones (e.g. work, IRL recovery group and SR involvement) to delineate each phase. So not as sequential as it may seem from my description. Very much a tapestry man as you alluded to.
Well put!
T.
A *lot* of overlap for sure. Abstract aspects seemed to traverse all of the months so I tried to use concrete ones (e.g. work, IRL recovery group and SR involvement) to delineate each phase. So not as sequential as it may seem from my description. Very much a tapestry man as you alluded to.
Well put!
T.
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