hummingbird358

Just wondering what finally made you realize you needed to get help and stop drinking?
How old were you?
Did you resist help up until that point?
Did you have to go to rehab or do it on your own?

Cosima11

Ok I quit smoking and am kinda bored out of my mind so I'll respond to this in depth lol sorry for the long reply.

It was many, many factors but basically just realizing things were getting progressively worse and would only continue that way. The most dramatic factor is probably that I was lucky to never get a DUI but knew my luck would run out eventually and didn't want to end up in jail. Beyond that I was basically miserable and saw no future for myself.

I was 26 on my first serious attempt to stop (had a couple one month stints throughout that year). I finally decided to quit for good in October and turned 27 in January. The fact that I've already reached the point it takes most drinkers decades to reach is... upsetting. I feel disadvantaged honestly.

Yes I suppose I resisted help (although no help was blatantly offered to me, I just avoided people and situations where anyone would have something to say about it). Quitting for me is tied up in a love story gone wrong.. he wanted me to stop before I wanted it for myself, disaster ensued. But ultimately I did stop and I allowed myself to be in that situation to begin with so I can't give him all the credit.

No rehab. Extremely grateful that I've somehow reached this point without any drastic measures or consequences and that I might still have a chance at living a happy and fulfilling life.

Mizzuno

I knew with certainty that I was alcoholic at 27 years old. I cannot control the amount or myself when I consume.

No one brought it to my attention or tried to intervene. Alcoholics attract other alcoholics, in my opinion. I lived a party lifestyle for a really long time. I knew it would not work forever and I took many measures to stop it throughout my twenties and now in to my later thirties.

This "issue" will be with me for life. There were times when I was able to "control" it and there have been plenty of times where drinking was too much for me.

I was destroying myself about one year ago. Attending work. Attending to my responsibilities but it was all catching up. Hung over daily and unable to cope with my emotional state. Every single time I have quit drinking has been of on my own admission and through a break down because of knowing I was meant to do better things with myself.

It is a tiring game. This is my 4th serious attempt at sobriety. Possibly more attempts... I cant remember. I just keep coming to the same conclusion. I cannot drink and it is not meant for me.

Also... Drinking creates a lot of anxiety. It creates a lot of "negative" thinking. It can create suicidal thoughts. At least this was the case for me when I was recovering from a severe drinking night. The anxiety can last for about a week.
(Just in reference to your son who is dealing with a lot of emotional dis-ease right now)

FenwayFaithful

Two two times I went to treatment voluntarily I was 23 and 26 respectively. I went because I wanted to die, drinking had me so low I felt like I had nothing to live for.

However I was also pushed by my family. The first time they drove to my apartment and found it as mess of empty liquor bottles, me unshowered for days and the place a disaster, they brought me to their home told me no drinking I was drunk by noon the next day, stayed sober for about 2 months

The time after that I tried heroin (alcohol wasn’t helping anymore) and overdosed the second time I did it, so I pretty much had to go to treatment per doctors/family but I wanted to go but really just wanted the pain to stop, didn’t really wanna he sober
Relapsed about 6 weeks after I left treatment and ended up back in treatment for 90 days, that was 2.5 years ago now and the time I was forced to choose bt homelessness or treatment and I came very close to choosing the latter
I was sober almost 2 years before I relapsed on alcohol/weed after my last stint in treatment
I’ve been drinking on and off for the last few months but pretty much stopped when I found out I was pregnant in Oct (but has a few episodes in recent weeks)
So I wouldn’t say I’m in recovery but I’m trying to get it back. Treatment won’t keep you sober but it gave me time away from everything and helped get sober which I hadn’t been able to accomplish alone. I also learned a lot of tools there
The things is the alcoholic mine always says we aren’t sick enough or bad enough or aren’t a real alcoholic etc, most of the time non alcoholics don’t have to think about whether or not they’re an alcoholic
The disease is truly cunning baffeling and powerful tho
Personally for me I have never felt better then when I was working an honest program and surrounded by positive sober people I just fell away from that and started working on my relapse instead of my recovery

BullDog777

When I realized I needed help, I was in my early 20's. I tried a handfull of times till I got to be 35 or so. A couple of rehabs, AA, no long term sobriety....well...nothing past like 6-9 months.

At 37 or so i found this place. I got off the pills (i was a big benzo addict too) and after a year or year and some change, i went back out for 4 more years. My withdrawal that time was a nightmare, but i always thought i had another recovery in me.

This time it was get sober or die trying. My organs had sustained severe damage, and I was on borrowed time. Drs said i didn't have another recovery in me. So for the first time in my life, I let it go. I spent almost 4 months in the hospital and in rehab and then IOP.

Got into therapy...a few more days it'll be 2 years clean and sober.

I complain a lot, but life is truely beautiful.

Dave42001

Great post, thanks for sharing!

I was given the gift of desperation! I was sick and tired of who I was and what I had become! I realized that if I continued down the road I was on, I would not be alive much longer. I was slowly and steadily drinking my self to death! Total insanity!!

I was in denial until the day I decided that I could not continue to live another day the way I was living!

I didn’t go to rehab but have nothing but the most respect for inpatient recovery. I took a year off of my life, moved in with a family member. I got involved in AA and attended 2-4 meetings a day for over a year got a sponsor, worked the steps, I changed EVERYTHING in my life. Recovery and my soberity are still today my number one priority in life!

I still go to 3-5 meetings a week, I’m here reading and posting daily on SR. I have a great job and I’m finally at peace with myself. I’ll have 3 years sober on April 20th!

There are many programs of recovery, mine just happend to be AA . And SR and all the wonderful members here have played a huge part of my recovery!

Gottalife

I tried a few things and had a few things tried on me like a court ordered rehab. I learnt a few things but was not instilled with any desire to stay sober.

I became a raving lunatic by age 22, at which point I would do anything for the misery and madness to stop. I became an aa baby, that is to say I recovered entirely within the aa program.

I didn’t just go to AA. I didn’t just try AA. I fully joined AA and got boots and all into adopting the AA program as a way of life. And it worked just as promised.

I am not a complete fool though I did secure an unconditional misery back guarantee if I ever wanted to go back to self reliance.

Vandermast

well to answer the question:

got sober in aa 27 years of age, stayed that way for 7 years.....nervous breakdown, relapse for 2 years....rehab.....sober 2 years, relapse for 3 years, rehab....sober 1 year.....relapse approx 2 years....in recovery again now.....early 40s.

hell of a ride I can tell you.

sober one day at a time

van

tomsteve

hummingbird, please note everyone is different. people get help at different stages of alcoholism.
for me, im like dave- it was the gift of desperation. the pain of getting drunk had finally exceeded the pain of reality.my fiance had had enough and tossed me to the curb. it was a wise move for her-just as it was a wise move for anyone around me to walk away from me when i was drinking- i was only going to drag them down with me if they stuck around. if they were going to experience anything like i was experiencing, there was going to be a LOT of gloom,dispair, and agony for them,too.

this was after years of my family bailing me out at every "bottom." but i kept digging.
i cant say i resisted help in the past because my family was wise enough to know they couldnt force me sober.
i was 36.i walked into the rooms of AA. ive havent drank since.

i have hope for your son. i truly hope he makes the decision to get help on his own.

steve-in-kville

As mentioned, we're all different.

I knew I had a problem about two years before I quit for good. Sobered up one summer and by fall I thought I could handle the occasional bourbon or two. I was wrong. That was followed by various lengths of sobriety and relapses.

The final breaking point was to accept some hurts that were done to me, stop blaming them for my addiction, get into a good place spiritually and emotionally, and have a solid plan in place. I basically am re-building my life right now... I don't have near all the answers! But I'm finally in good place where I can heal.

PeacefulWater12

I quit drinking with the support of an online site, then I realised I needed a program of recovery so embraced the 12 steps. I live my life in them. I find it a great way to live.

I think its about finding what works for you. Also depending on your background.

I am in several 12 step groups. Al-anon, ACOA, AA & OA.

I think with recovery one size doesn't fit all. We have to create our own package.

AnonSara

I was 35 when I first acknowledge the problem with my drinking. But the reality was I was a "functional alcoholic" since at least age 18. My "functional" status made acknowledging the problem harder.

I realized I needed to do something different because I would think about drinking the majority of the day, obsess about having enough alcohol and even after promising myself not to drink I seriously would be shocked to realize I was holding a drink in my hand.

Luckily I knew someone who was in AA and he "had what I wanted" so I did what he did, and it helped.

Zebra1275

I was 26 when I realized I was an alcoholic.

For the next 20 years I tried to moderate my drinking. I drank on probably 98% of the days during that time, but most nights it was just a few drinks to relax after work. I was quite successful professionally, so I was able to keep it hidden. On Friday and Saturday nights, I ramped that up a bit, but never in public. I was a social drinker in public and a drunk in private.

I kept my drinking pretty well hidden, not even my wife realized how much/often I drank. And gradually I had to increase my nightly intake as my tolerance grew. At 47 I ended up on a multi-day bender and my wife had to take me to the hospital. I got some medical help to detox, and then came home and tried to quit by myself, and there was pressure to do that since now my wife knew.

Eventually I got 5 1/2 years sober, just on my own. Not really sure how I managed that. Then I got complacent and thought I was cured, and relapsed. After a year of trying to get sober again, I found this website and finally went to AA. That worked and I've now been sober almost 8 years.

Pagekeeper

What was it ... Well, it could've been the strange woman I'd never seen before who knocked on my door one morning after a blackout and asked if I was okay. It could have been waking up in a detox with an IV in my arm and no recollection of the day before. It could have been that my child was taken away from me. It could have been that I bought crack in a blackout, but fortunately, didn't know how to smoke it. It could have been the suicidal thoughts ... or the homicidal ones. It could have been a lot of things, but it wasn't any of them. I certainly wasn't any smarter about my drinking after having experienced any of these things because I just kept drinking. So, I believe, for me, it was the Grace of God. I have no other explanation for it, honestly.

I was 33 when I took my last drink. Resist? Not at that time. Complete surrender. I don't know that I ever resisted the idea of not being an alcoholic, I just could't stop drinking for the life of me. I had been in detox several times, but the final time I just surrendered and went to a meeting.

DeepSouth101

I'm 38 years old, and have been trying to get clean for the past three years. Started binge drinking with friends at age 14, which turned into a nearly 25 year habit of regular and sometimes daily heavy drinking. I attended AA meetings for awhile but at that time wasn't completely serious about stopping. My wife left me a few months back and I went into a downward spiral where I was drinking more than ever, and every day as well. Knowing I couldn't go on like this and live for long, I went to the Doc earlier this week and came clean about the level of my consumption. He prescribed Antabuse and Klonopin to help me safely Detox at home, and I'm going to start seeing a Substance Abuse counselor next week. I'm on day 3 of sobriety. Feeling a little anxious and having some strong cravings, especially in the evenings. But I know what will happen if I pop a top with Antabuse in my system. Good 'ol adversion therapy.

August252015

Regardless of what any of us do - what will you do? I chose to go to any lengths, any costs to get sober and live in recovery.

Best to you. Hope to see you around.

Sasha4

I was 38 years old when I finally said no more, thats it, I am done.

My reasons were that I had had enough of feeling rubbish and people being cross with me over my drinking.

I had known from my 30th birthday that I was not in a good place with my drinking.

I dipped in and out of AA.

I spent a fortune on a private therapy to find out why I dank so much.
I realised after attending AA for free, I drank too much because I liked alcohol too much!!

I then got pregnant and had my daughter.
I realised that I should have devoted more time to recovery before I had my baby.
I did not have the time available to work on recovery every single day as I had a tiny baby and was knee deep in nappies and feeding and sleeping for about 3 hours a night.

I took day by day.
I never looked too far ahead.
I came here a lot and read and asked for support.
I dealt with many tough life stresses but never drank. I cried but I never drank.
Now I am 6 years sober.

I hope thats helpful.
Wishing you the best xx

JeffreyAK

I'm not sure I ever did realize it, at least not until I was already in rehab. For some bizarre reason I thought my drinking wasn't too far out of the normal range (it was roughly a 12-pack of beer or equivalent every night, more on weekends) and it wasn't causing me major problems and no one noticed anyways, and if it was abnormal it was because I was "special" and needed it, and other people just wouldn't understand so that's why I had to hide it. My employer intervened and forced me to get help, which of course I resented tremendously, "how dare they??", but that's what got me on the path to stop drinking. It was six more months before I finally did stop drinking, in the mean time I was really just trying to figure out how to game the system and keep drinking, minus all the negative consequences.

MindfulMan

I drank on and off for years. There were periods of sobriety interspersed. I quit for 7 months after a particularly nasty benzo and alcohol withdrawal. At the time I was living with a handle a day vodka alcoholic. I was so put off by the behavior that it was easy to stay sober. I remained sober through the next roommate, who was in recovery from oxy and cocaine for nearly 5 years at the time. She and her friends called me a "normie," and at that time I was behaving like one. This gradually escalated for 5 years, in fits and starts, starting with binge drinking with the next roommate and increasing daily drinking, slowly but surely.

I hardly drank in my 20s. I binge drank in college and when I got out and started working, I completely gave up weed and mostly didn't drink. I would buy a bottle of wine and throw it out before I'd finished it because it would go bad.

This, of course, meant that I wasn't an addict or an alcoholic.

The last binge of alcohol and pills had horrible health consequences that put me into rehab. This was clearly not "normal" drinking and drugging. I started to look at my life and realized that it was a series of episodic addictions, not a "normie" life interspersed with "episodes."

For the first time in my life I made the conscious at 55. So far, so good.

NYCDoglvr

It was shortly before Christmas and my brother brought me a beautiful tree for apartment. On a typical Saturday night I decided to decorate it and needed the right alcohol for the occasion. Had given up red wine but had two bottles of 1986 St. Emillion and hey, it's red and it's Christmas. Next thing I knew I woke up in ER strapped to a gurney. In a blackout I decided to take 100 Valium (26 years later I still don't know why). Friend who couldn't reach me let himself into apartment. Hospital invited me to stay three days, psych ward full so they strapped me down to a bed in regular part of hospital in a room with woman suffering from diabetes. Doctors, on rounds, would point to her and say: "that's diabetes" then point to me and say "pills and alcohol."

Finally my personal doctor came for a visit, looked at chart, shook his head and said "I'm very sorry" and walked away.