Travissss

Hey all. I'm a few days away from 6 moths. It's been great overall but I still have some thoughts and cravings to drink. My SO is going on a trip for work very soon and I'm worried I will fail. First thing I thought of was taking this opportunity to drink. I want to drink but I know I shouldn't and and I won't be able to stop but somethings still kinda driving me to do it anyway. Thanks for listening.

Zebra1275

My SO is going on a trip for work very soon and I'm worried I will fail

Sounds like your sobriety depends on the oversight and accountability of another person. That's a really dangerous spot to be in.

If you go off on a bender and your significant other calls home, how are you going to handle that? It's really hard to sound sober on the phone when you are drinking. And if they come right and ask you "have you been drinking?" it means they already know the answer. How are you going to handle that?

If it were me, I would do something desperate like go to an AA meeting.

entropy1964

Hi Travis

I read back through some of your old posts. From what I read it sounds like drinking could possibly end your new marriage. Have you really thought through that?

You also said you started to attend AA. You thought AA was silly but were ready to try some 'real' help. How did that go? Have you shared this in a meeting or with a sponsor?

I know for me I had to utterly smash any notions that drinking will ever be a good idea. I have also realized that drinking only relieves the obsession to drink, momentarily. The actual affects of the alcohol only serve to depress me...and then cravings return and I can't stop once I've started. Then I drink to the point of bad things happening. Then I have to detox and start all over again.

Have you really thought this through?

Travissss

I have not thought this through, and I realize it's a terrible idea and could end my marriage, that's why I came here, to maybe try to shake that urge. I Havnt attended AA in 3 months due to life becoming a bit hectic. But maybe I should go back. Restore some sense that what I'm going through is better than drinking. I have been so confident for the most part but it's creeping away as time goes on it seems

biminiblue

I live alone and have no family around. I quit drinking and had to be my own boss - which to be fair, I prefer.

It is completely possible to grow up and not drink, and not depend on anyone elses' opinions or rules. It is an inside job. This is about my integrity and my own clear conscience. My health and sanity depend upon it.

There have been a lot of threads lately about drinking because the wife is away. It always sounds to me like a naughty four year old whenever I read them. Like the wife is actually the mommy and it sounds so unhealthy to me. I have to admit, I never really understand giving someone else that kind of power.

I had some tough days at nearly six months, too. I'm really glad I stuck it out and didn't give in, but I think it's common to have increased thoughts of drinking around this time. Doesn't mean drinking has to happen. It's just a thought.

It's worth it to remain sober.

biminiblue

I'd also add, spend more time on this site, there is a deep well of wisdom here in thousands of threads. It was really helpful to me to join in some ongoing threads with other alcoholics. I have to remember who I am and remind myself where I came from.

ScottFromWI

Sounds like a great idea to go back to meetings if they were helpful in the past Travisss. Complacency is a very dangerous thing, and it's quite common for people to move away from whatever it was that helped them get sober as we somehow thing we are "better" and don't need it anymore. I did the exact same thing multiple times in my quest to get sober - quit, followed a plan, and moved away from the plan after a few months as I thought I had it licked.

All it takes is literally one sip to put you right back where you started - so it's a really good thing you came here first. Get to a meeting, spend some time here, do whatever it takes to restore your daily work and you'll be able to make it through the week just fine.

Gottalife

A lot of people say they slipped after they stopped going to meetings. I think it is a little deeper than that. Your life got hectic, which means other things became more important than your sobriety.

A lot of people stop going to meetings because they feel they are not getting anything out of it. I talked to a guy the other day with a couple of years dry. He was gonna leave because nothing had changed. He was surprised to learn there was a whole program of recovery contained in the big book. Nobody ever told him about that, he didn’t know how important it was.

The other reason I find that makes meetings unrewarding for me, is if I put nothing in, I get less than nothing out. If I dump my rubbish in a meeting, it seems to get amplified. If I don’t get involved, I feel apart, like I don’t belong. If I don’t try and live the program, I have less in common.

AA isn’t a support group. It is a spiritual program of action which enriches lives. And it works backwards. If you expect to get something for nothing in AA you will be disappointed.

Here is an example. I went to a convention one time, really looking forward to the meetings all through the day which would have speakers from all over the country. My group was hosting it. Once the first meeting for started, nearly all our guys deserted their posts. I noticed that no one was washing coffee cups and we would soon run out. The guys in the business meetings, doing service, they like their coffee breaks. So I spent all day washing cups. Never got to a single meeting. Yet I left at days end with the feeling that I had really done something useful, an inner satisfaction that service brings. It was the best convention I ever went to.

I could have just joined everyone else, and joined the critical chorus about the lack of organisation blah blah. Instead I was part of the solution. No one had any complaints as it turns out.

Dee74

Some great advice here Travisss
Be the man you want to be, man

D