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You know what I hate?

Old 02-19-2018, 11:42 AM
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Samantha
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You know what I hate?

When people constantly ask “have you been drinking?” When you haven’t been!!
Like no, I have no been, if I was I’d probably be blacked out, and you’d damn well know it.
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Old 02-19-2018, 12:53 PM
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Usually when my wife asked me this, I was guilty!
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Old 02-19-2018, 01:08 PM
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It takes time to gain trust back - or at least it did for me. Hang in there Anarock

D
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Old 02-19-2018, 01:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Anarock View Post
When people constantly ask “have you been drinking?” When you haven’t been!!
Like no, I have no been, if I was I’d probably be blacked out, and you’d damn well know it.
it can be nervewracking.

maybe next time it occurs you could ask what makes them think that?
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Old 02-19-2018, 01:36 PM
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Samantha
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I spelled something wrong in a text message which happens all the time!!
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Old 02-19-2018, 01:40 PM
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yes, it's annoying but think about it from the other side for a minute. How many times did you lie about it in the past? How do you it think that it made others feel? It takes a long time to regain that trust that we lost.
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Old 02-19-2018, 03:38 PM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
yes, it's annoying but think about it from the other side for a minute. How many times did you lie about it in the past? How do you it think that it made others feel? It takes a long time to regain that trust that we lost.
This^^^
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Old 02-19-2018, 03:57 PM
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Even just reading those words makes me cringe like no other because whenever they were said to me I was guilty. I hated the way the words were said too. A mixture of disgust, pity and often angry disappointment.
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Old 02-19-2018, 08:01 PM
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I got a lot of....why are you not drinking? People only knew me as Wayne the alcoholic. It was sad. Thank God them days are over.
I guess it takes awhile for people close to you to begin trust. They will figure it out. Just keep going Anarock. It's all going to be fine. Just don't drink.
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Old 02-19-2018, 09:30 PM
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Originally Posted by steve-in-kville View Post
Usually when my wife asked me this, I was guilty!
So, so true. Ah wasted days.

There's much life ahead though.
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Old 02-19-2018, 10:01 PM
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Unfortunately every time i was asked if I'd been drinking the answer was usually yes.

Although I would rarely admit it.
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Old 02-20-2018, 05:49 AM
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It took some time for the people I had lied to for years and let down for years to recover from the harm I had done to them. Being open and honest with them helped speed the process as did making amends (and amends are much more than saying "I'm sorry" - it's offering to do and actually DOING what they ask to repair the damage I did).

Just like I was asking them to forgive me for hurting them, I found a lot of relief in forgiving them for asking questions I didn't like. Recognizing that it was my actions that created and led to their mistrust helps me let them off the hook faster.
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Old 02-20-2018, 12:18 PM
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Originally Posted by DayTrader View Post
It took some time for the people I had lied to for years and let down for years to recover from the harm I had done to them.
Great point, DayTrader.
Sometimes when I appear upset or out of sorts, a family member may discretely ask "You haven't been drinking, have you?" (out of worry -- not as an accusation) and that is frustrating.

But I came to terms with the fact that I sort of forfeited my right to get upset about that, at least in the short term, through the worry I put my family through when I was drinking. I'm coming up on two years sober...which I think is a great start, but still within the window where I don't think it's unreasonable for a close family member to worry about the possibility of me relapsing
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Old 02-20-2018, 06:10 PM
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Beats my friends I tell one of my best friends I'm on the wagon again after he invited me to his birthday party this weekend. His response oh stop we both know your going to drink again might as well start now.
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Old 02-20-2018, 06:19 PM
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I ended a friendship over someone always asking me if i had slipped. After about the 12th time, i told him...

"obviously you have no faith in me or my commitment to my life. my new way of living says if you're not good for me, you're bad for me and if you're bad for me you have to go."

I told him to get lost. I haven't talked to him in almost 2 years. It is what it is.
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Old 02-20-2018, 06:41 PM
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Originally Posted by BullDog777 View Post
I ended a friendship over someone always asking me if i had slipped. After about the 12th time, i told him...

"obviously you have no faith in me or my commitment to my life. my new way of living says if you're not good for me, you're bad for me and if you're bad for me you have to go."

I told him to get lost. I haven't talked to him in almost 2 years. It is what it is.
Someone like that was probably never much of a friend to begin with. After the 4th or 5th time he knew you didn't like his asking.

Yet, he continued doing so anyway.
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Old 02-20-2018, 06:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Ken33xx View Post
Unfortunately every time i was asked if I'd been drinking the answer was usually yes.

Although I would rarely admit it.
Me too but I followed up with "I only had a couple." My wife could look at me from across the room and know I was drinking.
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Old 02-20-2018, 07:07 PM
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Originally Posted by wastedpotential View Post
Beats my friends I tell one of my best friends I'm on the wagon again after he invited me to his birthday party this weekend. His response oh stop we both know your going to drink again might as well start now.
My mum told me almost the same. Said that since I’m in a new city with easy access to alcohol I’ll start again.
Then I went to AA.
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