I drank :(
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 30
I drank :(
Hi everyone so I drank 
and have been on a 3 day bender coming off it now and feeling generally crap. I hate this awful addiction and really do want to get better. The off license opens at 9, it is now 8.44 and I知 really fighting the temptation to not drink again I知 in such a mess, please help!
and have been on a 3 day bender coming off it now and feeling generally crap. I hate this awful addiction and really do want to get better. The off license opens at 9, it is now 8.44 and I知 really fighting the temptation to not drink again I知 in such a mess, please help!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Its terrible.
We have all been there.
You know that if you go it will just continue the cycle until you eventually have to stop.
Why not just make that now. Its going to suck whenever, but the sooner you start the sooner its over and you can get back to living.
You are worth it.
We have all been there.
You know that if you go it will just continue the cycle until you eventually have to stop.
Why not just make that now. Its going to suck whenever, but the sooner you start the sooner its over and you can get back to living.
You are worth it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
You know FL, there is never going to come a day when this cycle will be easy to break. When the first weeks or month of sobriety will be comfortable. BUT, it is possible to lean into those cravings and those impulses to drink, and to work on our recovery, and gradually, gradually things get easier. But in order to get to that calm, peaceful, comfortable sobriety we do have to get through those tough days.
I remember thinking that I most be doing it all wrong because those first weeks / months seemed so uphill. It's not the case though. There isn't a right way that will be pain free. To an extent we just need to accept that it WILL be uncomfortable, but it will also be well worth sitting through that discomfort. Recovery work can make things easier, and bring about that peaceful sobriety a bit quicker and lessen the pain somewhat.
The questions to ask yourself are, am I willing to do what it takes. To sit with those feelings in the short term in order to get long term peace and for my life to improve in ways that I can't even begin to imagine now? Am I willing to work in my recovery this time so that my sobriety is more likely to be sustainable, comfortable and some day preferable to active alcoholism? These are questions that only we can answer for ourselves. For a while my answers were actually NO. I was not willing to suffer any short term discomfort. I was not willing to (as I saw it) humiliate myself by working a program of recovery. And for that time, to be honest, I really just wanted to get rid of the consequences of drinking rather than deal with the problem of my alcoholism. I was dealing in complaints, not seeking to solve problems. I needed to slip a little further down to a new rock bottom, and that's what I did, until I received the gift of desperation that brought me willingness to live in the solution.
I wish you all the best for your journey through sobriety to recovery and a new life. Whether you choose to start it today, or hold on for when things have deteriorated that bit further (which they will if we keep drinking).
BB
I remember thinking that I most be doing it all wrong because those first weeks / months seemed so uphill. It's not the case though. There isn't a right way that will be pain free. To an extent we just need to accept that it WILL be uncomfortable, but it will also be well worth sitting through that discomfort. Recovery work can make things easier, and bring about that peaceful sobriety a bit quicker and lessen the pain somewhat.
The questions to ask yourself are, am I willing to do what it takes. To sit with those feelings in the short term in order to get long term peace and for my life to improve in ways that I can't even begin to imagine now? Am I willing to work in my recovery this time so that my sobriety is more likely to be sustainable, comfortable and some day preferable to active alcoholism? These are questions that only we can answer for ourselves. For a while my answers were actually NO. I was not willing to suffer any short term discomfort. I was not willing to (as I saw it) humiliate myself by working a program of recovery. And for that time, to be honest, I really just wanted to get rid of the consequences of drinking rather than deal with the problem of my alcoholism. I was dealing in complaints, not seeking to solve problems. I needed to slip a little further down to a new rock bottom, and that's what I did, until I received the gift of desperation that brought me willingness to live in the solution.
I wish you all the best for your journey through sobriety to recovery and a new life. Whether you choose to start it today, or hold on for when things have deteriorated that bit further (which they will if we keep drinking).
BB
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
florida, youve been a member here 3 1/2 years.18 posts in that time.
in october you said you were offered treatment many times were going to accept help.
what happened with that? how much help can we give when ya drop in every couple months? what kind of help can we give when we dont know whats going on?
in october you said you were offered treatment many times were going to accept help.
what happened with that? how much help can we give when ya drop in every couple months? what kind of help can we give when we dont know whats going on?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 30
Thank-you for your messages everyone 
I gave into temptation I actually stood outside waiting for them to open like a stereotypical alcoholic ;( ;( I知 sipping on cans of cider as coming off the vodka was just getting too much. I知 a nurse and have already been warned that I will lose my job if this continues, so I知 too scared to medically detox. Going to my first AA meeting soon so feeling good about that
I gave into temptation I actually stood outside waiting for them to open like a stereotypical alcoholic ;( ;( I知 sipping on cans of cider as coming off the vodka was just getting too much. I知 a nurse and have already been warned that I will lose my job if this continues, so I知 too scared to medically detox. Going to my first AA meeting soon so feeling good about that 12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I can relate FL. When I was mid bender, no power on earth, short of locking me up, could stop me drinking. It's done when it's done,and usually at the end there is a small window of opportunity and willingness (WOW) to get the help we need.
My last bender was intended to be just two beers and ended up being four days worth, by which time I was too sick to continue. I had my last drink on a Saturday night, sick as on Sunday, but by Sunday night I was back in AA, ready and willing to do what it takes. Never drank again.
My last bender was intended to be just two beers and ended up being four days worth, by which time I was too sick to continue. I had my last drink on a Saturday night, sick as on Sunday, but by Sunday night I was back in AA, ready and willing to do what it takes. Never drank again.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by FloridaLove 
I知 a nurse and have already been warned that I will lose my job if this continues, so I知 too scared to medically detox.
You know, AA same as here can't stop you taking a drink. Only YOU can do that. How about tipping that rubbish away, drawing a line under this craziness, and getting to that AA meeting TODAY?
BB
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 675
Is there some way your job would work with you if you were willing to seek treatment?
I've been binge watching the show Nurse Jackie.. obviously real life circumstances may be a bit different lol. I don't know what kind of withdrawals you're facing but of course you know it's important to be safe. Beyond that all I can say is there really is hope no matter how many times we screw up..
I've been binge watching the show Nurse Jackie.. obviously real life circumstances may be a bit different lol. I don't know what kind of withdrawals you're facing but of course you know it's important to be safe. Beyond that all I can say is there really is hope no matter how many times we screw up..
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,919
I知 a nurse and have already been warned that I will lose my job if this continues, so I知 too scared to medically detox
3 day benders are the worst, I've been on several in my life. 3 day benders can lead to 4 and 5 day benders and eventually round the clock, everyday drinking. Alcoholism is progressive and it can kill you.
When you detox, get medical help if you need it, don't avoid it because of your profession. Your health comes first. I know several nurses in AA who went to treatment and are still employed. Heck, I know a couple of doctor's too.
Being in the health care field does not make you immune to addiction. Getting treatment can help you beat this, and also help keep you employed in your chosen profession.
3 day benders are the worst, I've been on several in my life. 3 day benders can lead to 4 and 5 day benders and eventually round the clock, everyday drinking. Alcoholism is progressive and it can kill you.
When you detox, get medical help if you need it, don't avoid it because of your profession. Your health comes first. I know several nurses in AA who went to treatment and are still employed. Heck, I know a couple of doctor's too.
Being in the health care field does not make you immune to addiction. Getting treatment can help you beat this, and also help keep you employed in your chosen profession.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
FL - Going on that bender did nothing for you - only made you anxious & miserable. Maybe you'll be more determined now - there's nothing in it for us. Not now, not ever. Glad you're going to a meeting - let us know how it goes. We're with you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Geordie Land
Posts: 380
While I take the AVRT approach to stopping drinking, so believe not in a disease, but a maverick biological drive (the Beast) I do agree with tomsteve, this drive must be treated like the brutal enemy it is, to life itself, if you do not arrest it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 30
Hey just an update! I ended up getting Librium from my G.P and he signed me off on the sick for 2 weeks. I went to my second a.a meeting today. Going to spend my time off going to as many meetings as possible
just an update! I ended up getting Librium from my G.P and he signed me off on the sick for 2 weeks. I went to my second a.a meeting today. Going to spend my time off going to as many meetings as possible Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Great that you are doing this! I assume from this you aren't drinking.
If you have an urge to pick up, please come here first and/or find a meeting anything but don't drink.
Why don't you join the February class and there is a great 24 hour SR "hotline" that is monitored.
One foot in front of the other together we go! I agree with others that this is a battle for your life, all the more reason to do it together!!
If you have an urge to pick up, please come here first and/or find a meeting anything but don't drink.
Why don't you join the February class and there is a great 24 hour SR "hotline" that is monitored.
One foot in front of the other together we go! I agree with others that this is a battle for your life, all the more reason to do it together!!
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by FloridaLove
Hey just an update! I ended up getting Librium from my G.P and he signed me off on the sick for 2 weeks. I went to my second a.a meeting today. Going to spend my time off going to as many meetings as possible
just an update! I ended up getting Librium from my G.P and he signed me off on the sick for 2 weeks. I went to my second a.a meeting today. Going to spend my time off going to as many meetings as possible 
I would also suggest that you stick close to SR, read and participate.
You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 568
Originally Posted by Cosima11
Is there some way your job would work with you if you were willing to seek treatment?
I've been binge watching the show Nurse Jackie.. obviously real life circumstances may be a bit different lol. I don't know what kind of withdrawals you're facing but of course you know it's important to be safe. Beyond that all I can say is there really is hope no matter how many times we screw up..
I've been binge watching the show Nurse Jackie.. obviously real life circumstances may be a bit different lol. I don't know what kind of withdrawals you're facing but of course you know it's important to be safe. Beyond that all I can say is there really is hope no matter how many times we screw up..
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by FloridaLove
Hey G.P and he signed me off on the sick for 2 weeks. I went to my second a.a meeting today. Going to spend my time off going to as many meetings as possible
G.P and he signed me off on the sick for 2 weeks. I went to my second a.a meeting today. Going to spend my time off going to as many meetings as possible
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