Thankful and Coping
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
Thankful and Coping
I am so thankful right now for getting good practices in place and reinforcing them.
I am relatively new to sobriety, sober since Oct 23/17 I also never listen to what I should do
I’ve been on vacation, gone to restaurants I used to drink in, gone to dances and parties, been around booze, there is currently 2 or 3 cases of beer from an event my company did and whiskey, Baileys… you get the picture, in my home.
Two weeks ago a freak accident for my father in law rocked our world. He is currently on life support, which will be withdrawn this week, my mother in law just was admitted to hospital, the stress has taken a toll on her heart. My husband has flown to be with them, my son flew out on a different flight but the same day as his Dad – they were both also down there immediately after the accident. I fly with my girls Thursday.
We have our home listed and anticipate a quick sell, we have all offers being held until we return, there is nothing I want to buy. Not sure why 100 acre horse ranch on waterfront within a 50km radius, with no work to do to the house and a house under 10 years old is such a difficult thing to find
Today while talking to the school, my daughter’s teacher asked, how are you even handling this – I used to joke, when people heard things like we have horses and dogs and kids, I own two companies and founded a non-profit, how I coped, that I drank. People would laugh it off, nobody believed it, but it was true.
Drinking is the farthest thing from my mind. Keeping the dogs and kids from mucking up the house, keeping the barn clean, finding someone to do chores, rearranging schedules, booking flights and hotels and cars – only daddy and I get the cars
Unfortunately bereavement rates require direct calls, instead of just booking everything together and we just got back from vacation, 7 flights at almost $1,000 each less than a month after a family vacation, I have to get the bereavement rates!
I am not actively working on me, I can’t, this is the first death of a grandparent for my kids, my father in law is young, my husband is heart broken, now his mom. I need to focus on them, help them and keep the home fires burning, remember to transfer money for the mortgage and truck payment from saving to chequing, so we don’t pay over draft, remember when things like the gas bill, credit card bills, phones get automatically debited from our account, make sure everyone has money right now and not do silly things like get distracted and forget how to get to daycare, or send the payroll money to the wrong company, we have a really nice credit right now with one of our business vendors LOL
So I am glad for SR, I come and read daily, it’s my down time. I am so glad I did the things I will encounter this weekend early in sobriety, there will be a couple shots poured for my father in law, I now know, not only do I not have to participate – nobody will care if I don’t, I am OK staying with my girls in a hotel and taking them for a nice dinner, just us. I can be sober and present and experience grief the way it should be experienced, and start healing in a healthy way.
Just my random musings while I decide if I want to spend the extra $5.99 a day on satellite radio for my rental. Where we are going there are two radio stations, if you are lucky.
I am relatively new to sobriety, sober since Oct 23/17 I also never listen to what I should do
I’ve been on vacation, gone to restaurants I used to drink in, gone to dances and parties, been around booze, there is currently 2 or 3 cases of beer from an event my company did and whiskey, Baileys… you get the picture, in my home. Two weeks ago a freak accident for my father in law rocked our world. He is currently on life support, which will be withdrawn this week, my mother in law just was admitted to hospital, the stress has taken a toll on her heart. My husband has flown to be with them, my son flew out on a different flight but the same day as his Dad – they were both also down there immediately after the accident. I fly with my girls Thursday.
We have our home listed and anticipate a quick sell, we have all offers being held until we return, there is nothing I want to buy. Not sure why 100 acre horse ranch on waterfront within a 50km radius, with no work to do to the house and a house under 10 years old is such a difficult thing to find
Today while talking to the school, my daughter’s teacher asked, how are you even handling this – I used to joke, when people heard things like we have horses and dogs and kids, I own two companies and founded a non-profit, how I coped, that I drank. People would laugh it off, nobody believed it, but it was true.
Drinking is the farthest thing from my mind. Keeping the dogs and kids from mucking up the house, keeping the barn clean, finding someone to do chores, rearranging schedules, booking flights and hotels and cars – only daddy and I get the cars
Unfortunately bereavement rates require direct calls, instead of just booking everything together and we just got back from vacation, 7 flights at almost $1,000 each less than a month after a family vacation, I have to get the bereavement rates! I am not actively working on me, I can’t, this is the first death of a grandparent for my kids, my father in law is young, my husband is heart broken, now his mom. I need to focus on them, help them and keep the home fires burning, remember to transfer money for the mortgage and truck payment from saving to chequing, so we don’t pay over draft, remember when things like the gas bill, credit card bills, phones get automatically debited from our account, make sure everyone has money right now and not do silly things like get distracted and forget how to get to daycare, or send the payroll money to the wrong company, we have a really nice credit right now with one of our business vendors LOL
So I am glad for SR, I come and read daily, it’s my down time. I am so glad I did the things I will encounter this weekend early in sobriety, there will be a couple shots poured for my father in law, I now know, not only do I not have to participate – nobody will care if I don’t, I am OK staying with my girls in a hotel and taking them for a nice dinner, just us. I can be sober and present and experience grief the way it should be experienced, and start healing in a healthy way.
Just my random musings while I decide if I want to spend the extra $5.99 a day on satellite radio for my rental. Where we are going there are two radio stations, if you are lucky.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Sounds like a lot on your plate MLH, thanks for sharing. It seems you have a good plan as well to keep all those plates up in the air - but I would strongly encourage you to find some time to actively work on yourself too. Even if it's just 5 minutes a day. If you get stretched too thin, things can come crashing down in spectacular fashion - and I don't just mean drinking alcohol.
As a matter of fact I think you ARE doing that by spending time here on SR even if you don't recognize it! Keep it up..we'll try and help as much as we can.
As a matter of fact I think you ARE doing that by spending time here on SR even if you don't recognize it! Keep it up..we'll try and help as much as we can.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Wow, MLH 
That is a lot!!!!!!!!!! How would a person manage even a small percentage of what you are going through, if they were drinking?
I am so glad you are sober and present.
I will be thinking about you ♥
That is a lot!!!!!!!!!! How would a person manage even a small percentage of what you are going through, if they were drinking?
I am so glad you are sober and present.
I will be thinking about you ♥
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
Thanks everyone. Lying in bed, super early lol. Me the two girls and two dogs I've realized I need a bigger bed lol.
I do have a bit of me time tomorrow, I have to get my hair done. The girls are getting cuts as well. Then make sure everyone has tights and pantyhose. They thought I would let them wear their ballet tights, at 20 bucks each, no way!
I do have a bit of me time tomorrow, I have to get my hair done. The girls are getting cuts as well. Then make sure everyone has tights and pantyhose. They thought I would let them wear their ballet tights, at 20 bucks each, no way!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
So sorry for all that you are going through right now, but you sound like you are handling it like a champ. It's tough in early sobriety (I had some rough stuff happen in my 3rd and 4th months) but the feeling of being able to be present and clear-headed makes up for the real emotions that come.
I'm thinking of you and sending you warm wishes.
You're doing great.
I'm thinking of you and sending you warm wishes.
You're doing great.
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