Hellsangel

Hi all
I'm totally in despair at the way I keep slipping back into my old habits so I stayed sober for 2 weeks than yesterday I slipped up drank a whole 700ml bottle of gin to myself I feel so guilty and worried now. I've been dealing with this addiction for approx 5 years. Id buy vodka also and have these binges on and off I don't drink everyday but I know these binges are doing me harm. I just need to find out how to stop slipping I feel wonderful when off alcohol.

Ghostlight1

Hello and welcome to the forums.

I know how you feel. I drank like that for ten years until the drinking became an almost every day thing.
I had forgotten how it even felt to be sober.It got so bad.

I had the shame, guilt and anxiety that goes along with trying to stop only to fail again.
I drank for thirty years in almost any conceivable way. I was finally a seemingly hopeless drunk.
I just couldn't quit on my own. I came here. I went to AA. It helped. Meeting a group of people who knew where I was coming from with some finding sobriety long term.
Maybe I could do it. I tried. I failed I tried again and failed. But one thing was constant, the desire to stop drinking. And I never stopped trying, no matter how low I had sank.

I threw myself into AA with a sincere effort. I was sober for seven months. I was doing my laundry one day, and decided it would be okay to drink. Back to the same routine in short order.
Cunning, baffling, powerful. I had lost control again.

I've been sober now, this seemingly hopeless drunk, for eight years now.
I didn't have a burning bush experience. It just happened one Christmas Eve. And I have never looked back.

Without the help of AA and here I would have stood little chance at stopping.
Maybe it's time to take action, like you're doing here, and throw yourself into recovery.
It took me spending the time I spent either drinking, recovering or procuring alcohol to use that time not drinking and doing something productive. An AA meeting. Coming here. Talking to other sober alcoholics.

It took me a long time to finally stop drinking, but by then, I had spent thirty yeas drinking.
I hope you can save yourself some misery and do whatever it takes to get sober.
You can do it. You may need a little help. but you can do it.

Best to you and stick around. And remember, you never have to drink again.

least

Welcome to the family. Getting sober is hard at first. I hope we can help you get sober for good. It takes some effort and changes, but is well worth it. And waking up feeling good never gets old.

Hevyn

Welcome, Hellsangel - it's so good to have you join us.

I drank for many years - in the end, it was every day. I refused to acknowledge that I'd become completely dependent on it. What was once fun had become a necessity. Not sure when I went from social to alcoholic drinking, but each time it was in my system unpredictable things happened. I put myself in danger so many times. Not drinking was the only way to stay safe. It feels so good to be free.

Dee74

Welcoem to SR hellsangel

coming here really helped me turn things around - I post I read, I askjed for help, and have it to others , and I stayed sober

I know we can help you too - you're not alone

D

VikingGF

I didn't think I could stop, but thanks mostly to this site, I did. It was hard at first and certainly I tried so many times I've lost count, but once I got serious, the drinking really was just over.

The good news is you don't have to do it all at once, you just have to do it for today, then you do it again the next day, and then they add up and you don't drink anymore.

Stay on this site, read, post when you need help or have something to say and make the commitment to yourself.

Never forget you are worth any effort you make to get sober. You can do this.

Hellsangel

Thanks everyone but the guilt is unbelievable this morning I lied to my partner and parents again I hid bottles. I can't bring myself to throw them away. It's like I can't face it. I drink cause of social anxiety and was diagnosed with bpd a month ago

SoberDirk

HellsAngel-
Listen, man...you don't drink because of social disorder.
You drink because you're alcoholic.
Just like me.
And bph...so what! Just keep doing the next right thing.
You sound like I did (to myself) about 18 years ago. I had to beat the **** out of myself for another 15 years until I finally 'Got It'. And, being new in sobriety myself (I have just put together 3 years), I know I'm just one drink away from being drunk. Again. And I know the guilt. That's where it's up to you to just plow thru. Get a local support group. Do AA, at least try it. It works for many. TALK ABOUT IT! Use this site, lime you are!! I just joined last night myself and, man...talking to you is helping me! That's what it's all about.
And, no matter what, don't quit quitting-
Hang in there...
And, thank you, man. I mean that-
Dirk

ScottFromWI

The guilt can definitely be strong, and rightly so as we've all done regrettable things when we were drunk/high. You can make a difference today though and show people that you are serious about change. You do that by being honest and accountable for your actions - and it will be hard, but worth it in the long run many times over. Throw away the bottles and find some time today to work on a sober life- go to recovery meeting, spend some time here. do whatever it takes.

Worrying about what you cannot change ( the past, your past actions ,etc. ) will not help you or anyone around you.

Dee74

Many of us faced crushing guilt shame or regret HA - our addicted self uses that self loathing to get us to drink some more.

Take the road less travelled this time - lean on us...we'll help you get through.

I promise it gets better

D