Friends party next week
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
Friends party next week
Hey, recently I've been real quiet and almost isolated myself from situations that involve alcohol. I have a friends party next week and I'm feeling so triggered. I keep getting sneaky thoughts creeping in like 'oh I could just Sneak a drink at the bar when no one's looking' and thinking I could take cocaine instead of drinking cos that's not the same thing. I know these are only thoughts and I'm determined not to act on them, think I'm just feeling worried that I'm thinking this way.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Hi LPG.....sounds like maybe not going is the best idea? I know there were plenty of things I opted out of - for whatever reason- for awhile, and truthfully still choose carefully bc I only do what I WANT and where things fit my lifestyle.
Putting my sobriety- physical and emotional, more importantly- first has been what works for me.
Take care of YOU.
Putting my sobriety- physical and emotional, more importantly- first has been what works for me.
Take care of YOU.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Don't go.
I remember hearing Robin Williams telling the story of when he relapsed going for a filming and thinking on the plane no-one well know.
How crazy is that. We know, you know. Don't go.
Not worth it. Never quit the decision and don't do things that risk it.
But that is just me.
I remember hearing Robin Williams telling the story of when he relapsed going for a filming and thinking on the plane no-one well know.
How crazy is that. We know, you know. Don't go.
Not worth it. Never quit the decision and don't do things that risk it.
But that is just me.
Maladaptive
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: East coast, USA
Posts: 558
Originally Posted by Lpg 
Hey, recently I've been real quiet and almost isolated myself from situations that involve alcohol. I have a friends party next week and I'm feeling so triggered. I keep getting sneaky thoughts creeping in like 'oh I could just Sneak a drink at the bar when no one's looking' and thinking I could take cocaine instead of drinking cos that's not the same thing. I know these are only thoughts and I'm determined not to act on them, think I'm just feeling worried that I'm thinking this way.
Just tell yourself no, it isn’t happening.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
When I talk with my sponsees about this type of situation, I suggest they do an inventory.
1. What's your intent on going?
2. Do you have a need to be there?
3. Are you spiritually fit to go?
4. Do you have a plan and contingencies?
If you can't answer these few questions with an absolute answer, then you know what to do.
Good luck and remember there is nothing worth risking your sobriety.
1. What's your intent on going?
2. Do you have a need to be there?
3. Are you spiritually fit to go?
4. Do you have a plan and contingencies?
If you can't answer these few questions with an absolute answer, then you know what to do.
Good luck and remember there is nothing worth risking your sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 40
Wow! There are some real smart people here...
Real smart.
Make alternative plans (for yourself) 'cause you know what? Their not going to 'Miss You' if you're not there! Really, we're not that important to other (normal) people when their getting their drink on! We're just not-
But, your sobriety has made you second guess yourself in the first place.
Go do something YOU like to do...for yourself, man. Not for others, 'cause I'd use it as an excuse to f up. But that's just me.
I'm a real alcoholic.
Just my two cents
!
By the way, I'm new here I'm Dirk, and thank you for your story. This KEEPS it real for me.
Thanks again,
Dirk
Real smart.
Make alternative plans (for yourself) 'cause you know what? Their not going to 'Miss You' if you're not there! Really, we're not that important to other (normal) people when their getting their drink on! We're just not-
But, your sobriety has made you second guess yourself in the first place.
Go do something YOU like to do...for yourself, man. Not for others, 'cause I'd use it as an excuse to f up. But that's just me.
I'm a real alcoholic.
Just my two cents
!By the way, I'm new here
I'm Dirk, and thank you for your story. This KEEPS it real for me.Thanks again,
Dirk
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Jan 6
AA Thought for the Day
Keeping sober is the most important thing in my life. The most important decision I ever made was my decision to give up drinking. I am convinced that my whole life depends on not taking that first drink. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my own sobriety. Everything I have, my whole life, depends on that one thing.
Can I afford ever to forget this, even for one minute?
Meditation for the Day
I will discipline myself. I will do this disciplining now. I will turn out all useless thoughts. I know that the goodness of my life is a necessary foundation for its usefulness. I will welcome this training, for without it God cannot give me this power. I believe that this power is a mighty power when it is used in the right way.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may face and accept whatever discipline is necessary. I pray that I may be fit to receive God's power in my life.
Jan 6
AA Thought for the Day
Keeping sober is the most important thing in my life. The most important decision I ever made was my decision to give up drinking. I am convinced that my whole life depends on not taking that first drink. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my own sobriety. Everything I have, my whole life, depends on that one thing.
Can I afford ever to forget this, even for one minute?
Meditation for the Day
I will discipline myself. I will do this disciplining now. I will turn out all useless thoughts. I know that the goodness of my life is a necessary foundation for its usefulness. I will welcome this training, for without it God cannot give me this power. I believe that this power is a mighty power when it is used in the right way.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may face and accept whatever discipline is necessary. I pray that I may be fit to receive God's power in my life.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
Just be honest with yourself. If your thinking about drinking because of a future party then chances are you don't have plan for staying sober. I think you need to reevaluate on how you engage yourself in sobriety. Avoiding the party is good advice but what about other future engagements with friends? You can't avoid life's events forever. Alcohol is everywhere. If you have truly accepted the fact that you can NEVER drink again then these party's won't bother you. Certainly in early sobriety stay away from the temptation. But by all means develop a plan and work it. You know this already. It takes work and time to reduce the cravings. Eventually that will happen for you. Right now you should be so busy in working your plan for sobriety that you don't have time to even go to a party. Action, massive amounts of action is needed in dealing with alcoholism. From the time you wake up till the time you go to sleep your day needs to be filled in working your plan. It's simple. I believe AA ask are you willing to go to any lengths to get it??
Quit worrying about a meaningless party and develop a plan LPG. You have some sobriety time now, build on that. Party or no party, your life depends on a solid plan. If you implement one.
Quit worrying about a meaningless party and develop a plan LPG. You have some sobriety time now, build on that. Party or no party, your life depends on a solid plan. If you implement one.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
In general, wet places are to be avoided.
I make exceptions when I am expected to be somewhere and it is an important event. It has to be important in that i need to show couplehood in some way with the husband or I need to support him or someone else in a significant way.
My husband is a musician who plays many gigs. As a drinker I attended them all. He's had maybe 12 gigs since I got sober and I have attended two. One that was a bigger venue with other groups we know well and I had planned it for months...it was a bar and someone bought me a drink, so it was pretty uncomfortable for very early sobriety. The other was when he played a coffee shop. I will go to one he has planned in May at a brewery because it is a daytime gig at a place that serves food. I'm wary of drinking only places. I know I won't drink, but these are just not places I belong now. They are not situations that fit my life and how it is now.
I agree with examining your motives. We are dealing with addiction. It really can't be taken lightly.
I make exceptions when I am expected to be somewhere and it is an important event. It has to be important in that i need to show couplehood in some way with the husband or I need to support him or someone else in a significant way.
My husband is a musician who plays many gigs. As a drinker I attended them all. He's had maybe 12 gigs since I got sober and I have attended two. One that was a bigger venue with other groups we know well and I had planned it for months...it was a bar and someone bought me a drink, so it was pretty uncomfortable for very early sobriety. The other was when he played a coffee shop. I will go to one he has planned in May at a brewery because it is a daytime gig at a place that serves food. I'm wary of drinking only places. I know I won't drink, but these are just not places I belong now. They are not situations that fit my life and how it is now.
I agree with examining your motives. We are dealing with addiction. It really can't be taken lightly.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Piping in one more time re what "kind" of event- doesn't matter, IM(strong)O.
I believe that everything comes after my sobriety and if I have to say no to .... my stepdaughter's high school graduation party or a grandchild's wedding or....whatever, that's ok. That's the RIGHT choice. Anyone who doesn't understand can politely go pound sand, as us Southerners say.
I believe that everything comes after my sobriety and if I have to say no to .... my stepdaughter's high school graduation party or a grandchild's wedding or....whatever, that's ok. That's the RIGHT choice. Anyone who doesn't understand can politely go pound sand, as us Southerners say.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Welcome, Dirk, we're certainly happy to have you here sharing with us.
To Sobriety 26 - I had to skip quite a few functions during my first year of sobriety when I had concerns as to how I would feel, from a sobriety standpoint, when I got there.
I almost always opted to skip them, and the parties, I am told, went off swimmingly without my input (very humbling news for me to accept, of course).
My sobriety is infinitely more important than my ability to mingle around alcohol, particularly in early sobriety.
Even today, after being sober a while, I always remember that alcohol is bigger than myself when I am around it.
And, like others, I always have an exit strategy that I can employ if I don't feel good about things.
To Sobriety 26 - I had to skip quite a few functions during my first year of sobriety when I had concerns as to how I would feel, from a sobriety standpoint, when I got there.
I almost always opted to skip them, and the parties, I am told, went off swimmingly without my input (very humbling news for me to accept, of course).
My sobriety is infinitely more important than my ability to mingle around alcohol, particularly in early sobriety.
Even today, after being sober a while, I always remember that alcohol is bigger than myself when I am around it.
And, like others, I always have an exit strategy that I can employ if I don't feel good about things.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
Hey thanks for the replys everyone. I had a long think about it over the weekend and I told my partner about how I was feeling instead of bottling it up and he said we can show face and leave.
It's my best friends 30th birthday party so feel I need to show face. We spoke about how I was feeling and he reminded me of why I'm doing it, I think these little thoughts are creeping in because iv not been working a plan of soberity, iv just been not drinking and it's starting to show. Is it normal for over time to forget all the reasons you became sober and think you can moderate again?! Anyway after talking it through and my fiancé telling me what it's personally like to watch me when I'm drinking and who I turn into (like a girl possessed) it has been a great reminder.
Few days away from 90 says sober I will not throw it away now. I really need to get back to AA and start working this properly as my plan right now isn't doing me many favours. Wayne you are absolutely correct in what you said. And everyone else too, I was cosindering not going but I will show face and leave early there is absolutely no point in staying any longer than I feel comfortable it's just not worth the risk. Thanks guys, LPG
It's my best friends 30th birthday party so feel I need to show face. We spoke about how I was feeling and he reminded me of why I'm doing it, I think these little thoughts are creeping in because iv not been working a plan of soberity, iv just been not drinking and it's starting to show. Is it normal for over time to forget all the reasons you became sober and think you can moderate again?! Anyway after talking it through and my fiancé telling me what it's personally like to watch me when I'm drinking and who I turn into (like a girl possessed) it has been a great reminder.
Few days away from 90 says sober I will not throw it away now. I really need to get back to AA and start working this properly as my plan right now isn't doing me many favours. Wayne you are absolutely correct in what you said. And everyone else too, I was cosindering not going but I will show face and leave early there is absolutely no point in staying any longer than I feel comfortable it's just not worth the risk. Thanks guys, LPG
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Lpg
Just realised my 90 days sober will be the day off the party... What's the chances!
could be tellin ya thats a great evening to hit a meeting.
and quite a few great evenings until then to do the same.
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