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Some time away from it.

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Old 01-17-2018, 07:45 AM
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Some time away from it.

Greetings everybody,

The last month has been a doozy. I left my job and moved to another state. I do not believe that I could perform my job and not struggle to stay sober. I was in charge of producing alcohol and building a business that focused on that. I'm trying to start back at the bottom of the career ladder and have removed as many bad influences from my life as possible. It's taken about a month, but I may have something come together soon.

This move has been big for me. Being out of the industry I was in and looking back at the last ten years of my life, I think "Wow." The last four or five months there, I was sober as I could be while doing that job. (I view being sober as not consuming any alcohol.) It is amazing however to be out of that environment and see how regular people view excessive drinking and alcoholism. The places I've worked, extreme excess is normal; a lot of those people are living in a bubble. (Including myself.)

One thing that stuck out to me, and I guess it's what's driving this post is what someone said to me.

"I don't understand why people drink to get drunk."

On some level, it makes sense why people do. (I know the reasons why I drank to get drunk; how I got to that point. Also, this is not saying that it's good to drink.) On the other hand, this statement made me think of how absurd/alien the reasons I would have given them might have sounded. I'm able to see now, with some distance and time not drinking, that my thought processes and behaviors were not rational. In other words crazy, to people who don't drink.

Thoughts of bad behavior throughout my drinking career are starting to creep in. There are times when I'd really like to drink. For some reason or another, my lizard brain says it would be like an old comfy blanket. I know what would happen if I went down that road, how it would affect my life and my relationships. The 'heavy lifting' never ends it seems. I hope that everyone is on the up-and-up. For those in the hard places, stay strong as best you can. Things don't get perfect but they do get better.

Have a good day.
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Old 01-17-2018, 07:48 AM
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The heavy lifting doesn't end but like with barbells,suddenly you are lifting heavier with less effort. How long have you been sober?
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Old 01-17-2018, 08:23 AM
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Hello,

I will be at 6 months soon. Things have definitely gotten better.
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Old 01-17-2018, 08:29 AM
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Glad things are improving- good job on 6 mo!

I would just add an AA based word of caution....the "geographical cure" can be a good thing, but it doesn't change the fact that our alcoholism comes with us.

Having a fundamental program of action - AA for me- is critical to not just sobriety but recovery, in my life. And as someone in the restaurant industry, I can relate to the insane behaviors, the rampant addiction (to all kinds of substances!) and the other factors and realities of life in an abnormal world.

Best to you.
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Old 01-17-2018, 08:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Cellardweller View Post
Things don't get perfect but they do get better.
Beautifully said
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Old 01-17-2018, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by August252015 View Post
Glad things are improving- good job on 6 mo!

I would just add an AA based word of caution....the "geographical cure" can be a good thing, but it doesn't change the fact that our alcoholism comes with us.
This is very, very true. I've moved across the country more than a few times, and it's always come with me. This time, I'm doing work to change things, not just location. My girlfriend and family are very supportive and I'm getting out of the industry I was in. Healthy choices, and trying to deal with the root causes of what was driving me to drink.

Thanks everybody!
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:45 PM
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I don't think I ever knew why I drank, it's just what I did daily. The reason I drank daily is because I'm an alcoholic. It was never about anyone, people, places or things out there, it's because I have the disease of alcoholism.

In the 1970's I thought things would get better if I moved to Rio de Janeiro, which I did, and stayed for 1.5 years. I took myself with me and my disease progressed. I tried different jobs, husbands and all kinds of changes except my disease progressed anyway. It was only by crawling into the doors of AA and saying "help!!" that I stopped drinking and got the help I needed to stay sober.
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Old 01-18-2018, 04:50 AM
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Thank you for your post Cellar. I allowed myself to travel down the slippery slope of relapse after 11 years of sobriety. Started off 2018 with a clear mind and a new resolve to work the program and work on me and how I got back to such a dark place again.

Last edited by Yad2LohoclaOn; 01-18-2018 at 04:52 AM. Reason: Grammar
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Old 01-18-2018, 08:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Yad2LohoclaOn View Post
Thank you for your post Cellar. I allowed myself to travel down the slippery slope of relapse after 11 years of sobriety. Started off 2018 with a clear mind and a new resolve to work the program and work on me and how I got back to such a dark place again.
I like your name. Took me a few seconds to figure it out!
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