anxiousrock

I’m actually doing a free paint night on Wednesday . People normally drink but I don’t want to since I have no money and it’s during the week.

Dee74

Hi Anarock - I promise the more you get through these tough days the easier it will get.

Looking for more support can't hurt tho - are you interested in meeting based groups like AA or SMART?

D

anxiousrock

Lol. It’s warmed up since this morning but still -32c.

Done4today

Glad you're still here with us Anarock. All these little battles help winning the war. Plus the money thing will get better much faster than the cravings. Stay the sober course and it does get much better.

NYCDoglvr

You don't have to drink today!!! It's your choice to pick up a drink or go to a meeting, call someone for support.

MindfulMan

Unstructured time alone is the devil's playground.

So structure something. Even if it's something as simple as binge-watching a show you've always wanted to see.

What's more important to you, a meaningful life or a moment of numbness?

anxiousrock

I feel like I could drink and watch tv at the same time lol. Tv is boring to me. But none the less I did it all night anyways. Now I’m numb with boredom.

anxiousrock

I do AA. Couldn’t go tonight cause I left my key with my boyfriend and didn’t want to leave the house unlocked while I was gone.

Berrybean

Are you saying you can't leave the house all weekend ?

If so make sure that house is definitely an alcohol free zone.

What about listening to some AA speakers?
https://www.recoveryaudio.org

Inviting a friend over?

Journaling?

Read the Big Book or 12 and 12.

Starting to write a step 1 inventory ready for when you get a sponsor?

Calling someone from your local AA and asking how they're doing.

Sort through your closet or cupboards.

Sing.

Draw.

Write a story or poem and enter it into a competition.

Cook up some dinners ready for freezing so you don't have to cook after work next week (then you can get to more meetings!)


I was told in the beginning that I needed to be honest with myself about whether I had a 'complaint' or a 'problem'. When I have a complaint I am asking for suggestions but don't really want to hear or see any of them, and just rationalise my way out of trying them. When I have a problem I am in the right state of mind to try to hear or see some solutions. Complaints don't have solutions. Problems do.
Sometimes I'd get myself in a funk, and if I asked myself "Berry, Do you want to be happy". Sometimes, if I was honest, the answer was "No, I effing don't ". That bath of self pity was warm, and feeling angry and resentful felt safer than admitting my fear and sadness to myself.
Restless. Irritable. Discontent. Just like it says in the Big Book. This is the natural state of the addict not working on their recovery. And we get to choose how long we want to stay that way. Rattling around in ourselves.

So what is this? A complaint or a problem? (You don't have to answer that on here, but it's worth asking yourself.)

The quality of our recovery is in direct correlation to our willingness to take action. Thinking only gets us so far. We are all responsible for our own recovery. Recovery is more than just drinking. Without recovery sobriety stays a painful place. With recovery sobriety can be bearable, then sustainable, then comfortable, and then (one day) preferable to drinking.

I hope you find that willingness, take steps to alleviate your RID and feel some relief soon. You are worth it.

BB

Dropsie

AR,

You might want to check out this post, which is one of my favs.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ined-long.html (AVRT Explained (long))

This is the way it works for me.

Cravings are habit loops, not executive function. This is worse with addition than other habit loops, but they are at their core habit loops.

Now that I don't drink I have a lot of other habit loops. They don't mean to harm, but they do.

Listening to a habit loop is like listening to your two year old self stuck in a temper tantrum, when your adult self has already taken a decision.

You got this!

MyLittleHorsie

I have been asked to organize these for different groups, I don't like the way they push booze...

I mentioned it because my gf has depression and this is what she does. I don't like homemade stuff lol so I have never tried but she finds it really helps with her depression.

anxiousrock

Thanks everyone. I’m feeling good this morning but a different post on here made me confused. I’m going to ignore it.
Also, I’ve been reading the big book and I think I need to talk to someone about it because I don’t like the way it talks about being so hopeless and drinking every day etc. I’m only on the third chapter though so maybe that will change.

Berrybean

Maybe read the We Stopped in Time stories for a bit of a reprieve.

Or listen to some step one speaker recordings. Sandy Beach and Earl Hightower are my faves. https://www.recoveryaudio.org/step-1-speaker-tapes

If you're referring to the post I think you are, please don't take too much notice of that one. We can get a little crazy cranky in early days, which is where that guy is. Just focus on your side of the street.

If you've got a 12 and 12 it's worth reading the step 1 stuff through, and maybe read some of the step 1 threads over on the 12-step area. That helped me a lot

Remember, we're not powerless off everything. But alcohol, once we take that first drink, we are, because we can't predict or guarentee how it's likely to end up. Thats why we dont take the first drink.

BB

doggonecarl

Anarock, I hope you aren't going down that road where you don't think you have a "problem" with alcohol and talk yourself into drinking. That seems to be your mindset with the boredom talk in this thread and your reply posts to the other thread about consumption and who's a "real" alcoholic.

People who don't have a problem with alcohol don't struggle to not drink.

You do.

Please, stay sober.

NYCDoglvr

When the Big Book refers to being hopeless it's talking about alcohol. As long as I drank my life wasn't going to change but continue to spiral downward.

Berrybean

Anarock. You mentioned elsewhere how you don't see how your life was made unmanageable by drinking. If you really don't think drinking caused you a problem then you're likely to struggle with the resolve to stay sober, and the steps beyond step 1 aren't likely to make sense.

Strikes me that alcohol caused your life to be unmanageable in a number of ways just from the posts of yours I've seen since you've been here....

Poor physical health / sickness
Initial drinks leading to unplanned 2-3 day binges
Depression and anxiety
Blacking out
Being unable to resist the compulsion to drink despite wanting to stop
Behaving in ways when drinking that needed you to make apologies at a later date
Being ashamed of yourself

I hope you're okay and sober today.

BB

tomsteve

i would think these are some examples of unmanagability:
-I’m in Cuba for work and the wifi is terrible but I have to post.
I’ve been drinking non stop since I got here (well before the flight even).
-Thank you everyone. I just heard from 4 different people in my group they think I was drugged!
They said I was a completely different person .
They said one of the guys in the group was following me around all night, sat with me at dinner (I do remember this) and they all said I had the same drink for a long time and actually didn’t drink that much.
I blacked out and then remember someone walking me to my room shortly after.
-Has anyone had experience with long term lax abuse? '
-2 day bender, feel horrible, anxious, guilty, ashamed and scared.
-Had about 14 drinks. I want more
-Drink got me again.
__________________________________________________ _________________________

Anarock, those are just a few examples of what you have typed here that show BOTH parts of the 1st step.
i hope you take some time and read back through your posts- you will find even more evidense of both powerlessness and unmanagability.

Dropsie

How are you Anarock?

Been thinking of you.