My great aunt died this morning
My great aunt died this morning
We were hoping she'd be able to meet the baby despite her lung cancer but she didn't make it. Two big doses of grief so far on my sober journey. I know booze wouldn't help, I'm not even considering it, but I feel so sad. Our family is small so any loss is felt hugely and everyone is so upset

So sorry for your loss. I watched my Dad pass away from lung cancer a little over 3 years ago. It was tough having to feel the pain of grief without drinking, but it helped to make my recovery even stronger. The grief will pass, but your recovery will endure.
Sorry to hear about the passing of your Aunt, scared. My thoughts to you and your family.
One of the things that is the most difficult about getting sober is actually "feeling" emotions like pain and grief. Our default reaction while actively drinking was to try to "run away" with a bottle/can/glass. And of course that never works, it just makes it worse. Certainly the loss of a loved one or family member is a major event, but unfortunately life is filled with events that make us unhappy. Equating sobriety, or just life in general with being "happy" all the time is a very unrealistic expectation, and one that can get us in trouble with our addiction in a hurry.
I hope you are all able to remember the good things about her life, share some stories and talk together. And also make sure to give yourself some credit for staying sober throughout this period...she would be proud of you for doing so and you will be far better equipped to cope now that you aren't drinking anymore.
One of the things that is the most difficult about getting sober is actually "feeling" emotions like pain and grief. Our default reaction while actively drinking was to try to "run away" with a bottle/can/glass. And of course that never works, it just makes it worse. Certainly the loss of a loved one or family member is a major event, but unfortunately life is filled with events that make us unhappy. Equating sobriety, or just life in general with being "happy" all the time is a very unrealistic expectation, and one that can get us in trouble with our addiction in a hurry.
I hope you are all able to remember the good things about her life, share some stories and talk together. And also make sure to give yourself some credit for staying sober throughout this period...she would be proud of you for doing so and you will be far better equipped to cope now that you aren't drinking anymore.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Hi legoth...life is giving you challenges for sure, with your pregnancy as well as the losses you've endured. In the meantime you've been a calm, strong and level headed force for your family to lean on. Be proud of who you are becoming, good things lie in store for you. My condolences for the loss of your aunt, its never easy to grieve a loss in the family. We are here if you need us!
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 74
Don't stress we know how you feel, I lost my Dad when I was 6, my Mum in 2004, at the same time I was going through a divorce.
If you go to the 12 step readings by Dave, you will read some really interesting stuff about how life is loss, its very nature is loss, but then from what you lose you gain. Something dies and something grows a new. That is the beauty of if.
If you go to the 12 step readings by Dave, you will read some really interesting stuff about how life is loss, its very nature is loss, but then from what you lose you gain. Something dies and something grows a new. That is the beauty of if.
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