Lost a friend?
 

I'm on day 10. Does anyone else feel a little sad when they realize they won't drink again? I know this sounds strange but I feel like a friend died.

yes for me it is like a partner thats incredibly fun and get along great with most of the time. But I know it will never work out and will ruin my life. so the decision is end it early or later, its going to have to end. so for me it was time before my life fell apart.

Its tough at first, especially when alcohol seems to be everywhere - TV adverts, magazine adverts, the prosseco and wine o'clock preoccupation that exists.

I came to realise that alcohol was never a reward for me.
It was not a treat, or even something nice to look forward to.

I would think back to times when I had perhaps expected to have 1 or 2 glasses of wine etc, but it turned into a blackout where I remembered nothing, gave me acute anxiety and caused me to hate myself and feel like the worst person in the world.

I didn't have this view straight away.
I took time.
I think we call it playing the tape until the end....maybe Dee can elaborate better than me.

But think back to a time when you planned on having an innocent few drinks and it turned into hell on earth.......remind yourself of all he heartache...for me alcohol was never a friend it was only ever an enemy.

I wish you the best xx

Yes, sad and over whelmed.

It is why I keep things broken down to manageable time frames. One month, somebody once said, anyone can quit anything for a month, then 2, now I see clear for a year, in a few months, I will make a plan for 2 to 5 years, whatever is manageable.

Fortunately, prior to coming to this board I had ruled out ever being able to moderate or drink again, just knowing it and saying It, my silly brain can't say it yet, out loud.

Yeah, but eventually I realized with friends like alcohol who needs enemies?

Ending a relationship can be hard, even when that relationship was toxic & abusive...

you're making the right choice LadyBug :)

D

Hi LadyBug. :)

I definitely grieved over what I thought of as a loss. I realize now that I was remembering only the fun times - back when I first started to drink & still had some control. I had to remind myself of what it turned in to - a nightmare of numbness & dangerous behavior. When I began to heal, I realized I wasn't being deprived of anything - I was being given my freedom.

10 days is wonderful.

Yes, you’ll feel sad for a while. It should start wearing off soon, but everyone is different.
Sleep lots and get some exercise to help.

Thank you all. It so helps to say what's on my mind no matter how odd it sounds someone understands! I am doing better. I started a hobbie that would not mix with alcohol. When it's time to go home from work my alcoholic thoughts have been replaced by the hobbie thoughts . Thanks again for the support!

That's an excellent idea. I'm glad it's working for you. I found myself idly lamenting no more wine earlier and the AV was whispering that maybe it would be ok just to drink one more time after the baby is born but I know that isn't true. I get where you're coming from but I think, as our heads clear and we have continued success in being sober, we start to see alcohol for what it really was; the friend that seems fun and awesome but is really a two faced horror that tears you down.

Well done on 10 days! Long may it continue :)

Ladybug - you are not alone! I definitely went through grief feelings. I think it's totally normal - something we counted on to be there for us (in my case...daily) is gone. Despite the fact that it was a toxic, life-threatening thing, it was something we depended on, turned to, etc. Hang in there...it gets better! And it sounds like you are already finding some ways to cope!

Thank you. I am trying. I am getting much more done of an evening now since I'm not passing out or blacking out. LOL

I keep saying in the back of my mind...maybe I can drink again, because I feel the same as you....I know I can't drink another drop but my mind is playing tricks on me....day 3

I am on day 11 and I am having those thoughts as well.
We had people over for New Years Day dinner and one of them was suffering an awful hangover. I could see and feel the shame and pain they were in. It made me thankful I didn't drink the night before and it also made me feel very sorry for them because I have been there before.

Yeah. I had those feelings.

I have better friends now though, and realise that alcohol was false-friend extraordinaire. A manipulative bully that isolated me from any true friends and keep me lonely.

BB