Im a Fun Bobby
 

Can anyone else relate?

I am deadly boring when sober, generally melancholic alot of the time, totally reserved, Ridiculously Dull Bobby.

When I drink I seem to discover my personality for a while(which people seem to find interesting and engaging), until I over do it and end up being the annoying drunk everyone wants to avoid.

Anyway, I am not saying I want to go back to drinking but Im curious if anyone else can relate and found a way to be themselves without having to drink.

Cheers

I often think I'm glad I drank past any ideas of drinking being fun. By the time I quit, it was anything but enjoyable...but yeah..

Way back, when I did think I was the life of the party, others have told me since I was loud mouthed obnoxious and embarrassing.

Sure, my drinking buddies thought I was hilarious - but that was either because they looked good next to or because they were write offs themselves.

There's a great Simpson bit where Homer remembers the previous night:



Nowadays I really enjoy my life. I have a lot of fun - more fun that I ever had as a drinker.

I'm quieter than I was drunk - but quiet is the real me.,

I got thoroughly sick of pretending I'm something I'm not.

D

Yeah, I always believed the old wittier-prettier-tittier stuff as well. Once i got sober and worked on my recovery I started finding more acceptance of the quieter sober me. Sure, in some of my old circles and hang-outs that quieter me felt out of place.

Nowadays though I don't worry about being a chameleon - changing and putting on an appropriate act depending on where I am or who with. I am who I am. If others don't like it, that's fine. I don't owe it to anyone to be their free stand-up entertainment.

Before I thought that I liked parties - as long as I was drunk.
I could do bar-stood shenanigans - as long as I was drunk
I could project and act that WPT person - as long as I was drunk

But if I needed to be drunk to do those things, chances are that wasnt the real me. The quiet, contemplative, sensitive and quite shy person inside, really did not like those things. So now, I dont do those things. Simples. And that quiet, contemplative, sensitive person isn't so shy any more. She's flourishing, and walking to the beat of her own drum. And if anyone want wittier, prettier and tittier then they can go get drunk and watch themselves in the mirror. I owe no one anything. But I owe it to my true self to have some self-love enough to let my real self 'be' and 'live'. To accept myself, just as I would do a child who was less precocious.

I don't miss that wittier-prettier-tittier person any more. She wasn't real.

BB

I couldn't agree more, Dee. I've seen lots of posts by people who say they were hilarious, life of the party, witty, erudite, and scintillating when drinking with friends, and I always think, I'd like to get a second opinion on that, because I'll bet you weren't nearly as entertaining as you remember.

I have to agree with what Dee and the others have said. I also thought I was better as I was more outgoing and chatty and funny. Turns out I was just melodramatic, overly loud and attention seeking. I don't like drunk me, she's an idiot. Sober me has self respect.

Ditto, ditto, ditto!

Loving the Simpson reference! It still amazes me I thought when drinking everyone found me hilarious and witty when infact I was a loud mouth screaming in people's ears and dancing as if I worked in a strip club if I wasn't getting enough attention , cringing at the thought!

Yes I do worry iv became a tad dull but I'd take that over waking up dreading the run through of my shameful behaviour 🙉

Lpg

theres some old drinkin friends i used to have that would tell me from time to time i was just an obnoxious,know-it-all asshat the night before.
extremely different persepective then i had, mr joe cool, i was. :)
i think id consider that a little delusional thinking.
on my part, not theirs

Yep, I can relate.

Although I wasn't fun...nor was I having any fun...by the last few years of my drinking.

Mostly, I guess I'm getting used to being in my own, sober skin. It feels so odd sometimes. Like I'm not sure who I am...or, in a more positive light, discovering who I am.

But I get it.

I saw that "Friends" episode.....lol...I totally relate...

You say you want to "find a way" to be yourself. But, you already ARE that person. We can't help you with that.

It appears you're trying to find a way to your drinking self. That isn't going to happen, not if your sober. Youll just have to accept that as the trade-off of sobriety. Although your friends might miss "fun bobby" during the TINY percentage of their lives they spend with you, I have no doubt they are willing to give him up so you're sober and heathy and productive 100% of your life.

I bet I would find you interesting when you were sober and me sober, this has never been my problem I find things interesting when sober I also am fun when sober. My Alcoholism is due to more complicated things.

Oh, I'm getting the "you used to be fun" stuff, overheard a conversation also from a woman who barely drinks telling a heavier drinker "she was so much fun before," referring to me. I get it. Whatever. My husband also thinks I was "fun" and I'm sure you all know why...that's actually not "fun" for me though, that's a half lived experience.

They'll all just have to deal with calm conversation instead of my laughing and dancing and mingling, maybe they should entertain themselves better? I'm done entertaining everyone.