How to explain addiction to someone?
Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
How to explain addiction to someone?
No one understands why it is hard to “just not drink” unless they are an alcoholic. My mum has been unimpressed with my weekend drinking every few weeks.
Last night I asked her how many times she tried to quit smoking before she did (she smoked for about 30 years!). She said it’s not the same.
How is it not the same? Is it not an addiction too? You crave how you feel when you do it? Sometimes you chain smoke a while pack at once, sometimes you moderate throughout the day. Try to quit but only last a couple of days, or less?
She had to get help to quit - medication.
Last night I asked her how many times she tried to quit smoking before she did (she smoked for about 30 years!). She said it’s not the same.
How is it not the same? Is it not an addiction too? You crave how you feel when you do it? Sometimes you chain smoke a while pack at once, sometimes you moderate throughout the day. Try to quit but only last a couple of days, or less?
She had to get help to quit - medication.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
What's your point here?
It's hard. Do it anyway.
Cigarettes don't affect a person's behavior and don't put that person in danger due to their own lack of inhibition. Your mom is worried about you.
There's medication for alcohol abstinence too. And there is counseling and AA and any number of things you can do.
It's hard. Do it anyway.
Cigarettes don't affect a person's behavior and don't put that person in danger due to their own lack of inhibition. Your mom is worried about you.
There's medication for alcohol abstinence too. And there is counseling and AA and any number of things you can do.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
My mum has been unimpressed with my weekend drinking every few weeks.
any chance its because shes seen this before and how it hasnt stuck to weekends in the past?
just look back a bit ago at the whole cuba insanity maybe?
as far asthis
How to explain addiction to someone?
from what ya type it reads more like trying to justify drinking on weekends.
i didnt try to explain it when i was still drinking because i didnt understand it and people didnt want to hear my excuses for drinking anyways.
any chance its because shes seen this before and how it hasnt stuck to weekends in the past?
just look back a bit ago at the whole cuba insanity maybe?
as far asthis
How to explain addiction to someone?
from what ya type it reads more like trying to justify drinking on weekends.
i didnt try to explain it when i was still drinking because i didnt understand it and people didnt want to hear my excuses for drinking anyways.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,111
If we're trying to explain addiction to someone while we're still addicted...that's called justification. Probably means we're making excuses for continuing to do what we're still doing. At least that's how it may come across.
Most people have their own strong opinions about addiction or sometimes don't care. It can be annoying. It really doesn't matter what they think...all that matters is what we need to do.
P
Most people have their own strong opinions about addiction or sometimes don't care. It can be annoying. It really doesn't matter what they think...all that matters is what we need to do.
P
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
It's very, very difficult to understand addiction ourselves, much less explain it to someone else. I'd worry about concentrating on your own issues, she can deal with hers on her own accord. Comparing your addiction to others is really not very helpful either because we are all different.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 256
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
What's your point here?
It's hard. Do it anyway.
Cigarettes don't affect a person's behavior and don't put that person in danger due to their own lack of inhibition. Your mom is worried about you.
There's medication for alcohol abstinence too. And there is counseling and AA and any number of things you can do.
It's hard. Do it anyway.
Cigarettes don't affect a person's behavior and don't put that person in danger due to their own lack of inhibition. Your mom is worried about you.
There's medication for alcohol abstinence too. And there is counseling and AA and any number of things you can do.
And they can affect a person's behavior. Someone who is a heavy smoker can get very agitated if they don't have a cigarette. Not to mention smoking while driving can be a distraction.
But really nobody should be comparing their own situation to that of someone else. Too many variables, etc.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
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The consequences for smoking are more health related and long term.
Nobody gets a DWS (Driving While Smoking).
Nobody blacks out and has sex with strangers while smoking.
Nobody loses their job because their job performance is affected by their smoking.
People don't smoke and then abuse their partners and children as a result.
COPD and cancer and heart disease are all slow killers. Not that they should be ignored, but you can live a relatively normal life while smoking unless and until you get sick.
Nobody gets a DWS (Driving While Smoking).
Nobody blacks out and has sex with strangers while smoking.
Nobody loses their job because their job performance is affected by their smoking.
People don't smoke and then abuse their partners and children as a result.
COPD and cancer and heart disease are all slow killers. Not that they should be ignored, but you can live a relatively normal life while smoking unless and until you get sick.
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Originally Posted by treeguy24
What?
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
Alcoholism gets the trifecta for causing damage to someone's mental, physical and spiritual well being. Before getting sober, I often obsessed about alcohol and suffered from anxiety and depression (mental) when I wasn't drinking. The physical damage can occur both short-term (motor/cognitive impairment) and long-term from drinking (organ impairment). And spiritual damage (not religious) can result in life losing it's meaning at some point. As I often mention, towards the end of my drinking I felt like I could no longer live with or without alcohol and had a hole in my soul.
If alcoholism wasn't a mental disorder it would be a lot easier to quit once we suffered negative consequences from our drinking. I mean if I had an allergy to peanuts and had negative consequences every time I ate them I don't think it would be very difficult to never it them again. Yes there are some functioning alcoholics who don't seem to suffer from the mental or spiritual consequences of alcoholism and only suffer from the physical effects after many years of drinking, but I believe they are a small minority of those who suffer from alcoholism.
If alcoholism wasn't a mental disorder it would be a lot easier to quit once we suffered negative consequences from our drinking. I mean if I had an allergy to peanuts and had negative consequences every time I ate them I don't think it would be very difficult to never it them again. Yes there are some functioning alcoholics who don't seem to suffer from the mental or spiritual consequences of alcoholism and only suffer from the physical effects after many years of drinking, but I believe they are a small minority of those who suffer from alcoholism.
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Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 86
@Anorok; you're quite right in trying to get your mom to relate. She has her triggers that set her off on a smoking binge, and you have yours, the weekend evenings. This is a pretty common trigger for drinking. What's not established yet is how often you drink. Do you drink heavily every weekend? Do you drink more often? Are there weekends when you don't drink.
No that's called black and white thinking. I think a doctor or addiction specialist hearing this post would be a better judge.
This is not justification to continue the addiction, this is asserting that addictions work in the same mechanism, it's only that smoking is more acceptable.
Let's change the substance again, let's say why don't you take heroin ? Because you haven't learned to use it. You haven't learned to use it as a coping mechanism or a pleasure enhancer in the same way you've learned to use alcohol. Your mum hasn't earned to use alcohol in the same way she's using fags.
This is not justification to continue an addiction, but an assertion that addictions work the same way.
If we're trying to explain addiction to someone while we're still addicted...that's called justification.
This is not justification to continue the addiction, this is asserting that addictions work in the same mechanism, it's only that smoking is more acceptable.
Let's change the substance again, let's say why don't you take heroin ? Because you haven't learned to use it. You haven't learned to use it as a coping mechanism or a pleasure enhancer in the same way you've learned to use alcohol. Your mum hasn't earned to use alcohol in the same way she's using fags.
This is not justification to continue an addiction, but an assertion that addictions work the same way.
Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
The consequences for smoking are more health related and long term.
Nobody gets a DWS (Driving While Smoking).
Nobody blacks out and has sex with strangers while smoking.
Nobody loses their job because their job performance is affected by their smoking.
People don't smoke and then abuse their partners and children as a result.
COPD and cancer and heart disease are all slow killers. Not that they should be ignored, but you can live a relatively normal life while smoking unless and until you get sick.
Nobody gets a DWS (Driving While Smoking).
Nobody blacks out and has sex with strangers while smoking.
Nobody loses their job because their job performance is affected by their smoking.
People don't smoke and then abuse their partners and children as a result.
COPD and cancer and heart disease are all slow killers. Not that they should be ignored, but you can live a relatively normal life while smoking unless and until you get sick.
I don’t have a car (never have), I’m in a relationship and not out having sex with people.
I have bad social anxiety so when I drink at home I don’t leave the house.
My parents don’t even live in the same town as me. She only knows I’m drinking If I forget to charge my phone and don’t answer when she calls or texts.
Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Alcoholism is and has been classified as a mental ilness or substance abuse disorder by DSM for quite a long time, yes. The exact term is "Alcohol Use Disorder" to be certain, but a fish is a fish is a fish as they say, right?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,320
There two things I think adequately convey what addiction is, at least to me..
the first:
the first:
THERE'S A HOLE IN MY SIDEWALK
~a poem by Portia Nelson
Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter 5
I walk down another street.
~a poem by Portia Nelson
Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter 5
I walk down another street.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
An old teacher gave me that poem back when I was a troubled teenager and in a special program for kids who weren't doing well in the regular stream. There were about 10 of us in the program and it was so we didn't drop out of High School, we only had to go to school one day a week and the rest of the time we worked, and school was in a trailer at the back of the High School. I was the youngest kid in the class and an underachiever and already totally addicted to drugs. I remember being moved by the poem and even putting the print out up on the wall in my room at home. Good old Mr. Spence! He used to call me Sleeping Beauty because I could never seem to make it to class on time..... I haven't thought about that chapter of my life in a long time, took me a long time, more than 20 years but I'm finally walking down a different street!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 131
Originally Posted by Anarock
No one understands why it is hard to “just not drink” unless they are an alcoholic. My mum has been unimpressed with my weekend drinking every few weeks.
Last night I asked her how many times she tried to quit smoking before she did (she smoked for about 30 years!). She said it’s not the same.
How is it not the same? Is it not an addiction too? You crave how you feel when you do it? Sometimes you chain smoke a while pack at once, sometimes you moderate throughout the day. Try to quit but only last a couple of days, or less?
She had to get help to quit - medication.
Last night I asked her how many times she tried to quit smoking before she did (she smoked for about 30 years!). She said it’s not the same.
How is it not the same? Is it not an addiction too? You crave how you feel when you do it? Sometimes you chain smoke a while pack at once, sometimes you moderate throughout the day. Try to quit but only last a couple of days, or less?
She had to get help to quit - medication.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
Originally Posted by Anarock
This is interesting to me. There’s more to this addiction than the physical dependency I thought.
However we want to think about it, the solution is always the same: Stop drinking alcohol.
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