One More Day
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
O,
In case you hadn't noticed, we are all part of YOUR club.
We are all here because of how cool you are, and how much you mean to us.
I hope that everyone here knows that you actually have a lot of sober time, so its not really a question of knowing.
We all have doubts, don't let anyone tell you differently. Is sober better? Yes, and you know that it. Is sober boring? Sometimes, and we all know that.
I personally love all those dopamines racing through my head. Not enough to let it ruin my life, but I do love it.
I find that being addicted to alcohol has two parts -- obsession and compulsion. For me, the obsession goes away pretty quickly when I don't drink. And when I do drink, the compulsion comes back, right away.
So the puzzle is staying away so I don't obsess and then never touching a drop so I am not compelled.
But the first step for me was taking the decision not to drink ever again and then the action of not drinking. Ever. That decision followed by action totally changed my mind set, and that change in mind set was the key to it all. I took drinking off the table.
Sounds simple, which in a way it is, but we all know its NOT easy. Its hard for a while. And its boring sometimes. And I still miss the dopamines. But for me, just for me, its worth it.
Hang with us. Without you there ain't no club and we love the O Club and its founder.
In case you hadn't noticed, we are all part of YOUR club.
We are all here because of how cool you are, and how much you mean to us.
I hope that everyone here knows that you actually have a lot of sober time, so its not really a question of knowing.
We all have doubts, don't let anyone tell you differently. Is sober better? Yes, and you know that it. Is sober boring? Sometimes, and we all know that.
I personally love all those dopamines racing through my head. Not enough to let it ruin my life, but I do love it.
I find that being addicted to alcohol has two parts -- obsession and compulsion. For me, the obsession goes away pretty quickly when I don't drink. And when I do drink, the compulsion comes back, right away.
So the puzzle is staying away so I don't obsess and then never touching a drop so I am not compelled.
But the first step for me was taking the decision not to drink ever again and then the action of not drinking. Ever. That decision followed by action totally changed my mind set, and that change in mind set was the key to it all. I took drinking off the table.
Sounds simple, which in a way it is, but we all know its NOT easy. Its hard for a while. And its boring sometimes. And I still miss the dopamines. But for me, just for me, its worth it.
Hang with us. Without you there ain't no club and we love the O Club and its founder.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Obladi.
The other side. ......
Sometimes it's pure ****. Just like drinking.
Sometimes it's joy. Just like drinking
Sometimes it's mediocre. Just like drinking.
The drinking causes too much ups and downs and all arounds. At least that has been my experience. Without the drinking I am on a level of consistency with emotions, moods and life in general. My journal may say otherwise but there is consistency in my day to day. There is a routine that has been created that allows for health.
I've thought of drinking this past week. I'm so grateful that I have not acted on it. I just couldn't handle it.
You belong here.
The other side. ......
Sometimes it's pure ****. Just like drinking.
Sometimes it's joy. Just like drinking
Sometimes it's mediocre. Just like drinking.
The drinking causes too much ups and downs and all arounds. At least that has been my experience. Without the drinking I am on a level of consistency with emotions, moods and life in general. My journal may say otherwise but there is consistency in my day to day. There is a routine that has been created that allows for health.
I've thought of drinking this past week. I'm so grateful that I have not acted on it. I just couldn't handle it.
You belong here.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
I am not a therapist, that disclaimer should be more than enough to allow anything that follows impunity , or at the very least cover any smugness or inconsistencies implied or not .
I don't think there is anything wrong with some very pointed and discrete boxing up , singling out and compartmentalizing. It's why , obviously, I'm such an advocate for all things AVRT.
A la Bacon( love bacon) the Beast in order to be commanded needs to be understood, yeah? IT is very pointed , discrete, and single 'minded'ly focused.
Like I've said before, I'm screwed up six ways to Sunday is at least a few areas, being fairly flip about is probably one of them, eh?
Nevertheless , drinking has been taken off the table, making my Big Plan has rendered that no longer an option.
: I will never drink again ,and I will never change my mind : , the irrational commitment/stance that can restore rationality/sanity.
Giving rid of alcohol was getting rid of one thing, that I can/could do(everyone can) but there is a small myriad of things left, yeah ? The theory is a more rational me, sans the booze, has a much better shot at dealing with 'all the rest'.
No more guaranteed dopamine and velvety soft curtain of the ultimate 'timeout'? Yep, No Matter What includes those too, but No Matter What also contains the cessation to further damage to mind, body and soul. No Matter What deals with the actual pouring , lifting and swallowing.
Everything else, everything is just everything else. Unicorns farting rainbows? Yep, but just in that one small (lol) compartment, but it's a huge help, very integral, very.
I don't think there is anything wrong with some very pointed and discrete boxing up , singling out and compartmentalizing. It's why , obviously, I'm such an advocate for all things AVRT.
A la Bacon( love bacon) the Beast in order to be commanded needs to be understood, yeah? IT is very pointed , discrete, and single 'minded'ly focused.
Like I've said before, I'm screwed up six ways to Sunday is at least a few areas, being fairly flip about is probably one of them, eh?
Nevertheless , drinking has been taken off the table, making my Big Plan has rendered that no longer an option.
: I will never drink again ,and I will never change my mind : , the irrational commitment/stance that can restore rationality/sanity.
Giving rid of alcohol was getting rid of one thing, that I can/could do(everyone can) but there is a small myriad of things left, yeah ? The theory is a more rational me, sans the booze, has a much better shot at dealing with 'all the rest'.
No more guaranteed dopamine and velvety soft curtain of the ultimate 'timeout'? Yep, No Matter What includes those too, but No Matter What also contains the cessation to further damage to mind, body and soul. No Matter What deals with the actual pouring , lifting and swallowing.
Everything else, everything is just everything else. Unicorns farting rainbows? Yep, but just in that one small (lol) compartment, but it's a huge help, very integral, very.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
Originally Posted by dwtbd 
I am not a therapist, that disclaimer should be more than enough to allow anything that follows impunity , or at the very least cover any smugness or inconsistencies implied or not .
I don't think there is anything wrong with some very pointed and discrete boxing up , singling out and compartmentalizing. It's why , obviously, I'm such an advocate for all things AVRT.
A la Bacon( love bacon) the Beast in order to be commanded needs to be understood, yeah? IT is very pointed , discrete, and single 'minded'ly focused.
Like I've said before, I'm screwed up six ways to Sunday is at least a few areas, being fairly flip about is probably one of them, eh?
Nevertheless , drinking has been taken off the table, making my Big Plan has rendered that no longer an option.
: I will never drink again ,and I will never change my mind : , the irrational commitment/stance that can restore rationality/sanity.
Giving rid of alcohol was getting rid of one thing, that I can/could do(everyone can) but there is a small myriad of things left, yeah ? The theory is a more rational me, sans the booze, has a much better shot at dealing with 'all the rest'.
No more guaranteed dopamine and velvety soft curtain of the ultimate 'timeout'? Yep, No Matter What includes those too, but No Matter What also contains the cessation to further damage to mind, body and soul. No Matter What deals with the actual pouring , lifting and swallowing.
Everything else, everything is just everything else. Unicorns farting rainbows? Yep, but just in that one small (lol) compartment, but it's a huge help, very integral, very.
I don't think there is anything wrong with some very pointed and discrete boxing up , singling out and compartmentalizing. It's why , obviously, I'm such an advocate for all things AVRT.
A la Bacon( love bacon) the Beast in order to be commanded needs to be understood, yeah? IT is very pointed , discrete, and single 'minded'ly focused.
Like I've said before, I'm screwed up six ways to Sunday is at least a few areas, being fairly flip about is probably one of them, eh?
Nevertheless , drinking has been taken off the table, making my Big Plan has rendered that no longer an option.
: I will never drink again ,and I will never change my mind : , the irrational commitment/stance that can restore rationality/sanity.
Giving rid of alcohol was getting rid of one thing, that I can/could do(everyone can) but there is a small myriad of things left, yeah ? The theory is a more rational me, sans the booze, has a much better shot at dealing with 'all the rest'.
No more guaranteed dopamine and velvety soft curtain of the ultimate 'timeout'? Yep, No Matter What includes those too, but No Matter What also contains the cessation to further damage to mind, body and soul. No Matter What deals with the actual pouring , lifting and swallowing.
Everything else, everything is just everything else. Unicorns farting rainbows? Yep, but just in that one small (lol) compartment, but it's a huge help, very integral, very.
great progress these last five years.
I've gone from daily drinking towards the end to 4 years 11 months sober, with the last month approximately 7-8 fails, but quickly
back on the wagon.
I think what worked to get me back on the straight and narrow was
that idea of "cessation of further damage" which I really internalized,
albeit still imperfectly, from the first serious attempt at quitting.
It went from intellectual to visceral, and that has made all the difference.
Now, if I can just iron out these final relapse bugs, I'll be there.
You can to O
By the way, VP of your fan club
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
O, oh dear...why did you think so many here are hanging around?no need to answer that, of course, but it just struck me last night that this seems like such a good example of skewed perception.
you wonder what is 'on the other side'...well, THIS is, for one. a bunch of people rooting for you, offering support, ideas, questions, provocations, experiences...because we care.
and you don't notice. from over there.
i didn't believe my perceptions and perspectives were awry when i was drinking and/ or newly sober. took quite a while to see it in hindsight. I don't think there is a way around that...if i thought there was, i'd offer it.
you wonder what is 'on the other side'...well, THIS is, for one. a bunch of people rooting for you, offering support, ideas, questions, provocations, experiences...because we care.
and you don't notice. from over there.
i didn't believe my perceptions and perspectives were awry when i was drinking and/ or newly sober. took quite a while to see it in hindsight. I don't think there is a way around that...if i thought there was, i'd offer it.
Life Goes On
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
A la Bacon? How does that fit in to the thesis? I get what you're saying, though. Take the one thing, put it in a safe and throw away the key. Not sure I've ever done that with anything... though I have tried. Hm.
fini, thank you for that. I don't know quite where to go with the skewedness, but it's something to consider. Certainly in my work life, I have a fan club and have no reservation about simply acknowledging (and enjoying the justness) of it. You know that division already - work is one thing, real life is another. Maybe I just need another job!
fini, thank you for that. I don't know quite where to go with the skewedness, but it's something to consider. Certainly in my work life, I have a fan club and have no reservation about simply acknowledging (and enjoying the justness) of it. You know that division already - work is one thing, real life is another. Maybe I just need another job!
Life Goes On
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
What's up?
I don't rightly know but I'm going to let my fingers do the talking and see what comes out.
I helped someone today. Like in a real-life kind of way. And that is good; it's what I aspire to do. But... my inhibition has kicked in. Like I'm an EMT and all I want to do is be there for the rescue. Maybe that's ok in this situation? I don't know.
My daughter and I are existing in the same house and it's a game of distance for both of us. I want to ask her when she's moving but am wary of a confrontation so continue to not ask. And subsequently have reverted to spending the vast majority of time in my room.
I think I need a dog. I have cats and one of them is definitely my companion but I dunno... I still think a dog would be good for me. Get me walking outside and wanting to play and whatnot. Something to think on.
Ok that was all rambling but I guess it's what's up.
Physically: Sour stomach, bit of a headache, I'm ok
Mentally: Blah, sad, grey
Spiritually: Spoke with Mom about guardian angels last night, so there's something there even if I don't/won't acknowledge it. Usually.
I don't rightly know but I'm going to let my fingers do the talking and see what comes out.
I helped someone today. Like in a real-life kind of way. And that is good; it's what I aspire to do. But... my inhibition has kicked in. Like I'm an EMT and all I want to do is be there for the rescue. Maybe that's ok in this situation? I don't know.
My daughter and I are existing in the same house and it's a game of distance for both of us. I want to ask her when she's moving but am wary of a confrontation so continue to not ask. And subsequently have reverted to spending the vast majority of time in my room.
I think I need a dog. I have cats and one of them is definitely my companion but I dunno... I still think a dog would be good for me. Get me walking outside and wanting to play and whatnot. Something to think on.
Ok that was all rambling but I guess it's what's up.
Physically: Sour stomach, bit of a headache, I'm ok
Mentally: Blah, sad, grey
Spiritually: Spoke with Mom about guardian angels last night, so there's something there even if I don't/won't acknowledge it. Usually.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
Francis Bacon , nature in order to be commanded must be obeyed. There is understanding involved in obeying .
You know me , all AVRT all the time , to shove that Beast into and lock the safe involves identifying its nature.
I saw , I think, the help you gave out , doing stuff like that only makes even bigger fans
You know me , all AVRT all the time , to shove that Beast into and lock the safe involves identifying its nature.
I saw , I think, the help you gave out , doing stuff like that only makes even bigger fans
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
O,
i just adopted a new dog.
the issuies are multiple, and becoming more apparent.
and i am quite dog savvy and retired, so have time to train, correct, reward at appropriate times.
and i am quite a while sober.
and overwhelmed with this dog's needs and issues.
please do yourself and a dog the favour of being sober and having a more manageable life before you two get together.
as you know, my last dog died in October. since then, i have found it is quite possible to go walking outside all by myself
or with other people, with or without their dogs.
i just adopted a new dog.
the issuies are multiple, and becoming more apparent.
and i am quite dog savvy and retired, so have time to train, correct, reward at appropriate times.
and i am quite a while sober.
and overwhelmed with this dog's needs and issues.
please do yourself and a dog the favour of being sober and having a more manageable life before you two get together.
as you know, my last dog died in October. since then, i have found it is quite possible to go walking outside all by myself
or with other people, with or without their dogs.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Hey O, whilst in active addiction I lost the dog soul of my life, through old age. Whilst still drinking,I brought a dog into my home, before I entered my forever sobriety......I feel sure my dog helped me, just as much as learning AVRT did.
Since then I have a second dog, in addition to my two cats (and myriad other animals) who persevered with me through my addiction. I neglected myself whilst drinking, but never my pets. If you can offer a dog a loving and caring home, then please do, and soon!
Since then I have a second dog, in addition to my two cats (and myriad other animals) who persevered with me through my addiction. I neglected myself whilst drinking, but never my pets. If you can offer a dog a loving and caring home, then please do, and soon!
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