Obladi

It's raining, it's pouring. I intended to go into work today, but sheesh it's dangerous out there!

2ndhandrose

Just stopping by to say hi and I am glad you are here, O

careful on the roads!

Hawkeye13

Hey O;
Be safe and I'm glad you are here too

Dropsie

O,

How are you today?

Thinking of you.

Obladi

It's been snowing for days. I'd like to write more but do worry about offending. Thanks for checking up on me.

Cow

Is not like you holding anybody hostage inside the thread, O. If people is offended there is always the door, yes? Please let us know what going on with you. If you drinking, that more heartbreaking and unwise than offensive. What compelling you?

fini

ever heard that saying "what others think of me is none of my business"?

there has been, and continues to be, lots to mull over in that for me. i also don't wnt to offend, but know that i'm generally not responsible if someone gets offended.
O, if you'd like to write more, do.
those of us who take offense....well, we have options. Only one of them is the door Cow mentioned; there are others. such as looking at ourselves.

Dropsie

Yes, yes, and yes.

This is your thread. I spent my whole life worrying what people thought of me and whether I had offended anyone, which has gotten me exactly .. nowhere.

We love you, want to help if we can, but please speak your mind. If not here, then where.

JJ991

O, just say what you want to, totally agree with the others.

Hawkeye13

let it fly girl
we're tough

Fusion

Me too, O, I’ve developed a rather thicker skin, since I stopped drinking! I’m also developing my ‘authentic self’, a work in constant progress, it feels good, refreshing.

So please speak your truth, O, it’s your thread. If someone is offended, it shouldn’t be your concern and to be honest, it appears that all the posters on your thread are subscribed to Team O, so have your best interests at heart.

Obladi

Tatsy, you almost made me cry with the Team O reference. I forget sometimes how long you all have been on this journey with me. Ok, I am crying. Thank you.

Truth is, I'm deathly afraid of sober life. The one where you're supposed to make connections with other humans. Because that's what's supposed to make us fulfilled and full of rainbows and whatnot.

But I'm also deathly afraid of ruining my career, which is really the main reason I pull myself out of sodddenness after being there for five days or so. That and middlest - she does it for me but she's an entire continent away.

I know, I know - has to be for you, O. But what if O doesn't want to care about not caring?

dwtbd

But what if O, does?(she does or she wouldn’t wonder)
Still got your card, can’t wait for you to take it.
Rootin for ya

Obladi

Broster, I'm gonna make you my new big brother because the one I had sucked and you are awesome.

JJ991

It reads like you have so much going on in your head O. A chattering mind can be all consuming & so distracting from things that really matter.
How about starting with trying to turn down that chattering mind in any way that floats your boat? Mindfulness, gratitude lists, "thanks mind but you're not helping: etc. You may well think, "pah JJ, get lost", just an idea! I started on a course from anxiety (where all the above comes from) before I got sober but did have alcohol counsellor before then.
I'm droning on! Just trying to say that mind tricks/full brain/chattering mind can get so interlinked with drinking - your mind is telling you getting sober is too scary, you'll have to do things you don't want to do. There is another part of your mind trying to be heard, the one that wants you to think about getting sober or I don't think you'd be here.
Sober isn't scary - it's different, it can be brilliant, it can be tough but it is all so lovely and clear, no foggy brain or hangovers, just life. I can't say I connect with loads of people, I'm an introvert, I like being at home but I do find I go out more...all I did before was come home from work and drink, not such a fun time really. Coming home to play with the kids, cats or whatever is already more fulfilling without even going out though.
Ok I'll stop now, I could drone on for ages tonight!!! Just some of my random thoughts!

Obladi

I'm not sure that's droning and even if it is that's fine by me. You're right - my brain is trying to scare me. And it's succeeding. And that's a shameful thing to me because it's so lame but powerful at the same time. I'm repeating a pattern I've had before with people who take advantage of me...

History shows I eventually become furious at this mistreatment and cut it off. Strong me thinks that could happen again. Maybe it is exactly what's needed. Problem is it's me doing this.

JJ991

No, no, it is anything but lame!! It can be so incredibly powerful, there is no shame here! Shame and guilt need to go and do one, they will keep you in the pattern. Things are what they are, leave all that, time to make a plan to move forward. How do we help you with that plan?

Dropsie

I LOVE this "Sober isn't scary - it's different"

How is my O today?

Obladi

Drops, your girl is hanging in. Youngest pled for an extension of a half month and I granted it without thinking. Should've put her in an Airbnb. God willing I'll think of that next time.

Dropsie

O love,

Why don't you find her a nice Air BNB and bite the bullet.

It is never ever going to be easy, but it needs doing.

Say you thought about it and you think this will be better for her too.

XXX