What's your worst trigger? TW on content obviously
 

I hope this is ok to discuss and that it doesn't trigger anyone to drink. I'd feel terrible if that happened so feel free to head off now if you think this discussion may be too much for you atm because I want everyone to be safe and ok xx


I find that my worst trigger for drinking is boredom. Above everything else, that's the time when my AV really needles at me and tells me how grey life is and how dull and how it will always be this way and that everything I'm surrounded by is beige. It's definitely a facet of my depression too as boredom makes me feel sad and filled with nihilistic tendencies. It's been the biggest struggle so far (except grief which is obviously a huge trigger for most but, hopefully, a lot more rare than boredom). And it's unavoidable because we all get bored of the daily grind, it's a part of life, and you can't let it make you run for the bottle as though that's going to somehow morph the landscape it something more palatable because of course booze doesn't do that. It doesn't help at all. But, when I'm bored, it starts to feel like it would and that seems to be a dangerous time for me.

What's your worst trigger and how did you deal with it? Perhaps we can help each other.

I emptied my gun a long time ago. Nothing could possibly trigger me to take a drink today. For that, I'm eternally grateful.

Boredom was probably the biggest reason I started drinking heavily. Back in 1989 I was 25, in the same relationship with a woman for several years and I was just bored with my life and needed excitement.
That led to several years of hanging in bars and partying real hard and that led to alcohol becoming a necessity in order to function.

After 20+ years of drinking everyday I didn't know how to stop and I feared what would happen if I did stop drinking.

I really don't have many triggers now cause I just refuse to go back to that misery.

Worst Trigger:
Emotions of the sad and overwhelmed type. If there is an upheaval in my routine and I am dealing with too much of life then I am triggered with thoughts. I will not drink and this is not an option today.

So far, I have gone through many many scenarios where thoughts of drinking and thoughts of ending my sobriety entered my mind. I watch those thoughts and emotions and take care of myself in ways that are healthy. I am going to be 10 months sober in January.

Lonliness....

I did not have specific "triggers". As an alcoholic I always found an excuse to drink, no matter what was going on around me. I drank because I was happy, or I drank if I was sad. I drank when I was healthy, or sick. I drank if it was too hot or to cold. Pretty much if I wasn't sleeping or at work I was drinking, all day - every day.

Learning to face life on it's own terms was one of the hardest things about getting sober.

Boredom, isolation and anxiety. Silly thats what I medicated with cause the anxiety just came back later!

For me it's when the liar in my mind returns and tells me I'm "normal".

Immediately after receipt of this faulty information, my ego (big shotism) may follow.

Hopefully, though, the next feeling is the knowledge that I'm not normal, that I can't drink or engage in other risky behavior without consequence, and that God has given me my sobriety in a stewardship capacity (and that He doesn't want me to throw it away).

That's infrequent these days, but, when it comes to alcohol and drugs, I'm not a very bright guy.

I do, however, know where the answers are for me (God and AA, in that order) and I look to them everyday for help with my alcoholism and litany of character defects.

Good topic.

Open bottle of hard liquor in my sight.

Sunday brunch.

Other than the smell of alcohol, for a long time my biggest trigger was Friday night. Actually any night, "work day is over and it's time to drink", but especially Friday night and the start of the weekend, since that had been "drink time" for many, many years. That was where it was important for me to change up my routine and plan ahead - don't go straight home, don't go home the same old way or at the same old time, make immediate plans for what I'd do when I walked in the door, etc. That triggered feeling faded over time, but I had to work at it.

I remember the closest I ever got was during a business trip. I was somewhere around a year or so sober. I was at LAX to catch a flight and had made it through security and been transferred to my concourse. After I got to the concourse the airlines computer system went down so no flights could leave. The concourse was basically for one airline and the airline kept dropping more and more people into concourse even though no flights were leaving. The place became unbearable with no seats and no place to walk. Thats when the air-condition went out and the restaurants closed as it was late at night. My cell phone and lap top were out of batteries with no place to charge them. I had been up since that morning at 6 am to catch a flight to LA for my business meeting. It was now around midnight or so and the only place open was a bar. All the people were singing and laughing and I thought for just a second that one may not hurt. Then I thought this was my Rubicon and if I didnt drink now I got it in the bag. I DIDNT DRINK! I will always remember that night.

It's deceptively simple isn't it? We all have so many different reasons for what led us down this gnarled path but the biggest uniting theme is do not have even one drink, no matter what. It's a shame such a simple thing isn't easy. But it is absolutely necessary.

Towards the end of my drinking...honestly just being awake was a trigger. Because if I was awake and not drinking it meant that I was in withdrawals to some degree, and the the longer I stayed awake without a drink the worse the withdrawals would get.

But before I reached that stage I would say fear was my biggest trigger. Fear came in many flavors for me and manifested itself in many different emotions...anxiety, anger, loneliness, resentment, jealously...you name it. But after sorting out my past it pretty much all boiled down to fear.

I was born with a heart defect and heart surgery has loomed over me my entire life (have had 2 of them in the last 14 years). I think that fear was ingrained in me at an early age, and when I discovered that alcohol eased that fear in my teens it was like the perfect set up for disaster.

I have to stay away from things that pull at my heart strings.
Huge example...someone i keep in touch with from high school was in a severe accident yesterday and her kid was injured pretty bad. hit by a driver that wasn't paying attention.

I found myself starting to boil....like i started getting tunnel vision and like i was having a ptsd attack. i started pacing around and just seething...my hands were balled up...i was shaking really bad..when my wife walked in and saw me.

she pulled me out of it but it scared the crap out of me. my process goes from sad to anger to rage and then things go red basically until i snap out of it. it's never gotten to any violence...it's actually like the complete opposite of that. it's really hard to explain. it's like i get a panic/rage attack when i can't protect someone and i feel powerless. stupid, right? ughh....my wiring is fu@*ed.

so i need to address some issues i think are right at the surface for me. i used to driink because i felt too much and now i wanna know why i process things like i do....more therapy. it gets tiring sometimes but this is a war of attrition against my mental defects. I can't afford to get complacent. not now or ever.

What's your worst trigger?
when i first got sober, everything. but then again,everything wasnt a trigger so much as i didnt know how to do anything but work without drinking-i had drank during everything for many years so drinking somewhat became a naturally unnatural insticnt.
i hadda lotta learning to do.

Anxiety, over thinking.

I'm literally someone that feels like "myself" when I have 2-3 beers in me. I know that I can drink and I'll feel comfortable. I never felt uncomfortable drinking because I would just drink for the buzz. Example 6 pack would last me 3 hours, 12 pack would last me 6 and a 15 pack would last me 8. I'd drink to hold a feeling of comfort and enjoy the time with my anxiety not battering my brain.

I drank to medicate my anxiety and overly active mind. I've learned while being sober I have horrible memory retention and have since I was younger due to how much my mind races, I'm not really able to process things enough to store them long term. I just store little chunks & pieces. I can remember more stuff from when I was drunk than sober.

I wish I knew.
It might be one thing, might be everything.
I start with an addiction counsellor in January and I’m so so hoping they can help me with this!

Friday nights, snow storms, hanging with buddies, playing poker, boredom, being on a beach, vacation, golfing, playing Rugby, watching football, sitting around a fire, fishing, Holidays, NEW YEARS EVE.. . Wait....

Wow.. I think I have an infinite amount of triggers.

One day at a time.

I'm nearly a year sober the temptation has decreased to the point where I don't actually want a drink anymore, the hangover alone pits me off as well as how expensive it is. Also the fact that when i drink im prone to smoking is also another reason why I don't have much desire to go back to drinking.

Apart from when I get very angry, very angry and nihilistic. It's the nihilism that he caused me to drink so much and it's the nihilism that sometimes tempts me back. When I think of how insignificant my life is, and how insignificant the world is, just a little planet floating about in a enormous solar system in an infinite universe. It's those times where I think "**** it, why not have a drink, nothings gonna change either way". But something within tells me not to.

I'm 29 and I'm having an existential crisis.

Rejection. In any form. Creates a panic in me that I can't cope with. I think it's mainly 'cause I reject parts of myself. And overthinking/paranoia is a huge one. That feeling of just wanting everything to stop.