Issue after sobriety
 

I have been reading the forums for years- amazing forum-I have a long family history. Finally gave up drinking for good back in june of this year. Instead of getting support from people at work the opposite happened. I had people saying I was different etc and acting weird. Most didnt but enough did that I was really surprised. Anyone else experience that?

Hi and welcome JJane

A few people gave me that feedback - usually other drinkers and former drinking buddies.

Most people saw how much happier and at peace I was :)

D

Welcome to SR Jane and congrats on your sober time, that's quite an accomplishment. I really didn't share the fact that I quit drinking with anyone other than my immediate family, but yes - some people don't really understand addiction so they may not understand why you quit. I wouldn't worry about it much, what they think is irrelevant anyway - you know why you quit and that's all that matters ;-)

Welcome to the family. :)

Ignore the negative people. After a while, they'll go away. :hug:

By choosing not to drink you are choosing to live. That's all that matters. Nothing to explain to anyone. Nothing to hide. Nothing to be ashamed. It's that simple.

Nobody who knew me when I was drinking ever suggest I was acting different.

However, what I found out fairly quickly was that when you take away the alcohol we didn't have all the much in common.

Today most people knows me as a non-drinker.

Sometimes when I get together with old friends they like to reminisce and laugh about the days when Ken liked to get his drink on. I don't mind but that was decades ago.

I'm more interested in talking about the now.

I know people become concerned about me (my boss in particular) when i was struggling about 6 months in. At that point I wasn't really working on my recovery. I was just staying sober and checking into AA once a week to stay accountable. I hadn't really built up any tools for dealing with life sober at that point and things were starting to get to me (bit of an underexaggeration there). Now i can see that i was, for want of a better phrase, 'white-knuckling' sobriety.

Nowadays people who've known me at work a while say they notice change but positive stuff.

BB

THIS!!!

Congrats on your sober time. Putting that choice first, always, has made a wonderful life for me - and everything and everyone else that matters is on board with it.

Take care. Keep going.

Same here.

The person that gives me the hardest time is my wife, who still drinks alcoholically everyday. We drank together for over 20 years and now in her opinion I am the bad, boring person who decided to get sober and ruin our marriage and home life.

In her mind all I want to do is be healthy, mentally, physically and spiritually - how dare I go and do such an awful thing.

One thing that's easy to forget is that my new-found sobriety was rather threatening to my drinking buddies.

They wished me well, but they cut a pretty wide path around me.

Some of them have drunk themselves to death and, i am afraid, others will.

I was known as the local drunk lawyer.

But that was then.

I have been sober long enough now that almost no one thinks of me that way.

I'm the lawyer who talks to groups of attorneys, judges, law students and others about alcoholism and addiction that the avenues for seeking help with those problems.

Miraculously, I ceased being the poster child for the awful consequences of alcohol and drugs and became, instead, many peoples' image of what recovery can be.

I ain't saying any of that to create the impression that i am a smart guy when it comes to drinking and using.

But i know where the answers are and i have successfully found help in living with my addictions.

Great replies!
 

Thanks to everyone for the replies. I never expected such a negative reaction from those I work with. Glad to hear I am not the only one.

This is the "anonymous" part of AA. For the first six months I only told two people (non-alcoholics) but got enormous support from other recovering addicts in the rooms. No one in my professional life knows I'm in recovery.

Same with me, NYC. I didn't make any big announcement or take selfies with my last beer or save my last empty vodka bottle. I was a secret drinker and my recovery has been secret too. I DO get compliments on my improved appearance and how much my work attitude and mood has improved, so I'm sure people see that something's different, but they're not sure what it is. I'll just leave them guessing.

Yep! I experienced that with some people at work! As a matter of fact, after I told one guy about my recovery, he totally disrespected me and said he would still like to go out and drink with me and made a joke about it!

Yes, life and people can be cruel! Alcoholism also shows no mercy unless we stop drinking for good and change our ways! The BB mentions we are beyond human aid and that we must get the strength to stay sober from a higher power!

What I had to do is have a firm resolve on staying sober and that I must do this for myself and no one else if I'm going to remain sober! Screw the people at work if they don't support you and use that for extra motivation to stay sober!

It’s interesting that people who are around you regularly think you’re acting “weird” in your newfound sobriety.

I’ll tell you what - having been sober for over a year now, I don’t know if I’m acting weird or not-but everybody around me, my family, friends etc. find me acting much different. All for the better.

I have a few old drinking buddies who really don’t seem to want my company anymore, and that’s OK. For the most part though, people like the new me. Most importantly-I love the new me!

I don’t know what you do, or the people you associate with but my thought is that if people at work can’t appreciate you for the positive changes in your life that you are making, or I f you just simply don’t fit in with them anymore, it might just be time to find a new place to work.

Just my thought. Congratulations on your sobriety! Keep it up!