iew101

Well I blew it (kind of). I was sober for 5 months. I quit drinking bc I thought alcohol was causing me physical symptoms and it turned out it was actually poor stress management and OCD.

I passed a big certification test last week and decided “hey I deserve a night out to destress and celebrate.”

In the blink of an eye I drank 5 evenings in a row. Nothing over 10 drinks but real solid nights and buzzes. The consecutive days “thing” was a becoming a common occurrence when I stopped 5 months ago and seems to still be a “thing” now.

The bad news is I woke up Christmas morning and had an intense panic attack. The good news is for the first time ever I actually have no desire for alcohol again. I thank God I was able to pull up from the 5 evening tailspin and will not be risking that again.

Being sober for 5 months has shown me that life really is better sober all around. I am now ready to move on from alcohol like I did marijuana last year.

Today is Day 2 and got out for a quick run. Fingers crossed no withdrawal symptoms.

doggonecarl

Build on the five months you had.

Done4today

Good luck!

Drink plenty of water and good Whole Foods and be prepared for the F its.

Dee74

welcome back

just so I can make sense of it...you found out stress etc was causing the symptoms you worried about and thought maybe alcohol was blameless after all.?

sounds like the kind of rationalisation I made many times too

How you thought about what you might do differently this time to stay sober, iew?

D

theVman31

Welcome back on track.
Five months was a huge success.
Make it happen this time.
We can do it
V.

iew101

I kind of knew in the back of my head the 5 months wasn’t a permanent quit even though I knew it should be. Also, looking back I was definitely trying to say “see it wasn’t from drinking so I can drink after all.” Even though we all know it was a major contributor. Now after experiencing that long streak and also experiencing how crappy I’ve felt after drinking, mentally I’m over drinking. It’s just not for me anymore. Feeling that deep down is a relief.

DarklingSong

I did pretty much the same....five day relapse. Day 2 for me also after being over six months sober. I am glad you made it back. I know for me, I still felt I was missing something. My 5 days of hell tells me different.

Best wishes with your recovery.

iew101

Thank you and same to you. I also felt that way. Guess we both needed to travel the same path to get to our final decision.

Doug39

We all know when we are ready to quit - it is a matter of being honest with yourself.

I stopped drinking for 4 months in 2013 but I did it for all the wrong reasons and my heart wasn't in it so of course I drank again.

Today I have over 14 months sober because I want sobriety more than anything.

waynetheking

Stay on track this time. You'll be fine. Thanks for sharing.

scaredikklegoth

The AV is a sneaky bastard and tends to lie to you. Mine has on occasion said 'See how easy it has been not to drink since you got pregnant? You can't be that bad if you can just stop like this. Maybe the odd drink once the baby arrives would be ok then.' None of that is true at all; it has not been easy, not drinking is not proof that you are fine to keep drinking and the odd drink would not be ok at all. Slap the AV in the face and think of that panic attack next time you get the urge. 5 months is huge. You can do this 👍

AllamericanA

[QUOTE=iew101;6723179]Well I blew it (kind of). I was sober for 5 months. I quit drinking bc I thought alcohol was causing me physical symptoms and it turned out it was actually poor stress management and OCD.

I passed a big certification test last week and decided “hey I deserve a night out to destress and celebrate.”

In the blink of an eye I drank 5 evenings in a row. Nothing over 10 drinks but real solid nights and buzzes. The consecutive days “thing” was a becoming a common occurrence when I stopped 5 months ago and seems to still be a “thing” now.

The bad news is I woke up Christmas morning and had an intense panic attack. The good news is for the first time ever I actually have no desire for alcohol again. I thank God I was able to pull up from the 5 evening tailspin and will not be risking that again.

Being sober for 5 months has shown me that life really is better sober all around. I am now ready to move on from alcohol like I did marijuana last year.

Today is Day 2 and got out for a quick run. Fingers crossed no withdrawal symptoms.[/QUOTE

Congrats I was on day one and relapsed on 16 beers.

iew101

Thank you all for the well wishes and replies. Great support on here.

Minus a trip to the ER for an awful stomach bug last night/today, I am starting to feel like my true self again.

The good thing about the stomach bug is there is nothing left in me at all! Day 4 today.

theVman31

it will get easier as time go's on.
you will probably have some serious mental obession to deal with (cravings) over the next few days but keep you chin up and recognise AV for what it is.

Im on day 9 after a pretty bad relapse.
Had some cravings this morning but kicked them out of my head easily enough. In fact i think i was just hungry and that was feeding the AV. Be safe and be careful to stick to it over the next few days.

We can have a nice little sober foundaton going into 2018

ScottFromWI

Congrats on Day 4 iew, glad to hear that you are starting to feel a little better about yourself ( minus the stomach bug of course! )

NYCDoglvr

So you needed to do a bit of research! Instead of thinking you'll never drink again (none of us know that), I suggest seeing it as you won't drink today. I heard someone in the rooms say "what alcoholics call stress, non-alcoholics call life". I'm sober a long time and can still blow everything out of proportion, although not as often. So happy you're back!