Help Wanted . Must always be available and for no pay !
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 25
Help Wanted . Must always be available and for no pay !
Hello . I have been reading the comments on this site for quite a few months and have tried to get the courage to join up . I did this a couple of weeks ago and started writing in. Because I was drunk at the time that comment got wiped off and failed to get sent. I did the same a few days later and again something went wrong , so now it's third time lucky , (and this time whilst sober ) .
I've been drinking for about 5 years but have really wanted to give it up over the last year or two . Especially these last few weeks as I feel things have got worse as I'm not suffering the hangovers as bad and am now able to drink every day as a result . Also I was actually thinking of drink driving the other day which shocked me as I'm not normally like that . It's started interfering with my job and partner although not to the point of losing both , (at the moment) . The only reason I drink is for the effect , although not been getting much of that these last couple of years ; and also anxiety as I'm not good meeting people at gatherings , so use it as a relaxant . I even drink when really happy and don't need to so perhaps it's just a habit now . I don't want to attend meetings as I'm too nervous and am not particularly religious. Any help or advice would be much appreciated . I've seen postings here about making a plan and I have done that and it helped but didn't stick rigidly to it. I know it's all about will power and I truly want to give up but will power isn't working at the moment. I last drank yesterday (2 bottles of wine) and really hope this is the last time. Sorry for the long posting. Thank you once again for any help proferred . Regards
I've been drinking for about 5 years but have really wanted to give it up over the last year or two . Especially these last few weeks as I feel things have got worse as I'm not suffering the hangovers as bad and am now able to drink every day as a result . Also I was actually thinking of drink driving the other day which shocked me as I'm not normally like that . It's started interfering with my job and partner although not to the point of losing both , (at the moment) . The only reason I drink is for the effect , although not been getting much of that these last couple of years ; and also anxiety as I'm not good meeting people at gatherings , so use it as a relaxant . I even drink when really happy and don't need to so perhaps it's just a habit now . I don't want to attend meetings as I'm too nervous and am not particularly religious. Any help or advice would be much appreciated . I've seen postings here about making a plan and I have done that and it helped but didn't stick rigidly to it. I know it's all about will power and I truly want to give up but will power isn't working at the moment. I last drank yesterday (2 bottles of wine) and really hope this is the last time. Sorry for the long posting. Thank you once again for any help proferred . Regards
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: England
Posts: 645
Firstly welcome!
As you say that you've been reading here for quite a while then you know that sobriety takes work. Well done too on having a plan although maybe it needs some tweaking.
I had to laugh at your username because one of the drunken facts I used to trot out, to anyone that was listen, was how hot summer of 76 was in the uk and thus led to a potato shortage and the price of a portion of chips going up! I can still see my wife rolling her eyes. lol. Yep, I was a mean drunk or a boring drunk.
As you say that you've been reading here for quite a while then you know that sobriety takes work. Well done too on having a plan although maybe it needs some tweaking.
I had to laugh at your username because one of the drunken facts I used to trot out, to anyone that was listen, was how hot summer of 76 was in the uk and thus led to a potato shortage and the price of a portion of chips going up! I can still see my wife rolling her eyes. lol. Yep, I was a mean drunk or a boring drunk.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 49
Welcome 
SR is always here - and it's free!! Today could be the start of a new life for you. I hope you find some hope in the threads and postings.
P.S - I know how hard it can be to attend a meeting and the anxiety and fear that goes along with it. But AA genuinely is not a religious program and there is a lot of love and connection in the rooms. Maybe one day when you're comfortable around here you will check one out. I know they offer a solution which has worked for thousands and thousands of alcoholics for many years, and I found a whole new way of living in the rooms.
SR is always here - and it's free!! Today could be the start of a new life for you. I hope you find some hope in the threads and postings.P.S - I know how hard it can be to attend a meeting and the anxiety and fear that goes along with it. But AA genuinely is not a religious program and there is a lot of love and connection in the rooms. Maybe one day when you're comfortable around here you will check one out. I know they offer a solution which has worked for thousands and thousands of alcoholics for many years, and I found a whole new way of living in the rooms.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Welcome Summer to SR,
Getting sober and staying sober takes work. If you want it, then you have to put the bottle down and get a couple days under your belt. There is more to it than will power. Have you ever tried to will the remote to the TV to come across the room? It didn't work, you had to walk over and grab. You did the work and you accomplished the goal. It's the same for getting sober. First thing, don't drink. Find something to do with your time (AA meetings?). Find a support group that understands you (other alcoholics). It is really that easy but you have to do the work daily.
Good luck, post here often, and don't drink.
Getting sober and staying sober takes work. If you want it, then you have to put the bottle down and get a couple days under your belt. There is more to it than will power. Have you ever tried to will the remote to the TV to come across the room? It didn't work, you had to walk over and grab. You did the work and you accomplished the goal. It's the same for getting sober. First thing, don't drink. Find something to do with your time (AA meetings?). Find a support group that understands you (other alcoholics). It is really that easy but you have to do the work daily.
Good luck, post here often, and don't drink.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR summer - lots of good advice here already. I'd echo that quitting drinking is a lot more than just "willpower". It's about accepting our addiction for what it is, and then learning new ways to deal with/face the life that's going on all around us. It's definitely possible and an exciting/new way to live - hope you can stick around and learn/joint us for some conversation.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Originally Posted by Summerof76 
I even drink when really happy and don't need to so perhaps it's just a habit now .
The first 5 to 7 years of my drinking was all about having fun, going to bars and socializing. It led to a daily habit.
I can remember the times when I was alone and didn't even feel like drinking; but I still drank because it was what I did.
I ended up drinking every single day for 27 years and most of it was horrible.
I saw a lead at an AA meeting today where the guy quit drinking at age 21. That was 29 years ago. I envy that.
Quit now before alcohol ruins your life.
Soberado
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Cleveland Ohio-ish
Posts: 395
Welcome,
I wish there was a magic formula and a recipe to stop drinking, I certainly did not find one. Have faith in yourself that you can quit and seek help and advise when you are struggling, you need to want it 100%.
Good luck to you.
I wish there was a magic formula and a recipe to stop drinking, I certainly did not find one. Have faith in yourself that you can quit and seek help and advise when you are struggling, you need to want it 100%.
Good luck to you.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
My will power kept me drunk for 40 years. Most good alcoholics have plenty of it when it comes to drinking everyday, it's a lot of work! Finally when I had enough I stuffed my pride and went into the rooms. Btw, always available and only costs a buck in the basket at ones discretion.
There is a quote that rings true to me I find useful; "There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation." — Herbert Spencer.
Welcome friend, glad your'e here
There is a quote that rings true to me I find useful; "There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation." — Herbert Spencer.
Welcome friend, glad your'e here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 25
Thank you for the warm welcome .
It's the middle of the night as I write this but it's OK as I'm sober. Just want to thank you all for your kind and helpful replies . Knowing that other people know what I'm going through and are willing to help with advice , is like having the referee in a football match as your 12th player . A few replies to some of your suggestions : I will consider joining a local group , even though the thought isn't appealing ; (I don't even like mixing with groups of people that I do know in a sociable setting , without a drink , let alone to open up to complete strangers. It took me a few weeks just to join up to here ) ! I'm at that stage now though , where I'll try anything . I will fine tune a plan . I will do this at the weekend when I can really give it some thought . I'll be OK until then as I'll be doing a lot of driving and a lot of working these next few days , ()
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 25
Thank you for the warm welcome .
It's the middle of the night as I write this and I'm tired and can't sleep but it's all good as I'm sober. Just want to thank you all for your kind and helpful replies . Knowing that other people know what I'm going through and are willing to help with advice , is like having the referee in a football match as your 12th player . A few replies to some of your suggestions :
I will consider joining a local group , even though the thought isn't appealing ; (I don't even like mixing with groups of people that I do know in a sociable setting , without a drink , let alone to open up to complete strangers. It took me a few weeks just to join up to here ) ! I'm at that stage now though , where I'll try anything .
I will fine tune a plan . I will do this at the weekend when I can really give it some thought . I'll be OK until then,(I hope), as I'll be doing a lot of working and driving , (saying that I should have driven my partner to hospital and myself to work afterwards yesterday but could do neither as I knew I would be over the limit from the previous night's imbibing . As she was about to take me to work she painfully turned around in her seat ,looked me in the eye , and said , "please don't drink anymore." That hurt. To see this pain she is going through , (and probably will do for a few more weeks) and my adding to it through my selfishness hit home . She won't be driving anywhere again until she's better.I won't let her down again.
I'll also keep posting here ,but perhaps get a few days under my belt first. If I can post this time next week , saying I'm still sober , I'll consider that some kind of achievement , getting through this period an all . So thank you once again for your help and all the very best to you all . Oh and one last thing. I love my chips...but I'd gladly never eat another one again if I could experience an eternal '76 summer ! Regards.
I will consider joining a local group , even though the thought isn't appealing ; (I don't even like mixing with groups of people that I do know in a sociable setting , without a drink , let alone to open up to complete strangers. It took me a few weeks just to join up to here ) ! I'm at that stage now though , where I'll try anything .
I will fine tune a plan . I will do this at the weekend when I can really give it some thought . I'll be OK until then,(I hope), as I'll be doing a lot of working and driving , (saying that I should have driven my partner to hospital and myself to work afterwards yesterday but could do neither as I knew I would be over the limit from the previous night's imbibing . As she was about to take me to work she painfully turned around in her seat ,looked me in the eye , and said , "please don't drink anymore." That hurt. To see this pain she is going through , (and probably will do for a few more weeks) and my adding to it through my selfishness hit home . She won't be driving anywhere again until she's better.I won't let her down again.
I'll also keep posting here ,but perhaps get a few days under my belt first. If I can post this time next week , saying I'm still sober , I'll consider that some kind of achievement , getting through this period an all . So thank you once again for your help and all the very best to you all . Oh and one last thing. I love my chips...but I'd gladly never eat another one again if I could experience an eternal '76 summer ! Regards.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 25
Oops didn't realise posted previously.
Sorry for the confusion. Take the 2nd post as this is the fine tuned version .Not particularly computer literate and am tired, (and have fat fingers hitting the "Submit Reply " button way too early ) !
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