AA simply not for me
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by feldknocker 
My personal opinion is that there is way more we don't know or understand about addiction that what we do know or understand. AA offers an understanding based upon the disease concept, the need for a higher power and working with others. It has been very helpful for me.
That said, if someone doesn't believe alcoholism is a disease, I can't tell them they're wrong. I'm not sure I believe that. For someone who doesn't see it this way, AA may not be the right place. This is why I am totally against court ordered AA.
That said, if someone doesn't believe alcoholism is a disease, I can't tell them they're wrong. I'm not sure I believe that. For someone who doesn't see it this way, AA may not be the right place. This is why I am totally against court ordered AA.
However, today there are a variety of methods for recovery.
So give them a shot of AA isn't for you. It's not important how you get sober but you learn to live life without drinking.
DOS: 08-16-2012
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Central Iowa
Posts: 365
Originally Posted by Doug39
I firmly believe God is responsible for my sobriety and he sent me to AA.
I wasn't forced into the rooms through a court or rehab, nobody even told me to try AA.
I stopped drinking on October 24, 2016 and 2 months later the thought of AA popped into my head out of nowhere and I went to my first meeting January 4, 2017.
I feel that God planted that seed.
I wasn't forced into the rooms through a court or rehab, nobody even told me to try AA.
I stopped drinking on October 24, 2016 and 2 months later the thought of AA popped into my head out of nowhere and I went to my first meeting January 4, 2017.
I feel that God planted that seed.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Originally Posted by 0percentABV
God? Well as it turns out I, ME, MYSELF stopped without having to believe in a higher power.
I was self centered and out for myself way before I drank. I need to believe in and have faith in something larger than me.
What do you believe happens when we die? Nothing? What is the point of life if we just die and that is the end? Might as well drink and die.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: MPLS, MN
Posts: 164
Originally Posted by Doug39
What do you believe happens when we die? Nothing? What is the point of life if we just die and that is the end? Might as well drink and die.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Doug39
Well I am glad you found your way. But to me, putting down the drink is a small part of sobriety; changing my attitude, my thinking and my way of life is the major part of sobriety that I get from AA.
I was self centered and out for myself way before I drank. I need to believe in and have faith in something larger than me.
What do you believe happens when we die? Nothing? What is the point of life if we just die and that is the end? Might as well drink and die.
I was self centered and out for myself way before I drank. I need to believe in and have faith in something larger than me.
What do you believe happens when we die? Nothing? What is the point of life if we just die and that is the end? Might as well drink and die.
There was a doctor I knew years back who was prominent in his field. One day I asked about those who had a near death experience . People who talked about seeing their body lying on the ground as they floated overhead or about seeing their loved ones.
This doctor said as the body breaks down the brain releases a morphine like chemical which can bring about a euphoric sensation.
He went on to say it was mans need to explain such an experience the shaman or holy man was born. And out of this grew religion.
So than I asked what does happen when we die?
He said we live on in the memory of others.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Originally Posted by 0percentABV
God? Well as it turns out I, ME, MYSELF stopped without having to believe in a higher power. To me what IS essential is taking your sobriety seriously, wear it like a badge of honor and change your way of life. You need to replace those hours of drinking with something else. If staying at home writing books works then go for it.
So I did, by separating from the habituated neuronal loops in my brain which were addicted to alcohol due to increased intake and tolerance (lower self primitive brain thoughts and craving - the AV) and attaching and listening to the higher brain’s thoughts (neo-cortex -ME that wanted desparately to stop drinking for good).
This ended my addiction, because any thought or craving which suggesed a drink, is not ME, but my primitive, habituated lower brain, which is subservient to my higher brain, no matter how big an AV toddler tantrum it throws, it cannot make me pick up a drink.
Every time the AV throws a craving tantrum, and I ignore it, the miracle of neuro plasticity occurs, and the same habituated neuronal circuit loops that created and fed addiction, become less used. And the new habituated neuronal circuit which supports my non-drinking self, becomes deeper, stronger and ultimately it’s a complete and automatic, subconscious bypass program in my brain. Although there are occasional AV activity which bubbles up into my consciousness, which I instantl dismiss, because I don’t drink.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,654
Originally Posted by Doug39
What do you believe happens when we die? Nothing? What is the point of life if we just die and that is the end? Might as well drink and die.
For me, I became sober in order to make the most of whatever is left of this, my only ‘present’ life: to stop squandering it, in an alcohol induced stupor of ‘unpresentness’, which most certainly was collapsing rapidly into a self-inflicted death spiral.
If, when I die, I discover there’s an after-life, that’s a bonus, but for now, I’ll never drink again in this lifetime and I’ll spend it living consciously and present; with right thinking and right action and any thoughts that don’t support my right thinking (true self) are AV (false habituated self.)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 446
Originally Posted by Tatsy
For me, I became sober in order to make the most of whatever is left of this, my only ‘present’ life: to stop squandering it, in an alcohol induced stupor of ‘unpresentness’, which most certainly was collapsing rapidly into a self-inflicted death spiral.
If, when I die, I discover there’s an after-life, that’s a bonus, but for now, I’ll never drink again in this lifetime and I’ll spend it living consciously and present; with right thinking and right action and any thoughts that don’t support my right thinking (true self) are AV (false habituated self.)
Love your thoughts, they describe excatly how I feel! Would you mind sharing what you’ve read to support your recovery, be it neuroscience or spiritual? Thanks!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Folks - let please remember that we are here to help each other, not criticize or argue. We all have different ways of going about our sobriety, and we also have different faiths, views etc.
What we do all have in common though is a desire to get and stay sober. Let's help each other get there rather than squabbling about how.
What we do all have in common though is a desire to get and stay sober. Let's help each other get there rather than squabbling about how.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
I think what it boils down to is that we are all different. Some of us need to believe that there is something greater than us and a place where we will go when we die. That concept motivates us to quit.
Others quit for their kids, their wife or their self.
The bottom line is whether its AA, God, love or selfishness quitting for good is the only way to live a more fulfilling life.
Others quit for their kids, their wife or their self.
The bottom line is whether its AA, God, love or selfishness quitting for good is the only way to live a more fulfilling life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I believe alcoholism is a mental illness (a disease is biological in origin). At one point I really screwed up at work because of alcoholism and the head of employee relations told me to go to AA. I sat in the back of rooms for ten days, my arms crossed and decided it was a program for born-again yuppies, I wasn't like them, and returned to drinking. Eight years later I crawled back on my hands and knees after a very close brush with death. Fortunately I saw that my best thinking got me drunk and said "tell me what to do". Without the desperation I never would have gone, taken suggestions and healed. Some 26 years later I'm grateful, I owe AA my life.
But through the years I've seen people get sober without AA. It works for them and that's great. AA is for people who want it, not for people who need it. I'm still an agnostic (for me GOD = group of drunks).
A big hug to you!
But through the years I've seen people get sober without AA. It works for them and that's great. AA is for people who want it, not for people who need it. I'm still an agnostic (for me GOD = group of drunks).
A big hug to you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I think any program that is "worked" by the individual will work for them. I was in therapy last week and the professional mentioned AA a few times as a resource or if I was attending. My take on the situation and what I said to him was this, "I believe that there are many roads to the same destination. If the end goal is long lasting, permanent sobriety, it doesnt matter the road just as long as we are making it there"
For me, I have focused on implementing my own "program" or "way of living" that does not include alcohol. I wake up and run everyday. I cannot run with a hangover and so drinking is not an option and has not been for 9 months. I log on to SR daily and read, journal and participate to keep myself accountable and grounded in my mission to abstain from alcohol. I make it a point to spend at least 10 to 15 minutes a day reading or learning about alcoholism and my own recovery. I talk about my recovery and try connect with individuals who are recovering.
Take the road that works for you. Keep looking for the actions that produce positive results in your life and that make you proud. Whatever work you have done thus far has proven to be beneficial. Keep doing that work and add in more positives as you go. Soon enough you will have a tool box of steps and knowledge of yourself to maintain your sobriety on your terms. It is well worth the time and the effort.
For me, I have focused on implementing my own "program" or "way of living" that does not include alcohol. I wake up and run everyday. I cannot run with a hangover and so drinking is not an option and has not been for 9 months. I log on to SR daily and read, journal and participate to keep myself accountable and grounded in my mission to abstain from alcohol. I make it a point to spend at least 10 to 15 minutes a day reading or learning about alcoholism and my own recovery. I talk about my recovery and try connect with individuals who are recovering.
Take the road that works for you. Keep looking for the actions that produce positive results in your life and that make you proud. Whatever work you have done thus far has proven to be beneficial. Keep doing that work and add in more positives as you go. Soon enough you will have a tool box of steps and knowledge of yourself to maintain your sobriety on your terms. It is well worth the time and the effort.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Mizzuno
I think any program that is "worked" by the individual will work for them. I was in therapy last week and the professional mentioned AA a few times as a resource or if I was attending. My take on the situation and what I said to him was this, "I believe that there are many roads to the same destination. If the end goal is long lasting, permanent sobriety, it doesnt matter the road just as long as we are making it there"
For me, I have focused on implementing my own "program" or "way of living" that does not include alcohol. I wake up and run everyday. I cannot run with a hangover and so drinking is not an option and has not been for 9 months. I log on to SR daily and read, journal and participate to keep myself accountable and grounded in my mission to abstain from alcohol. I make it a point to spend at least 10 to 15 minutes a day reading or learning about alcoholism and my own recovery. I talk about my recovery and try connect with individuals who are recovering.
Take the road that works for you. Keep looking for the actions that produce positive results in your life and that make you proud. Whatever work you have done thus far has proven to be beneficial. Keep doing that work and add in more positives as you go. Soon enough you will have a tool box of steps and knowledge of yourself to maintain your sobriety on your terms. It is well worth the time and the effort.
For me, I have focused on implementing my own "program" or "way of living" that does not include alcohol. I wake up and run everyday. I cannot run with a hangover and so drinking is not an option and has not been for 9 months. I log on to SR daily and read, journal and participate to keep myself accountable and grounded in my mission to abstain from alcohol. I make it a point to spend at least 10 to 15 minutes a day reading or learning about alcoholism and my own recovery. I talk about my recovery and try connect with individuals who are recovering.
Take the road that works for you. Keep looking for the actions that produce positive results in your life and that make you proud. Whatever work you have done thus far has proven to be beneficial. Keep doing that work and add in more positives as you go. Soon enough you will have a tool box of steps and knowledge of yourself to maintain your sobriety on your terms. It is well worth the time and the effort.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I've read some statistically significant studies that show that the success rate for long term sobriety are about the same for all programs, including 12 Step. What I believe to be crucial for long term abstinence s to work some kind of program, whether it be SoberRecovery, 12 Step, rational recovery, Christian faith and prayer, Buddhist meditation Refuge Recovery, ayuhuasca and shamanism, yoga, journaling, or some combination.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: California
Posts: 534
I made the decision about two months ago to stop attending AA meetings. I go to Refuge Recovery, LifeRing and sometimes SMART. I did find a women's AA meeting that I liked but every time we read the steps or read from the Big Book, I still felt something deep inside me screaming "No!". It's a similar feeling I got when my mom forced me to go to born again Christian churches. I can't fully articulate the resistance I have, but it is very strong.
My therapist is concerned that I've ruled out AA because it's such a universal recovery program with meetings anytime you need them. I get that argument. I did an IOP meeting a few years ago and the therapists there had the same concern about my resistance to AA. I have mixed feelings about this bias because I believe health care practitioners should encourage all recovery programs. Same goes for the courts, but that is getting into a whole other issue we probably shouldn't touch.
My current therapist just really wants me to do something. I've been slacking on meetings lately. Saturday's RR meetings was my first meeting in almost 3 weeks. I think if I talked to more people after the meeting and made connections it would make me more accountable to attend more meetings. Alas, I am also an introvert.
SR plays a huge role in my recovery and I am grateful for this source of support.
My therapist is concerned that I've ruled out AA because it's such a universal recovery program with meetings anytime you need them. I get that argument. I did an IOP meeting a few years ago and the therapists there had the same concern about my resistance to AA. I have mixed feelings about this bias because I believe health care practitioners should encourage all recovery programs. Same goes for the courts, but that is getting into a whole other issue we probably shouldn't touch.
My current therapist just really wants me to do something. I've been slacking on meetings lately. Saturday's RR meetings was my first meeting in almost 3 weeks. I think if I talked to more people after the meeting and made connections it would make me more accountable to attend more meetings. Alas, I am also an introvert.
SR plays a huge role in my recovery and I am grateful for this source of support.
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