scarly

I clicked on the link you posted....I got no message saying "page is blocked"....in fact ..the link took me right to the meetings list...

corriec

Scarly, I'm talking about my friends on SR. But, please, without me being nasty or petty in return: if you don't want to count yourself as one of them, that's fine with me?

I'm trying to send the screenshot, but it just says it is too big. If you PM me your email, I will send it to you. I'm really not in the habit of lying about things ; even small things like this.

scarly

I meant no disrespect. I was just trying to help....sorry. If you're on SR...you are a friend of mine.

Stayingsassy

Hi Corrie, I have drifted from AA also, but for different reasons, personal ones.

My life is busy. I have every hour scheduled up with all the things I wasn’t doing drinking, there is still so much to do and I sit in AA meetings not soaking it all in and resenting the time away from family and chores which was not helping my sobriety.

I also felt uncomfortable with the idea that if I got very immersed in it, then stopped going, I would drink again. I didn’t want meetings keeping me from drinking, I was also worried that if at some point I decided it wasn’t for me, I might drink over that too.

I went to IOP in 2016 and it was very structured, it wasn’t necessarily aa based, more like group therapy. I never finished the program because it cost too much money, so I stopped going....and started drinking.

I realized that I didn’t want my external supports holding me up, I wanted an internal locus of control. I wanted my thinking, my life, and my resolve to hold me up, because I take “me” with me wherever I go, and if I can rely on me, I can do anything.

So I use AVRT. I have a big plan to never drink again. II use thought stopping and thinking it through to the end. I use personal empowerment to stay on top of the beast, as hard as that is sometimes. I repeat to myself as a personal mantra several times a day that “I do not drink and I never will, no matter what.” The beast hates it and throws fits in my head but I see him coming before he has a chance to sneak up on me. I post weird posts here about the beast activity in my head, to take its power away from me, because I am not my beast....and I have the power. That’s the only way it’s going to work for me.

Any method of recovery that works is an excellent method of recovery. AA has done remarkable things for many people and I believe all alcoholics should go to some meetings, put themselves out there and explore it. I also believe any recovery group that works is a good one.

And we are all on our own sober path. What needs to be understood? If you are relapsing on your path, whatever path it is, it is the wrong one, and some soul searching is in order.

Dropsie

Corrie,

I understand where you are coming from.

There does seem to be a bias that those of us who don't go to AA for whatever reason just don't get it.

But there are many here like SS who do AVRT, which is essentially a solo thing, together with our virtual friends here of course. You might want to check out the Secular Connections area of this site, folks don't post there as often, but its good stuff that might resonate with you.

I also loved Hip Sobriety's online course -- she is terrific and gets it, at least how I see it. Sassy, you might want to check it out -- its not too costly and so interesting.

We are all addicted to alcohol, but other than that we are all just people and people are different, so not surprising that recovery is different for each of us.

Personally I stopped without going to any meetings of any kind except the Hip Sobriety school after a year or so, and hanging out with Dee and my mates here. Did not even do AVRT, just clicked in my head and that was it. But that was the stopping drinking part, the fixing myself is a never ending project, but making head way.

When I realised that I was truly addicted to alcohol I stopped because the only other option was a series of Day Ones and that was just too hard and was ruining my life. I am the most social person in the world but sitting around talking about drinking for the rest of my life had no appeal at all.

But I did read living sober and lots of other stuff. The best thing I read was Peter Michealson's book, Why we suffer, which I would highly recommend, together with hip sobriety, but that was me and you is you.

I am also trying to write a book, is that your profession? Now that takes discipline -- if you can write a book, you can slay this beast.

Hang in there, and get this done, whatever works for you. The one thing we all share is the knowledge that life is so much better on the other side -- sadly not perfect, but sooo much better.

Would love to hear about your writing!

FBL

Corriec, how are you doing today? The key is to find something that works for you and then work it. Daily visits to SR and a couple different FB recovery groups have been working for me for the past 8.5 years.

steve-in-kville

I've said this before here on SR.... everyone needs a plan. I myself am not a 12-stepper for various reasons. I do look to God and my church for support and accountability. Another thing that was most likely the biggest break though (for me anyway) was identifying some things from my past and accepting what happened and moving forward.

But as others have said, YMMV.

SoberCAH

We're just glad you're here and trying to get and stay sober.

We wish you the best with whatever methodology you choose.

Keep us posted.

As an aside, I was rather introverted, too, when I got sober.

I'm not now, but nor am I (and I have no desire to become) the life of the party.

waynetheking

You have a disease that is trying to kill you. Please do not rule out options. Try to add options. Give yourself every tool available. Use the one's that work for you. The main thing is you don't drink.
Hang in there, it gets easier with time.

corriec

Thank you so very much, every last one of my SR friends who have replied to this post; thank you for your support, and thank you for sharing your invaluable experience/s with me. Sassy, Dropsie, Beer-lover, Steve, Sober, Wayne, et al...
It's 7am in the morning here (Tuesday), and the start of day 10 for me. I will not drink today!
Corrie

Stayingsassy

Day 10!!! You're over that horrible first week, you've got momentum now, now it is just: no drinking, no matter what, no matter how hard it gets at times. Relax through the holidays with better sleep and peace of mind.

FBL

10 days is GREAT! Keep it up, it just keeps getting better and better.

Doug39

I am coming up on 14 months sober. I have been going to AA for 11 months.

I started praying and started going to church about 8 months ago. Until I developed my spirituality, sobriety and AA wasn't working.

Today God and church are number one in my life; I still go to up to 10 AA meetings per week but I will admit that lately I have been using the rooms as a safe place to hang out and socialize. I need to step it up and get back to working the program.

I haven't seen my sponsor in a week and haven't talked to him since last Friday - going to see him at a meeting today and I will surely get an earful.

hellrzr

Doug, just a cautionary observation I have made in AA. I have heard stories from many members who find a pathway back to church after getting into AA. The caution is that some of them start getting active in church and fade away from AA. Seems like many of them relapse and then end up back in AA completely confused as to what happened. Just remember that AA works because you work the program and are helping another alcoholics. You don't get those things in church. A higher power is a big part of the program but certainly not the only part. It's great you are finding church again though and active in it! You can certainly do both but just don't forget that AA is why you are sober.

August252015

Corrie- I popped back into see if you had commented more on this thread- so glad you are into your second week! Have a great day (Thursday, barely, here in Atlanta!). take care.

Darth Paul

You have to work out your own salvation.I don't go to AA that often, but for some that is the only way.If you can quit all by yourself, that is outstanding.

Doug39

I firmly believe God is responsible for my sobriety and he sent me to AA.

I wasn't forced into the rooms through a court or rehab, nobody even told me to try AA.

I stopped drinking on October 24, 2016 and 2 months later the thought of AA popped into my head out of nowhere and I went to my first meeting January 4, 2017.

I feel that God planted that seed.

0percentABV

I'm almost 5 years sober now. Went to and AA meeting on day one and never went back. I'm also an atheist. I don't drink coffee either. Point is that before one gets sober there are all these things you are suppose to do or be when you are sober and none of that is true. You can do it your way. HOWEVER leave every option on the table. I was ready to go to AA repeatedly if needed but as it turns out it wasn't needed. I had inpatient as an option, turns out I didn't need that either. I tried to drink coffee but that just made my heart race so I stopped doing that. God? Well as it turns out I, ME, MYSELF stopped without having to believe in a higher power. To me what IS essential is taking your sobriety seriously, wear it like a badge of honor and change your way of life. You need to replace those hours of drinking with something else. If staying at home writing books works then go for it. But if it's the same thing you did while drinking then I fear sobriety won't last. I've found that change and a plan is key.

But honestly, be open to EVERYTHING even AA. I'm a major introvert too but when it comes to being sober and being ALIVE then I will do ANYTHING. You seem to be setting some ground rules to your sobriety and alcohol will find a way through those cracks. I hope you are successful but if not, please consider anything. I'm not sure how many times you have stopped only to start again but if it's more than once then I believe it's time for a new approach.

markinny

exactly how I feel

feldknocker

My personal opinion is that there is way more we don't know or understand about addiction that what we do know or understand. AA offers an understanding based upon the disease concept, the need for a higher power and working with others. It has been very helpful for me.

That said, if someone doesn't believe alcoholism is a disease, I can't tell them they're wrong. I'm not sure I believe that. For someone who doesn't see it this way, AA may not be the right place. This is why I am totally against court ordered AA.