Brookie

Reading something on another thread about compulsive behavior kind of got me thinking. I recognized a guy at a meeting this morning who is either a billionare or close to it. At the least, his net worth would be in the hundreds of millions of dollars. Yesterday, I was at a meeting with a writer who has been a hero of mine for a long time. We've had plenty of pro atheletes come through the meetings I attend here in Houston as well.

In my own life, I've had periods of almost non-stop drinking and/or drugging, and literally years when I'd work 14-hour days with usually relatively controlled drinking. I ran a lot last year, and after about three months of running, I signed up for a marathon training program (and eventually ran a 1/2 marathon). It seems like there's something genetically in me that prevents me from doing things in moderation.

Just curious if others have identified that personality trait in themselves.

ted

USUALLY ALL OR NOTHING FOR ME.
IT'S IN AN ADDICTS NATURE I BELIEVE.
ME BEING BI POLAR MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT ALSO.
RODE HARD,PUT AWAY WET
OH AND JOE :slap: THAT'S FOR THE STEELER REMARK.......ted

Brookie

Cracked me up, Ted. I was beginning to wonder if you'd seen it. Apparently revenge is a dish best served cold.

1Marty

Hey Joe! I can definatelty relate here. Its all or nothing for me too. For me I struggle with the constant need for perfection. An unrealistic goal. I just don't feel fullfilled unless everything in life is set to the max. Needless to say, that situation has caused great stress in my life. I need to remember the AA saying "easy does it".

Chy

I'm just going to say.. ohhhh yeah!

DesertEyes

You mean there's people who do _not_ work 14 hour days, 7 days a week? Sheesh, what a boring life that must be! ;-)

Mike :-)

Quinn

I'm an all or nothing kind of person too. I used to think that I was just "Driven" - heck, maybe it's OCD!

Stoic

That describes me to a T as well. Can't do anything half-way. I too got into running, eventually doing five marathons over a couple of years. Totally immersed in everything I decided to do. Life is simpler, and better, now.

Brookie

I used to really hate that expression, but it's starting to grow on me.

TorontoGuy28

Same here.. I am a perfectionist and can't settle for second best.. A true "Type A" personality..

Music

I started lifting weights about 20 years ago. And, as usual, I went at it full bore. One day I noticed that when I wasn't able to get to the gym, I felt guilty. GUILTY!! For what? Because I was going to miss one day at the gym? Geesh! Then it dawned on me that this weightlifting was supposed to be a hobby...fun. I wasn't having fun feeling guilty. So, I changed my attitude and priorities. I still go every day but my attitude is different. If something comes up with the family or friends, I blow it off and don't feel guilty any more.

My son told me one day that I walk like I have all the time in the world. I just looked at him, smiled and winked. I didn't have to say anything more.

best

Knowing is half the battle I heard it said.

I found that knowing is more like 90% solution to the battle.
Knowing I tend to be a perfectionist. A all or nothing kind of guy.
Champagne taste on a beer budget type of guy.
Sure is nice finding out we can enjoy the simple things in life and enjoy them even more so when we stop taking count and take the “time” to enjoy.
Today I slow down in my compulsion but in slowing down I become compulsive there as well *LOL*
SO today I will do what needs be done and enjoy as much as I can in a simple matter.
If it doesn't "need" be done... I didn't need do it. More time to enjoy what life brings that way.
Now where is that fly rod?

minnie

Interesting thread, guys.

Just out of interest, did all you "all or nothing" people grow up in an alcoholic home? I only ask because we were talking about this at a recent al-anon meeting.

Love

Minnie
xxxx

best

or middle child? or...

I feel it is just who I am. My wife is not the perfectionist nore is she a all or nothing type. She is a just do it, get it done hard worker. Both from an alcoholic home but different type of alcoholic personalities in each home.
I am one of 11 children. You will see 11 different kinds of people when you look at us. 11 degrees of addition or alcoholism or drinking as well.

Stoic

Not me.

Suomi Poika

Brookie and others,

Good thread.

Some of the most driven people I've know have had alcohol and/or drug issues. Many of us somehow remained extremely productive under these conditions. Some crashed. Some didn't. Some are now clean and sober. Most are still compulsive and productive.

Minnie -- I had a mixed up life as a kid. Lots of care, lots of extended loving family. Yet, from the time I was about seven, there were many times I'd be left alone for hours and hours while my parents were gone -- my dad was a heavy drinker, my mother went with him, but didn't usually drink. If you've read some of my other posts, you know that virtually everyone around me was an alcoholic when I was a kid.

To compensate, I did some crazy things to occupy those long horrible hours of aloneness.

We lived near the end of the earth where the weather is extreme. We didn't start school until we were about seven. My mother taught me to read at an early age, long before I ever attended school. I became a voracious reader.

One of the crazy things I did from the time I was about eight to ten years old was to read our entire set of encyclopedias from beginning to end. It was something to do when I was alone. Then it became an obsession. I had to finish them. Needless to say, this type of reading caused me a lot of other problems, especially when I felt it allowed me to challenge the knowledge of my fellow students, my teachers, and many adults in drunken conversation.

It was just one of the many compulsive things I did in my pre-teen, teenage, and early adulthood years. Most were related to learning everything I possilby could about certain topics -- photography, electronics, flying, making beer and wine, etc. It made school, college, and the military very difficult because nothing ever moved fast enough, the training was never thorough enough, and the mentors were never knowledgeable enough. Yet, it had many payoffs too. I'd be chosen for expulsion or court martial, when my enthusiasm would catch someone's attention and get me kicked to a higher level. It was mostly an upward spiral.

But, my alcoholism was different. It quietly snuck up on me over more than 30 years. For much of that time, I knew it was looming in the background. In general, it aggravated me more than it slowed me down. I enjoyed it and I hated it.

Controlling my alcoholism has been about the hardest thing I've ever tried to master. The obsession to learn everything I could about alcoholism, and the desire to remain sober is strong. But, there were many failures -- far more than with anything else I ever attempted.

Even after several years of being mostly under control, the strong desire for a drink recurs with all too frequent regularity. Compulsion to stay sober is often challenged by some strange disconnect in my brain. In good times and bad, it often reminds me of the childhood cartoon of the devil whispering in one ear, while a guardian angel pulls on the other ear.

I guess my writing is kind of obsessive. Sorry!

Stay really really sober,

Toivo

lui

So, is that what it is? (My title refers to a family thing...when someone is going on and on and on about something, we say "A little O-C, don't ya think?" ) Now, I'm right in the middle of a stack of books all relating to alcoholism, I've joined this forum and am reading at all hours, etc...But I'm like this about any new topic :reporter: . I'm trying to understand which part of this decision to quit is the attention I put on it by it being the "new thing" to research. Does this make sense? Then again, I believe I may be using this theoretical knowledge I'm gleaning from all these sources to somehow put up a front; I'm actually rationalizing why I'm still drinking, and when and how I plan to quit. OR, I'm just making myself crazy, because I know I need to stop this drinking!!! :