Paws
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
My mind was all over the place for about the first 9 or 10 months of sobriety.
After 27 years of drinking every single day my brain chemistry was altered.
Today I am almost 14 months sober and I am doing well; I am not 100% and I don't ever expect to be - I still have my off moments but I have the tools to cope with them now.
After 27 years of drinking every single day my brain chemistry was altered.
Today I am almost 14 months sober and I am doing well; I am not 100% and I don't ever expect to be - I still have my off moments but I have the tools to cope with them now.
Human
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Earth
Posts: 183
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
Cookies are nutritious! Pumpkin pie! It's a vegetable!
I have to chime in with everyone about how great of an idea Yoga is for PAWS. I know it's still an argued medical condition, but truly I struggled with it for close to a year. It's a real thing, an adjustment period where your brain gets used to acting like a brain again. Addiction shuts off so many facets that PAWS is just your brain being overwhelmed with having access to all its abilities again. Super scientific theory
anyway! You're on the right track. Exercise is going to be your best friend. As well as the pumpkin pie!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 19
Mindful, LOVE the tshirt! I'm a walking tshirt, really, so no need to buy one. Can think of a few people who would love that for a gift tho. 3 hour workout!?!? Gone are the days. You're my hero. With kid, 40-60 minutes is all I get, until marathon training starts. Then fiance becomes super mommy for me. 
She's already being super with everything going on. BIG hugs to her!
You go SS on the 90 minutes of Power! I've got Legs tonight. Its a goodie, and I'm going to hurt for a few days, but its a good hurt. LOL! I will channel your motivation from your earlier yoga. My triceps are hurting just thinking of how much down dog and sun sals you probably did.
Doug39, way to go on 14 months! I aspire! I hope therapy will help with my coping toolset.
Purpleskye, may just add some yoga back in. Thanks for the further suggestion.
She's already being super with everything going on. BIG hugs to her!You go SS on the 90 minutes of Power! I've got Legs tonight. Its a goodie, and I'm going to hurt for a few days, but its a good hurt. LOL! I will channel your motivation from your earlier yoga. My triceps are hurting just thinking of how much down dog and sun sals you probably did.
Doug39, way to go on 14 months! I aspire! I hope therapy will help with my coping toolset.
Purpleskye, may just add some yoga back in. Thanks for the further suggestion.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by ljc267
I would agree with the 2-4 months being the worst. After that time it slowly got better.
Exercise is very important, at least it was for me.
Exercise is very important, at least it was for me.
What a fun thread today
I’m pleased we can all keep our sense of humor! It’s better than crying, right?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 3
Hi everyone,
I was looking for more details about PAWS and stuff and got here. Nice place.
Since this is my first post here, let me introduce my self so to speak. I am 33 and I've been using alcohol pretty heavily for about 10 years (once it was >= 0.5L of cognac per night for about 8 months) or so and a pot with it for about 6 years. To be honest I had 11 months of therapy and managed to stay sober all that time, but the only useful thing I learned back then is how my denial may manifest and what the denial actually is. I quit therapy and relapsed for four years taking a pause for one or three months.
Long story short I managed to stay sober for year now. Unless glass of wine (literally one) counts as a relapse of course, and in this case it is just six months. No program, no therapy. Only mindfulness meditations, self analysis and some CBT related exercises.
Once I quit drinking/smoking I noticed that after pink cloud phase I started feeling really odd. I even thought that I am bipolar or something - periods of energy/joy were followed by depression. And those mood swings... OMG. So I started journal to log what happens with me and noticed that periods of feeling normal become longer and mood swings were not that severe. Then I googled and found about PAWS. Well, it is nice to know what to expect. I shared it with my wife and warned her that I may be depressed or just being a dick for no apparent reason sometimes and I might not be able to spot it right away.
So everything was more or less okay up until last week.
I have not been that depressed since early days of my not so long sobriety. It's not as bad as it was back then or when I was drinking, but anyway frustrating.
Now I wonder, is it just PAWS? Or I was expecting more after these 12 months of not being drunk/high?
P.S.: I moved to Germany last year and now learning new stuff to get a job I want + I need to learn German, since here it is a must.
I was looking for more details about PAWS and stuff and got here. Nice place.
Since this is my first post here, let me introduce my self so to speak. I am 33 and I've been using alcohol pretty heavily for about 10 years (once it was >= 0.5L of cognac per night for about 8 months) or so and a pot with it for about 6 years. To be honest I had 11 months of therapy and managed to stay sober all that time, but the only useful thing I learned back then is how my denial may manifest and what the denial actually is. I quit therapy and relapsed for four years taking a pause for one or three months.
Long story short I managed to stay sober for year now. Unless glass of wine (literally one) counts as a relapse of course, and in this case it is just six months. No program, no therapy. Only mindfulness meditations, self analysis and some CBT related exercises.
Once I quit drinking/smoking I noticed that after pink cloud phase I started feeling really odd. I even thought that I am bipolar or something - periods of energy/joy were followed by depression. And those mood swings... OMG. So I started journal to log what happens with me and noticed that periods of feeling normal become longer and mood swings were not that severe. Then I googled and found about PAWS. Well, it is nice to know what to expect. I shared it with my wife and warned her that I may be depressed or just being a dick for no apparent reason sometimes and I might not be able to spot it right away.
So everything was more or less okay up until last week.
I have not been that depressed since early days of my not so long sobriety. It's not as bad as it was back then or when I was drinking, but anyway frustrating.
Now I wonder, is it just PAWS? Or I was expecting more after these 12 months of not being drunk/high?
P.S.: I moved to Germany last year and now learning new stuff to get a job I want + I need to learn German, since here it is a must.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by Purpleskye
I like the way you think!
I have to chime in with everyone about how great of an idea Yoga is for PAWS. I know it's still an argued medical condition, but truly I struggled with it for close to a year. It's a real thing, an adjustment period where your brain gets used to acting like a brain again. Addiction shuts off so many facets that PAWS is just your brain being overwhelmed with having access to all its abilities again. Super scientific theory anyway! You're on the right track. Exercise is going to be your best friend. As well as the pumpkin pie!
I have to chime in with everyone about how great of an idea Yoga is for PAWS. I know it's still an argued medical condition, but truly I struggled with it for close to a year. It's a real thing, an adjustment period where your brain gets used to acting like a brain again. Addiction shuts off so many facets that PAWS is just your brain being overwhelmed with having access to all its abilities again. Super scientific theory
anyway! You're on the right track. Exercise is going to be your best friend. As well as the pumpkin pie!. I know it will be a long year...as long as everyone’s still here, I’ll get through it.No drinking!! I need you guys!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Heh-maybe i'm the wrong guy to ask, but here's my 2 cents.
My head is fu#$ed. I can't remember s#it, my attention span is that of a 3rd grader...and sometimes, very often in fact i have a terrible time writing things that make sense.
that's at almost 2 years.
my memory hasn't really gotten better than worse, or whatever, i notice it more times than others, that's all.
one thing i told myself i'd do this time was to stay away from these buzz word threads...like PAWS..."kindling" and stuff like that.
Why?
Because i can convince myself of anything...to the point where if i try hard enough i can manifest just about anything i read about into fruition. if i obsess about it long enough...you bet your ass i can create it....so i only read your post at the very beginnning, Sassy.
Be careful....don't get yourself to a place where you expect more than you can give. I'm also sure that if i tried harder, i could make my memory better...of if i wrote more or did writing exercises or worked on my grammar for awhile, it would all come back. I'm just not there yet. One thing at a time.
Just take care of today. The rest will be there as long as you don't drink.
My head is fu#$ed. I can't remember s#it, my attention span is that of a 3rd grader...and sometimes, very often in fact i have a terrible time writing things that make sense.
that's at almost 2 years.
my memory hasn't really gotten better than worse, or whatever, i notice it more times than others, that's all.
one thing i told myself i'd do this time was to stay away from these buzz word threads...like PAWS..."kindling" and stuff like that.
Why?
Because i can convince myself of anything...to the point where if i try hard enough i can manifest just about anything i read about into fruition. if i obsess about it long enough...you bet your ass i can create it....so i only read your post at the very beginnning, Sassy.
Be careful....don't get yourself to a place where you expect more than you can give. I'm also sure that if i tried harder, i could make my memory better...of if i wrote more or did writing exercises or worked on my grammar for awhile, it would all come back. I'm just not there yet. One thing at a time.
Just take care of today. The rest will be there as long as you don't drink.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
PAWS is essentially "What the hell do I do with my life now without booze?"
The options are endless! Coming out of the fog is often times scary, but you will find the way with new, or old rekindled interests you wonder why you threw away in the first place.
The options are endless! Coming out of the fog is often times scary, but you will find the way with new, or old rekindled interests you wonder why you threw away in the first place.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Just want to know of the ABs come with the shirt. Or do I really have to exercise....
I honestly never thought I would ever be really happy, but at least I was sober.
I also understand about too many labels, for for many folk just knowing that what they experience is real and has been experienced by other like minded people really helps.
For me, the PAWS thing was physical, my brain did not do happy after having been given happiness for so long in a bottle, or at least what it saw as happiness, and created a lot of havoc trying to readjust. Who can blame the poor thing after all those years of abuse. How is that for science???
But now I am happy in a way I never was before.
Appreciative of all the little stuff, etc.
I am sorry it is so hard, but I can only say its worth it.
And we are with you.
I honestly never thought I would ever be really happy, but at least I was sober.
I also understand about too many labels, for for many folk just knowing that what they experience is real and has been experienced by other like minded people really helps.
For me, the PAWS thing was physical, my brain did not do happy after having been given happiness for so long in a bottle, or at least what it saw as happiness, and created a lot of havoc trying to readjust. Who can blame the poor thing after all those years of abuse. How is that for science???
But now I am happy in a way I never was before.
Appreciative of all the little stuff, etc.
I am sorry it is so hard, but I can only say its worth it.
And we are with you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Just want to know of the ABs come with the shirt.
I never thought I would ever be really happy, but at least I was sober.
Now I am happy in a way I never was before.
Appreciative of all the little stuff, etc.
I am sorry it is so hard, but I can only say its worth it.
And we are with you.
I never thought I would ever be really happy, but at least I was sober.
Now I am happy in a way I never was before.
Appreciative of all the little stuff, etc.
I am sorry it is so hard, but I can only say its worth it.
And we are with you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by Forward12
PAWS is essentially "What the hell do I do with my life now without booze?"
The options are endless! Coming out of the fog is often times scary, but you will find the way with new, or old rekindled interests you wonder why you threw away in the first place.
The options are endless! Coming out of the fog is often times scary, but you will find the way with new, or old rekindled interests you wonder why you threw away in the first place.
Never thought of it quite like that but I think that is part of it.
For years the first thing I did when I walked in the door was open a beer and the last thing I did before I went to bed is throw the last one out. After I quit, I sat in my head for quite a while because I didn't know what else to do with myself.
Spent years doing one thing with my spare time and it took quite a while to find other interests to occupy my time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Portland maine
Posts: 1,330
some moments the booze beast in my brain screams for relief. I am choosing each moment to ignore it, in hopes that it will quiet down. I don't believe it will ever go away forever, but that's ok. Drinking for 30 years plus did a lot of damage. At least now, I am present for the moment. Good thread.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by Awake61
some moments the booze beast in my brain screams for relief. I am choosing each moment to ignore it, in hopes that it will quiet down. I don't believe it will ever go away forever, but that's ok. Drinking for 30 years plus did a lot of damage. At least now, I am present for the moment. Good thread.
I now know that will never happen. If I ever started again I would be back at it full go before I knew what happened.
For me it is imperative to never even consider that drinking is ever an option and I won't.
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
Ah this thread has made me wonder.... I'm a working mum, 2 young kids (one preschool). I'm 11 weeks sober. I feel I'm doing ok but my anxiety seems to have struck big time recently. I've done a therapy course for it and so have some techniques to help which I'm so grateful for as it is truly awful at the moment. My job is full on but I'm struggling to concentrate, I feel overwhelmed at times with everything. Hmmmm, maybe I'm going through the same thing....
Thanks for the thread. X
Thanks for the thread. X
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Originally Posted by ljc267
A big mistake I made that kept me going back to drinking was I always entertained the option of drinking again. Once I feel better then I will be able to have a few, and so on.
I now know that will never happen. If I ever started again I would be back at it full go before I knew what happened.
For me it is imperative to never even consider that drinking is ever an option and I won't.
I now know that will never happen. If I ever started again I would be back at it full go before I knew what happened.
For me it is imperative to never even consider that drinking is ever an option and I won't.
I'm lucky in one way. I never really tried to quit drinking before, and in early rehab it was only going to be a "break."
Several weeks later a switch just flipped and I was no longer a drinker.
Negotiation with alcohol is what we do if we're not "normal" drinkers. "I can have 1-2 tonight because I have a big meeting tomorrow (which turns into 4-5). "If I don't drink too much I'll be OK to drive home" (we don't moderate and end up putting ourselves and others in danger). "Just not during the week" (which lasts right up until we get home from work).
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 3,027
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
Agreed. It's exhausting to try and drink "normally" when you're an alcoholic. Much easier when you completely take that option off the table.
I'm lucky in one way. I never really tried to quit drinking before, and in early rehab it was only going to be a "break."
Several weeks later a switch just flipped and I was no longer a drinker.
Negotiation with alcohol is what we do if we're not "normal" drinkers. "I can have 1-2 tonight because I have a big meeting tomorrow (which turns into 4-5). "If I don't drink too much I'll be OK to drive home" (we don't moderate and end up putting ourselves and others in danger). "Just not during the week" (which lasts right up until we get home from work).
I'm lucky in one way. I never really tried to quit drinking before, and in early rehab it was only going to be a "break."
Several weeks later a switch just flipped and I was no longer a drinker.
Negotiation with alcohol is what we do if we're not "normal" drinkers. "I can have 1-2 tonight because I have a big meeting tomorrow (which turns into 4-5). "If I don't drink too much I'll be OK to drive home" (we don't moderate and end up putting ourselves and others in danger). "Just not during the week" (which lasts right up until we get home from work).
Weekends after the Saturday workout? Benders.
My lord. I can’t tell you how blessed I feel to not have to do any of that any more. I’ve been given a gift the not yet sober have not been given yet, and I sincerely wish the same blessing on them.
I’ll take tired and foggy: no sweat. I can do that with my hands tied....I did far more difficult stuff than that as an active alcoholic.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 256
Originally Posted by RunFasterSober
Avid exerciser. Been for a while (25+ years). Can't believe I actually got it done yesterday, but I was resolved to do so. Typically, I run, but took a step back due to minor back injury sustained during race in October, and because I thought switching it up might help. It has, actually. That's why I identify with you so much, considering all the mentions you make of Crossfit. Haven't gone the Crossfit road yet. There's no place conveniently located, and with kids, commute and all.... you know how it goes. Might jump on the band wagon some day.
Been sober a hair under 2 months. So, its pretty scary to think I'll be going through the worst of it for yet ANOTHER 2 months. I know I can do this. I know WE can do this. I'm so appreciative to have a loving partner, who's super-crazy supportive, and to have found this place. I can't tell you the numerous times I hop on and read EXACTLY what I'm thinking at that very moment on a post.
Anyways, thanks for the encouragement. Hugs to you as well! Hope the yoga helped. Love me some yoga - especially, power! If you ever want a laugh while yogaing (which is kind of counter-intuitive), but also a super workout, P90X's original YogaX is darn good. I have to admit, its a bit off the true yogic mind path, but its intense and Tony Horton is a hoot.
Bunny211 - Some day I'm going to call myself "sober AF" too!!!! Today, actually!!!
Been sober a hair under 2 months. So, its pretty scary to think I'll be going through the worst of it for yet ANOTHER 2 months. I know I can do this. I know WE can do this. I'm so appreciative to have a loving partner, who's super-crazy supportive, and to have found this place. I can't tell you the numerous times I hop on and read EXACTLY what I'm thinking at that very moment on a post.
Anyways, thanks for the encouragement. Hugs to you as well! Hope the yoga helped. Love me some yoga - especially, power! If you ever want a laugh while yogaing (which is kind of counter-intuitive), but also a super workout, P90X's original YogaX is darn good. I have to admit, its a bit off the true yogic mind path, but its intense and Tony Horton is a hoot.
Bunny211 - Some day I'm going to call myself "sober AF" too!!!! Today, actually!!!
Instead of being afraid that you still have to suffer through PAWS look forward to a future without alcohol. Nobody can predict how long PAWS will go on for who how tough it will be. Only thing you can do is take it day by day.
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