Six month check-in
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 185
Six month check-in
Hi, friends,
In a few days I'll be six months sober. In a lot of ways, I can't believe it's been that long; in other ways, it feels like a blink.
My alcoholic life feels like it happened to someone else. If I didn't remember the specifics--like the mental snapshot I have of me slugging vodka from the bottle stashed in my trunk after work, hoping the buzz would "hit" before I got home--I wouldn't even believe it was me.
But it was. It really was.
I read posts on SR every single night. It keeps me grounded and focused. I'm soooooooo grateful to you all.
To be clear: I still have a lot of work to do on myself. In sobriety, I have realized how low my self-confidence REALLY is, in spite of the bravado I project in my work and life. I have realized how much I compare myself to others, finding ways I come up short and then obsessing about them. I have become aware of the critical voice in my head (SHE NEVER SHUTS UP!!!!) and identifying it for what it is, rather than just taking gulps until that voice is finally quiet.
So, now that I'm aware of that relentless self-criticism, and now that drinking isn't an option, I have to figure out how to shush that voice. Accept who I am and all that.
So, yeah. Lots to do.
But now that PAWS is finally quieting down, I'm savoring flashes of happiness and peace. Those are two emotions I had forgotten about. It's super-cool to rediscover that they exist.
Onward--sober.
xo
In a few days I'll be six months sober. In a lot of ways, I can't believe it's been that long; in other ways, it feels like a blink.
My alcoholic life feels like it happened to someone else. If I didn't remember the specifics--like the mental snapshot I have of me slugging vodka from the bottle stashed in my trunk after work, hoping the buzz would "hit" before I got home--I wouldn't even believe it was me.
But it was. It really was.
I read posts on SR every single night. It keeps me grounded and focused. I'm soooooooo grateful to you all.
To be clear: I still have a lot of work to do on myself. In sobriety, I have realized how low my self-confidence REALLY is, in spite of the bravado I project in my work and life. I have realized how much I compare myself to others, finding ways I come up short and then obsessing about them. I have become aware of the critical voice in my head (SHE NEVER SHUTS UP!!!!) and identifying it for what it is, rather than just taking gulps until that voice is finally quiet.
So, now that I'm aware of that relentless self-criticism, and now that drinking isn't an option, I have to figure out how to shush that voice. Accept who I am and all that.
So, yeah. Lots to do.
But now that PAWS is finally quieting down, I'm savoring flashes of happiness and peace. Those are two emotions I had forgotten about. It's super-cool to rediscover that they exist.
Onward--sober.
xo
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
That self-critical voice sucks.
I have two, one from Mom and one from Dad.
Congrats on your six months. I'm a month ahead of you, six months was huge. I felt cautiously safe for the first time in my sobriety.
Keep it up!
I have two, one from Mom and one from Dad.
Congrats on your six months. I'm a month ahead of you, six months was huge. I felt cautiously safe for the first time in my sobriety.
Keep it up!
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