Be wary of terminal uniqueness
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Originally Posted by Stayingsassy 
It’s very hard to get out of an alcohol prison. You’ve got to want it. It has to get bad. .
Now that I am sober I can see how bad she is - she repeats herself so much because she doesn't remember telling me things when she is drunk. And I know booze is effecting her health; she vomits a lot.
I used to dry heave every morning but she vomits after drinking.
I always told myself "I am not that bad" and I am sure she tells herself the same thing.
She just got a promotion and a big raise at work so in her mind whatever she is doing must be right.
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Originally Posted by Doug39
This is what I tell her - get out before something bad happens.
Now that I am sober I can see how bad she is - she repeats herself so much because she doesn't remember telling me things when she is drunk. And I know booze is effecting her health; she vomits a lot.
I used to dry heave every morning but she vomits after drinking.
I always told myself "I am not that bad" and I am sure she tells herself the same thing.
She just got a promotion and a big raise at work so in her mind whatever she is doing must be right.
Now that I am sober I can see how bad she is - she repeats herself so much because she doesn't remember telling me things when she is drunk. And I know booze is effecting her health; she vomits a lot.
I used to dry heave every morning but she vomits after drinking.
I always told myself "I am not that bad" and I am sure she tells herself the same thing.
She just got a promotion and a big raise at work so in her mind whatever she is doing must be right.
You can bet she is absolutely using her job success as justification that she is fine. I know because I did the same exact thing.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Originally Posted by Stayingsassy
I’m sure her health is not good. It depends on the age sometimes.
Well my wife and I are both 54. She has been drinking heavy for over 30 years - how she gets up and goes to work everyday is a mystery to me.
Originally Posted by Stayingsassy
. You can tell from facial skin.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
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Excuses to drink come naturally for those who haven't hit bottom yet. It's a condition of the disease. I call it an illusion, smoke and mirrors if you will. It's what alcoholism does to our brain. It conjures all avenues to consume us. Unfortunately it takes us to the grave. For some, we somehow sober up and quit. We hit our breaking point and stop killing ourselves. I don't know why this is. It's baffling to me just like the disease itself. I had to pray, still do. All I know is he answered my prayers. I couldn't do it on my own.
This substance we call alcohol is just evil. Pure evil for us. Don't touch it, ever.
This substance we call alcohol is just evil. Pure evil for us. Don't touch it, ever.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Originally Posted by Doug39
This is what I tell her - get out before something bad happens.
Now that I am sober I can see how bad she is - she repeats herself so much because she doesn't remember telling me things when she is drunk. And I know booze is effecting her health; she vomits a lot.
I used to dry heave every morning but she vomits after drinking.
I always told myself "I am not that bad" and I am sure she tells herself the same thing.
She just got a promotion and a big raise at work so in her mind whatever she is doing must be right.
Now that I am sober I can see how bad she is - she repeats herself so much because she doesn't remember telling me things when she is drunk. And I know booze is effecting her health; she vomits a lot.
I used to dry heave every morning but she vomits after drinking.
I always told myself "I am not that bad" and I am sure she tells herself the same thing.
She just got a promotion and a big raise at work so in her mind whatever she is doing must be right.
What it really means is that you haven't yet gotten caught.
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 983
I agree, I have always blamed my drinking on childhood trauma 'I drink to forget' but I realise that's no excuse as the fact is when I sober up all my childhood traumas are still there and in fact Im not forgetting at all as I sit and cry for hours on end when I'm drunk I just don't remember doing it. My partner tells me the next day about all the things I have said or been crying about so my theory behind drinking to forget doesn't actually happen.
I actually make my anxiety worse because I spend my drunk time crying and my sober time in regretting the drinking that caused me to get so upset, and then shortly after repeat this cycle because I forget that booze isn't my friend.
It's a hard cycle to break if it's all Uv known since a young age (13 in my case) but understanding it better helps.
Lpg
I actually make my anxiety worse because I spend my drunk time crying and my sober time in regretting the drinking that caused me to get so upset, and then shortly after repeat this cycle because I forget that booze isn't my friend.
It's a hard cycle to break if it's all Uv known since a young age (13 in my case) but understanding it better helps.
Lpg
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Originally Posted by Lpg
I agree, I have always blamed my drinking on childhood trauma 'I drink to forget' but I realise that's no excuse as the fact is when I sober up all my childhood traumas are still there and in fact Im not forgetting at all as I sit and cry for hours on end when I'm drunk I just don't remember doing it. My partner tells me the next day about all the things I have said or been crying about so my theory behind drinking to forget doesn't actually happen.
I actually make my anxiety worse because I spend my drunk time crying and my sober time in regretting the drinking that caused me to get so upset, and then shortly after repeat this cycle because I forget that booze isn't my friend.
It's a hard cycle to break if it's all Uv known since a young age (13 in my case) but understanding it better helps.
Lpg
I actually make my anxiety worse because I spend my drunk time crying and my sober time in regretting the drinking that caused me to get so upset, and then shortly after repeat this cycle because I forget that booze isn't my friend.
It's a hard cycle to break if it's all Uv known since a young age (13 in my case) but understanding it better helps.
Lpg
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
As usual, I find myself in agreement with Sassy. Get out of my head, woman!
Drinking/using is nothing but an avoidance mechanism.
In sobriety, you can start working your life and solving far more interesting problems than lying, hangovers, regret, DUIs...and exchange them for better ones. What do I do with my life? How can I accomplish more in my career? What would make my relationships better? WHY am I so anxious? None of which get dealt with when drinking, as our good old 'friend' is probably the best 'solution' to our problems. Then we briefly 'sober up' and our life problems are still there.
Working with a good therapist can enable you to process these childhood traumas and to be relatively free of them. The 4th Step is a great beginning towards this work as well.
Drinking/using is nothing but an avoidance mechanism.
In sobriety, you can start working your life and solving far more interesting problems than lying, hangovers, regret, DUIs...and exchange them for better ones. What do I do with my life? How can I accomplish more in my career? What would make my relationships better? WHY am I so anxious? None of which get dealt with when drinking, as our good old 'friend' is probably the best 'solution' to our problems. Then we briefly 'sober up' and our life problems are still there.
Working with a good therapist can enable you to process these childhood traumas and to be relatively free of them. The 4th Step is a great beginning towards this work as well.
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Originally Posted by MindfulMan
As usual, I find myself in agreement with Sassy. Get out of my head, woman!
Drinking/using is nothing but an avoidance mechanism.
In sobriety, you can start working your life and solving far more interesting problems than lying, hangovers, regret, DUIs...and exchange them for better ones. What do I do with my life? How can I accomplish more in my career? What would make my relationships better? WHY am I so anxious? None of which get dealt with when drinking, as our good old 'friend' is probably the best 'solution' to our problems. Then we briefly 'sober up' and our life problems are still there.
Working with a good therapist can enable you to process these childhood traumas and to be relatively free of them. The 4th Step is a great beginning towards this work as well.
Drinking/using is nothing but an avoidance mechanism.
In sobriety, you can start working your life and solving far more interesting problems than lying, hangovers, regret, DUIs...and exchange them for better ones. What do I do with my life? How can I accomplish more in my career? What would make my relationships better? WHY am I so anxious? None of which get dealt with when drinking, as our good old 'friend' is probably the best 'solution' to our problems. Then we briefly 'sober up' and our life problems are still there.
Working with a good therapist can enable you to process these childhood traumas and to be relatively free of them. The 4th Step is a great beginning towards this work as well.
It’s only because I have spent the last nine years doing all this research while trying to quit. I learned it all, yet learned nothing, because I kept going back out there.
That’s why I believe that you can read recovery literature until you’re going around in circles but you still ain’t sober til you...wait for it....quit drinking!
And damnit mindful, tell me how in the heck you manage to stay keto in recovery!! The cookies and chocolate are killing me, I’m doing a fast right now just to try to get control, also lots of crossfit. I know the body results with keto are really rewarding but the sugar thing is getting to me...it keeps calling, calling. I love how keto kills sugar cravings, just pretty hard during the holidays.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
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Originally Posted by Stayingsassy
It’s only because I have spent the last nine years doing all this research while trying to quit. I learned it all, yet learned nothing, because I kept going back out there.
That’s why I believe that you can read recovery literature until you’re going around in circles but you still ain’t sober til you...wait for it....quit drinking!
And damnit mindful, tell me how in the heck you manage to stay keto in recovery!! The cookies and chocolate are killing me, I’m doing a fast right now just to try to get control, also lots of crossfit. I know the body results with keto are really rewarding but the sugar thing is getting to me...it keeps calling, calling. I love how keto kills sugar cravings, just pretty hard during the holidays.
I know, right? Stop looking at the menu and eat already! I tend to WAY overthink and over research stuff...just do it!
I’ve never had a huge sweet tooth, but I had wicked sugar cravings at first. They are still there, but just like alcohol cravings if you acknowledge them, don’t try and fight them but don’t hold onto them either they just kind of float away.
Sugar will be a treat, not a lifestyle.
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Originally Posted by MindfulMan
LOL.
I know, right? Stop looking at the menu and eat already! I tend to WAY overthink and over research stuff...just do it!
I’ve never had a huge sweet tooth, but I had wicked sugar cravings at first. They are still there, but just like alcohol cravings if you acknowledge them, don’t try and fight them but don’t hold onto them either they just kind of float away.
Sugar will be a treat, not a lifestyle.
I know, right? Stop looking at the menu and eat already! I tend to WAY overthink and over research stuff...just do it!
I’ve never had a huge sweet tooth, but I had wicked sugar cravings at first. They are still there, but just like alcohol cravings if you acknowledge them, don’t try and fight them but don’t hold onto them either they just kind of float away.
Sugar will be a treat, not a lifestyle.
Not biting the bullet yet, though. Not until after Xmas, I’m just doing IF right now and lowcarb will wait til after the holidays.
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Originally Posted by MindfulMan
I had a tiny corner of peppermint bark. It was good, but it isn't calling to me right now.
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Almost 10 years ago my only child died in his sleep. Just like that.
For a while I drank so heavily I really just wanted to die. I was too much of a coward to throw myself off a bridge or hang myself, but drinking myself to death was a serious consideration and I went at it hard.
After a while I began to come to terms with his death, but the drinking stayed in situ. Now don't get me wrong - I was a big drinker before my baby died - but now I was a full blown, daily drinking, alcoholic.
Eventually I realised my drinking was now nothing to do with the loss of my boy - I was now drinking because I was a sot. What got me there was now unimportant - where I found myself was all that really mattered.
So in general I agree with the OP. We all have a story. Sometimes a very sad story. But in the end the biggest chapter in our biography reads the same. It's titled "I am an alcoholic and it's why I drink".
Regards,
JT
For a while I drank so heavily I really just wanted to die. I was too much of a coward to throw myself off a bridge or hang myself, but drinking myself to death was a serious consideration and I went at it hard.
After a while I began to come to terms with his death, but the drinking stayed in situ. Now don't get me wrong - I was a big drinker before my baby died - but now I was a full blown, daily drinking, alcoholic.
Eventually I realised my drinking was now nothing to do with the loss of my boy - I was now drinking because I was a sot. What got me there was now unimportant - where I found myself was all that really mattered.
So in general I agree with the OP. We all have a story. Sometimes a very sad story. But in the end the biggest chapter in our biography reads the same. It's titled "I am an alcoholic and it's why I drink".
Regards,
JT
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Location: UK
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Aww IT.
Sending cyber-hugs your way. Life can get tough. Alcohol can make it even tougher as well when we add it into the mix, despite its promises to us thtbutll make us feel better. It's a darned good liar. At least you saw through its false promises eventually. Plenty haven't.
BB
Sending cyber-hugs your way. Life can get tough. Alcohol can make it even tougher as well when we add it into the mix, despite its promises to us thtbutll make us feel better. It's a darned good liar. At least you saw through its false promises eventually. Plenty haven't.
BB
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Originally Posted by JustTony
Almost 10 years ago my only child died in his sleep. Just like that.
For a while I drank so heavily I really just wanted to die. I was too much of a coward to throw myself off a bridge or hang myself, but drinking myself to death was a serious consideration and I went at it hard.
After a while I began to come to terms with his death, but the drinking stayed in situ. Now don't get me wrong - I was a big drinker before my baby died - but now I was a full blown, daily drinking, alcoholic.
Eventually I realised my drinking was now nothing to do with the loss of my boy - I was now drinking because I was a sot. What got me there was now unimportant - where I found myself was all that really mattered.
So in general I agree with the OP. We all have a story. Sometimes a very sad story. But in the end the biggest chapter in our biography reads the same. It's titled "I am an alcoholic and it's why I drink".
Regards,
JT
For a while I drank so heavily I really just wanted to die. I was too much of a coward to throw myself off a bridge or hang myself, but drinking myself to death was a serious consideration and I went at it hard.
After a while I began to come to terms with his death, but the drinking stayed in situ. Now don't get me wrong - I was a big drinker before my baby died - but now I was a full blown, daily drinking, alcoholic.
Eventually I realised my drinking was now nothing to do with the loss of my boy - I was now drinking because I was a sot. What got me there was now unimportant - where I found myself was all that really mattered.
So in general I agree with the OP. We all have a story. Sometimes a very sad story. But in the end the biggest chapter in our biography reads the same. It's titled "I am an alcoholic and it's why I drink".
Regards,
JT
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