Slowly dying...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by corriec 
and alcohol does help...
it would be "alcohol has helped me live!"
and it aint helpin ya live- its only prolonging the pain and suffering.
to add to what scott was saying about what ya call it, if ya want to call it something, its as simple as
untreated alcoholism.
which is treatable.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 1,060
Originally Posted by Stayingsassy
I was this way with my husband and the drinking blew it completely out of control. Not drinking, I am able to be peaceful, reasonable, and more able to focus on what I can do to build myself up, instead of clinging to another person , needing him to validate me.
Honestly, she needs to stop. You can’t live with that. I wouldn’t expect my husband to live with my jealousy...which came from a sense of deep unworthiness, also some midlife crisis stuff thrown in....I would expect me to get better and stop torturing him, and if I couldn’t? He should leave.
As a wife, I’d need my husband to calmly point out exactly what behavior (with specifics) needed to stop, then for him to give me some time to work on it, and if no progress in that time frame, he’d leave. My husband just got really mad and didn’t say that which put me further in a victim role. Empower her to change.
She could build herself up physically, intellectually with her interests and hobbies, make new friends and do fun things with them, anything really to take the focus off you...these things do help a jealous person. I know because I’ve lived it...
And don’t ever drink because of it. No good comes from drinking. None, it just prolongs pain, problems, and stagnates change and growth. No drinking no matter what.
Your drinking is not her problem, it’s also not a problem because she is jealous. Your drinking problem is a separate issue. If there weren’t a jealous wife, you would still drink, if you did not address the alcohol addiction. You’d find another reason. It’s a problem that exists independently of literally anything that is happening in your life.
Honestly, she needs to stop. You can’t live with that. I wouldn’t expect my husband to live with my jealousy...which came from a sense of deep unworthiness, also some midlife crisis stuff thrown in....I would expect me to get better and stop torturing him, and if I couldn’t? He should leave.
As a wife, I’d need my husband to calmly point out exactly what behavior (with specifics) needed to stop, then for him to give me some time to work on it, and if no progress in that time frame, he’d leave. My husband just got really mad and didn’t say that which put me further in a victim role. Empower her to change.
She could build herself up physically, intellectually with her interests and hobbies, make new friends and do fun things with them, anything really to take the focus off you...these things do help a jealous person. I know because I’ve lived it...
And don’t ever drink because of it. No good comes from drinking. None, it just prolongs pain, problems, and stagnates change and growth. No drinking no matter what.
Your drinking is not her problem, it’s also not a problem because she is jealous. Your drinking problem is a separate issue. If there weren’t a jealous wife, you would still drink, if you did not address the alcohol addiction. You’d find another reason. It’s a problem that exists independently of literally anything that is happening in your life.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Yeah alcohol doesn't help...there's no solution - for most of us it simply makes the intolerable tolerable...
the inevitable problem is the 'fix' then becomes even more intolerable.
I don't know what the answer is to what ails you Corriec but the answers not in the bottom of a bottle - thats running away from answers.
You've often talked about what we need to get and stay sober. I daresay you've helped others here.
Maybe it's time to re-read your old posts and take your own advice?
D
the inevitable problem is the 'fix' then becomes even more intolerable.
I don't know what the answer is to what ails you Corriec but the answers not in the bottom of a bottle - thats running away from answers.
You've often talked about what we need to get and stay sober. I daresay you've helped others here.
Maybe it's time to re-read your old posts and take your own advice?
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I couldn't stay sober on my own, couldn't replace something (drinking) with nothing. It was because I knew I'd die if I continued drinking that I went to AA and haven't stopped. It's an option you shouldn't discount if you're really desperate. What recovery gives us is choices in who we want to be, who we want in our life. I recommend it. A big hug.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
